Chicken Not-So-Little

So now the Germans are getting into the satellite crashing business.

Many people are wondering what on earth is bringing down all these satellites?

Our readers, of course, are not wondering at all. And many of you have sent emails congratulating the Mandarin on his vastly improved aim.

And, at this rate, we should have all 40,000 pieces of space junk cleaned out of orbit by 2015. And that means only our mind-control satellites will be up there, with a nicely unobstructed view of the people of earth.

You might ask, in fact, what the outcome of this would be. Very well: without spoiling it for everyone, the next two years will provide...

1. An inexplicably stupid song will become very popular. Really?

2. A Hollywood blockbuster picture will get lousy reviews and basically flop. For no reason?

3. High school fashions will take a dramatic turn to the moronic. Guess why?

4. A major network will launch a television show that has no redeeming qualities or fan base, yet will run for a few seasons without cancellation. Hmmm.

5. A politician will make a major gaffe, yet refuse to correct an obvious mistake.

And the minds will boggle; but not yours: you will simply look up to the sky and know why.