Notes on Education...

Your Mandarin received the following electronic letters regarding the Education at What Cost post.

Mandy,

You hit that one out of the park. You're pretty much dead on. There is only one element with regard to public schools in underserved areas that you left out.

That element is graft.

When I was a lad growing up in an anonymous state in the Northeast, the best schools in my area of the state received ~$8,500/student in funds (1985-1990 dollars). The worst schools in the state, in the worst city in the state received ~$12,000/student in funds. My BFF's dad, a lawyer who did pro-bono work for said worst-city in the state informed me that of the $12,000, the students only saw ~ $4,000. The other $8,000 disappeared into the ether.

Pretty sad.

Best,

Dr. J.

The esteemed royal surgeon is correct in that graft is a major factor in the demise of the educational system. Your Mandarin didn’t bother to point this out since graft and union/government are almost synonymous in his vast and complex mind. But the royal surgeon was kind enough to explain this point to those of you playing along at home that are new to the game.

Honorable Power-ringed Antagonist of Iron Man:

I am (of course) impressed and in agreement with your new post on Buchanan's article. It's worth noting that these progressive educational ideas fall under the heading of "educational romanticism", which I have discussed over at my place on occasion. If you're interested in any of this, I strongly recommend Robt. Weissberg's Bad Students, Not Bad Schools, which came out last year. He's getting the Cassandra treatment, but like Cassandra, he's right.

With inappropriate fondness bordering on a bad touch,

Prof. Mondo

Your Mandarin would like to thank the erudite Professor Mondo for his fondness of the article. But your Mandarin would warn the good professor to keep his hands to himself at least until this “rash” or whatever it is clears up. And your Mandarin commands all of you reading this post to click on the links that Professor Mondo has so graciously supplied. What are you waiting for, click on them now or your Mandarin will unleash the power and the fury of his orbital annoyance ray. The effects of the ray include nausea, intense itching, minor hair loss on your left leg, and the intense urge to make a hat out of corned beef hash. Now don’t you think you would be better served by clicking on those links?

Spotlight On: Indonesia

The Volgi and the Czar will in the next couple of weeks have a lot more to say on the present and future of China, but let us take a moment to talk about another rising superpower that most of us are ignoring: Indonesia.

Indonesia, which most of us associate with the President’s childhood, something about it being the largest Islamic countries in the world, and modern-day pirates, is in fact an economic powerhouse that is beating out Japan, China, and Korea: its economy has been growing by 6% each year, and will be almost 6.5% in 2011. Its stock market has already jumped into the number two spot, and its GDP is expected to go up 20% in 2011. 52 million Indonesians are expected to enter the middle class in the next few years. Powerful numbers.

And why not? It is a country with lots of labor, cheap production costs, and tons of natural resources. Even Chinese companies are transferring their manufacturing there, which is raises American eyebrows: heck, how often do you hear about Chinese jobs going off-shore?

Gormogons Spotlight On: IndonesiaOf course, it isn’t all good news. Poverty rates in Indonesia are still at 14%, and even higher in some areas. The banking system is not fully capable, although this appears to have helped them avoid the 2008 financial meltdown since they only offered basic banking services and not any of the more advanced types of investments that hurt so many other banks around the world. Amazing, actually, that Indonesia can boast such large numbers.

There is also the possibility of a bubble. The way the Czar sees it, Indonesia is a large country with population restricted to a few large cities and poverty scattered in disorganized or under-organized communities across numerous islands. A small economic downdraft in Jakarta, for example, could easily put thousands of people out of work there; this would soon spread to other cities—and without a rural middle to take up the slack, the national economy would suffer more rapidly than other nations in the area.

But Indonesia is not a foreign policy giant—yet. So far, all this progress has helped Indonesians, but not necessarily Indonesia. Unlike China and India, there is no military presence that can change factors up or down. There is no specific talent in the services sector that make doing things “the Indonesian way” attractive to overseas business. Of course, this could change in a few years as the middle class gets larger, but right now Indonesia may be nothing more than a card player with a really hot hand.

But so what? Why not enjoy the moment? This is great news for Indonesia, but that could spread. What is so unique about the Indonesian success? One could imagine Filipino investors duplicating this experience: in most respects, the Philippines have same set up: a few large cities on diverse islands, good resources, an impoverished population looking to do good work for less money, and an excellent strategic location. Well, one primary difference is that the Philippines tends to look to the US for its support, rather than look in all directions as Indonesia is doing.

Right now Indonesia may be nothing more than a card player with a really hot hand.One element there bothers the Czar more than any other. Indonesia continues to do business with China. Chinese manufacturing jobs are coming to Indonesia. China is purchasing large amounts of raw materials from Indonesia. China is selling upward-moving Indonesians all sorts of consumer products. Where, indeed, is the American investment? Where are the American trade deals? Why, for one, is America not working to develop a robust investment banking system in Indonesia? Basically, you need to look at it like this: Indonesia needs stuff, and if we do not provide it, China will. Eagerly.

If America strengthens Indonesia, Indonesia stops strengthening China. We need to start looking at Indonesia carefully.

Psychic Octopi

FotG Jonah Goldberg references the 50 Funniest Headlines of the Year.

Any guess, would you say, on what percentage of these 50 were in fact our doing?

No, higher.

Higher still.

Yep. You got it.

Speaking of the J-20

(You’d know that that means, had you clicked through on my last post…)

Pictures!

Pictures!

And a little bit on the less-sexy but maybe more-important DF-21D.

We may have to start Tiger Watch

China’s military: “Paper tiger or real?” You know what Confucius thinks…

Venn Will It End

Via TJIC, thank you.

Education At What Cost....

Your Mandarin would like to direct your attention to this article by Patrick J. Buchanan. Your Mandarin suspects that the article will send the educational industrial complex (the unions and Democratic politicians), the race baiters, and the progressives into an apoplectic fit of rage and denial.

The article resonated with a couple of beliefs held by your Mandarin and possibly some of my fellow Gormogons:

1. Not everyone is going to be a winner. The hard cold truth of the matter is that not everyone has the innate ability or the drive needed to succeed. The dream of the “education industrial complex” of lifting everyone out of poverty by giving students the best education money can buy just does not work. The only people benefiting from this expenditure of money are the educators, unions, and administrators.

2. At what cost to the country does the “educational industrial complex’s” desire to level the playing field have? Your Mandarin thinks that the need to lower the bar to have everyone succeed not only destroys the country by holding back those that could perform better, but gives those who normally would fail a false sense of accomplishment.

3. Most of the money spent on inner-city schools is wasted on students that don’t have the family/community support to succeed. No matter what the schools may try, unless there is buy-in from the family/community these programs are bound to fail. Children draw their support and values from their families. The progressives have spent the better part of the last 100 years trying to destroy that structure and replace it with the government. Until these inner-city families are rebuilt and the traditional family is seen as the norm again these children will be bound to fail.

4. Unchecked immigration will ultimately be the downfall of the country. We no longer regulate the flow of immigrants entering the country based on skills that are required. And if you suggest that we should implement structured immigration based on immigrant skill levels and close off the border to illegal immigration, the left-wing/progressive smear machine goes into overdrive with cries of racism. The not so pleasant truth is that for the country to succeed and prosper it needs citizens with the skills necessary to perform all levels of work from assembly line worker to CEO. The country neither has the time or resources to give unskilled and uneducated immigrants an “on-the-job education.”

The cries of the liberal left/progressives have been that children are our future. In this case they are correct, we just need to determine which children we want to rest our futures on.

Climate, Climate, Climate

The always entertaining Borepatch (and you really oughta read him daily) suggests the Czar should “turn his cold, dread eye towards, say, the Climate Science establishment.”

Okay, sure.

Now a lot of you are already rubbing your hands together gleefully, awaiting some sort of anthropogenic global warming cooling changing smackdown. Nope. Because the overall Gormogons’ opinion falls into two pieces, which are rightfully treated separately.

The first is on the nature of climate. Surprisingly, the Gormogons anticipate that there is some sort of massive, long-term/short-term climate change occuring. It may be different in your area, and indeed you may be seeing gentler weather instead of the predicted severe weather, or warmer or colder weather in lieu of the predicted opposites. This is all right—our local observations do not debunk the data any more than your Uncle Marty’s personal anecdotes about winning at poker debunk the idea that gambling in Vegas is likely going to cost you money. No matter how you slice it, crazy stuff is happening.

Now, mind you, “crazy” in climatology is not obvious. A partial degree difference can have a big effect. If you are familiar with something as “simple” as the dry adiabatic lapse rate, you can see how changing the temperature a half-degree or the dewpoint a fraction can result in clouds or no clouds over an area. And when you look at super-saturation, you realize that the difference between a damaging thunderstorm and a simple humid day can differ by a mouse pissing on a tulip. So cut the climatologists and meteorologists some slack when they get freaked out by a half-degree rise in temperature over a certain number of years.

The second part of our opinion falls on the politicization of climatology. This is pretty bad; in fact, it is as bad as we have ever seen it. Some scientist in Jakarta reports that yesterday’s noon temperature was a degree hotter than it was a year ago, and within days some governmental agency is demanding that all profitable American industries shut down, and billions of American dollars be dumped on a Nigerian ex-secretary of the treasury who is certain he can get his gold back and split it with you. The paranoia and hysteria is incredible. Be worried about if A then Z logic. Ask to see the letters in between.

Worse, if you express any doubts about the logic here, liberal noise makers start screaming at you that you fail to understand the science! And, frankly, the Czar has a pretty good background in climatology and meteorology (the Mandarin, too, by the way), and finds the scientific arguments pretty unconvincing, or extrapolated past sanity. Especially on the anthropogenic part.

Look, it works like a criminal investigation, right? A prosecutor lines up the evidence: a piece of broken glass, a mark on the leg, a drop of blood here, and so on. But the noisemakers care little about this: they think they have the smoking gun (or lately, the smoking DNA) that makes the case a slam dunk. And when they don’t get it, they push the next thing. But like a real criminal investigation, we need to look at all the evidence, on both sides. Some of it agrees. Some of it even disagrees. But all of it is partial: the problem is that conservatives want a smoking gun that says with 100% certainty the climate is changing (ain’t gonna happen that way), and the liberals are pretty sure they got it (this time, definitely!). The truth is so much up the middle that it won’t happen soon.

To Borepatch. The official climate establishment is almost totally dysfunctional. Evidence is being stretched, pulled, distorted, and exaggerated everywhere. And the signal-to-noise ratio is very bad: good data is out there, but it winds up at the bottom of some pile we never see, while outrageous or more outlandish stuff shoots up to the top where the skeptics tear it apart. The Czar wants them to just stop. Take a break. Come up with some standards for what can be measured, and then start over. The historical data is highly questionable: we seem to be relying on assumptions, guesses, and interpolations of real information because, a hundred years ago, measurement was terribly unreliable. And climate changes happen on the scale of centuries, so hoping to extrapolate data from the last 50 years is increasingly iffy. We are trying to do too much with too little.

We also need less political intervention. The Democrats have not helped with Cap and Trade: the legislation was bad, foolhardy, and stupid. The IPCC is a United Nations entity, and should be viewed with the same skepticism as you would when borrowing money from La Cosa Nostra Savings and Loan. There are obvious political agendas there for anyone who looks. And on the other side, folks like Sen. Jim Inhofe (R-OK) are an embarrassment to the skeptical community, prone to outrageous statements that rely on reflexive gainsaying. Seriously, if a climatologist ever said to him that stepping out onto the surface Venus would turn you into smoking goo, he would immediately pronounced Venus to be as balmy as Fiji. He is not helping to foster rational analysis.

It comes down to this: the data are trying to tell us something important, but we cannot quite hear it. Climatologists need to shut up and listen to the data, and we need to shut up and give them some quiet so they can hear. Right now, this is like trying to do calculus homework in the middle of a New Years party: a lot of the answers are going to come up flat wrong. And we need to accept that we are not going to get a straight answer—yes or no—for many decades to come.

Ya know who is doing it right? Of all people, Borepatch. He’s an ordinary guy, better versed in the scientific method than most, perhaps, but he looks coldly at the data and finds what works and what does not. Much of it does not, and he puts it out there in easy language. Plus, he separates the facts out: what is a warming claim, what is a cooling claim, what is a natural claim, and what is an anthropogenic claim. This is what the establishment needs to be doing, rather than play Holler-and-Echo on science blogs. Weather change is a real possibility, but it is a gradual shift and change. Sensationalism can only hurt it.

Watching the climate science industry is rather like watching Jack Black, Ryan Seacrest and John Kerry working in a clock factory: you ain’t gonna get a quality product out of that combination.

Unemployed Discouraged by the News

Well, can you believe it is almost 2011? The Czar is still writing 1453 on his checks. Anyway, we are getting behind on mail again. First up, Dr. J writes in on what we should be doing with the rise of Chinese militarism:

Dread & Awful Czar,

The left has been eerily silent about President Obama’s latest not-so-great-moment in sports .

Apparently, President Obama gave Philadelphia Eagles owner Jeffrey Lurie a call to congratulate the Eagles on winning the NFC East (yay!) and for giving Michael Vick a second chance (boo!). Michael Vick, as you know, did time for financing a dog fighting ring.

Many Eagle fans were less than thrilled that Michael Vick was picked up because of his crimes against caninity. Indeed, Dr. J., himself did a head slap over this one. He also his happy for the Eagles’s and Mr. Vick’s success and hope that Mr. Vick is now walking the straight and narrow. Eagles fans can be very forgiving of a winner; it’s in their fickle nature. But make no mistake, one or two bad games and the Eagles fans will pelt Mr. Vick with puppies from the 700 level.

Dr. J., however, feels that President Obama picked the wrong poster child to praise as a rehabilitation success story given the vast number of people who found Mr. Vick’s crime repulsive and took umbrage at his signing, including the professional left. As Dr. J. has said before, President Obama probably picked this moment to give the right yet another chance for their heads to explode over something silly and for the left to have to hypocritically zip their lips about because we needed something Obamaesque to talk about while he vacations in Maui.

Best,

Dr. J.
Royal Surgeon to the Gormogons

The Czar was speaking about this yesterday, and thanks Dr. J for finding this totally unreported story. Anytime the mainstream media fails to beat you over the head with this kind of story, you can bet it’s because they realize what a screw up he is. But it isn’t really—it is purely another example how sociopathic our commander-in-plastic-bubble is. He really has no idea how repugnant a character like Michael Vick remains in most people’s eyes. And while Vick has apparently found some sort of Jesus in football, most people are skeptical he has truly reformed. It takes time. And the President simply shows that (a) he doesn’t understand how horrific a human Vick proved himself to be and (b) assumes our attention span is short enough to forgive him. In other words, the President is completely dorky in his inability to follow popular culture but thinks we are too stupid to care.

And thank goodness the mainstream media realizes he needs their protection from looking like a total jackass.

Meantime, DT writes in about the growing foreign affairs problem with the Ivory Coast.

Shame on those long-term unemployed! They’re so lazy they’re forcing the Bureau of Labor Statistics to redefine “Long-term unemployment!” Imagine the stress they’re putting on those poor bureaucrats!

Well, the Czar is not surprised. After all, the definition of recession changed under Clinton to two consecutive quarters to make the Bush 41 recession look worse (a move that Kerry copied in 2004 to make the short downturn in 2000 a Republican recession, and that Obama jumped on in 2008 to make the 2008 housing crisis a full-blown recession—even though the genuine recession began at his inauguration).

But let us be fair: practically every president has been accused of changing the Bureau of Labor Statistics’ definitions for unemployment. Reagan has been slammed for it (oddly more now than when he was president in 1982) for including the military among the employed—and while they should be included, the criticism is that it suddenly reduced his overall unemployment figures without having done anything more than use a pen. Similarly, the BLS under Clinton added new classifications into the mix to cause apparent lowering of “discouraged workers’” unemployment numbers.

Keep watching the skies, DT. In 2013, a new president will be accused of changing the definitions once again. And again. And again. Sorta makes you wonder if the folks at the BLS might be the problem.

Movie Review: Tron 2 - Legacy

Yes, I went and saw Tron 2 over the Christmas break.  As a kid, I thought the original Tron, while campy and cheesy, had a certain cool element to it - at least in terms of Science Fiction entertainment.  It was the first movie depiction of a "world" inside computers, electronics, etc.  The arcade video games based on the movie (I knew of two: Tron, which had four "mini games" - Grid Bugs, Lightcycles, Tanks, and MCP and Discs of Tron, both of which I enjoyed playing).  But it was cheesy and campy and outside of some childhood, geeky nostalgia, I wasn't overly excited about Tron 2.

The movie was ok.  I saw it in IMAX 3D and the big screen definitely made the special effects much more impressive.  In fact, the special effects and the small nuances for the "digital world" feel were well done.  The plot and dialogue were average and at times the techno-dance music drowned out the voices or the synthesized voices.  The various action scenes were the real hits - a multi-level lightcycle battle, disc combat and a dogfight sequence.  I have to say, though, that the combination of the seat rumbling techno beat, theater chairs that came up just below the neck, the 3D glasses and the IMAX screen really had been dizzy and close to a headache afterwards. 

The movie had some obligatory Hollywood liberal digs in it: global warming, war in the Middle East, strive for peace.  But at the same time, it was filled with conflicting dialogue and messages.  Case in point #1: after a line is dropped bemoaning the state of affairs in the "real world", including global warming and war in the Middle East, Jeff Daniel's* character, Kevin Flynn, makes the point that the point of this "digital world" was to have a perfect world without all of that.  However, in the end, the character recognizes that perfection cannot be achieved and our world, while imperfect, is our world.  The Kevin Flynn character has further conflicting aspects.  While largely depicted as this zen master (he frequently sits cross legged meditating), his world includes some violent combat "games" and towards the end during the dogfight sequence, revels in an enemy's head being blown off (or "de-res'd"). 

Maybe I'm digging into this too much - I tend to enjoy escaping into movies and look for the positive enjoyment side of my $15.  So, in conclusion, it's worth seeing in the theaters if you enjoy the geeky, science fiction action movies or have a nostalgic tie to the original.

* Post note: well it took a few hours, but one of the faithful wrote in spotting my nuance joke. Yes, I know it's Jeff Bridges and it is comical how he gets confused for others.  Anyway, good, catch, J.T.!

There Are No Coincidences

President Obama signs repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.

Air Force falcon mascot takes off at opening ceremony of Independence Bowl, does not return.

And here the Czar thought the repeal would not obviously affect the military.

Mark Helprin does the full Cassandra

And he’s right. Not that it may matter.

From the president on down through his secretary of defense, the service secretaries, and a cast of generals whose decorations would choke an alpine meadow with color, we are told that further reductions in American military power are warranted and unavoidable. This view is supported by the left, the right that unwisely fears accounting more than war, by most of the press, the academy, and perhaps a majority of Americans, and it is demonstrably and dangerously wrong.

Based upon nothing and ignoring the cautionary example of World War II, we are told that we will never face two major enemies at once. Despite the orders of battle of our potential adversaries and the fact that our response to insurgency has been primarily conventional, we are told that the era of conventional warfare is over. And we are told that we can rest easy because military spending is an accurate index of military power, and we spend as much as the next however many nations combined.

But this takes no account of the nature of our commitments, the fading contributions of our allies, geography, this nation's size and that of its economy, conscription or its absence, purchasing power parity, exchange rate distortions, the military trajectories of our rivals individually or in combination, and the masking effects of off-budget outlays and unreported expenditures.

[…]

The strange, suicidal conviction now fashionable among the elite is that the customary vast reserves of power with which America maneuvers in the international system and, in extremis, wields in its defense, have become irrelevant to security and detrimental to the economy. All across the country, children are growing up who, in the fire next time, may pay for this prejudice with their lives. For a nation that has lost the unapologetic drive to defend itself cannot escape the consequences no matter how deft its self-deceptions or the extent to which, in contradiction of history and fact, error is ratified by common belief.

What argument, what savings, what economy can possibly offset the costs and heartbreak of a war undeterred or a war lost?

Read the rest at the WSJ.

An Open Letter to C.A.P.E. Catholics

One of our favs, Dr. J, writes in with some holiday wishes:

Dear Gormogon's,

Dr. J. wishes all of you a Merry Christmas and a Happy, Healthy New Year.

Best,
Dr. J.

We wish the Royal Surgeon and his extended family all the best of the Christmas season and a safe and prosperous New Year.

Now that that's out of the way, Dr. J., in the true spirit of Catholic Charity and Love has an Open Letter to the C.A.P.E. Catholics*:

Dear C.A.P.E. Catholics*,

The Catholic Church welcomes you into its warm embrace this Christmas Season.

Dr. J., who always arrives at Mass about 10 minutes before it begins is appreciative that he had the privilege of standing in the back and holding his 4 year old son the entire service because it allowed him the opportunity to warmly welcome the alien into his midst for the Christmas Service.

Dr. J. would like to suggest to his C.A.P.E. Catholic brethren to come back for a visit during ANY of the 33 weeks or Ordinary Time. There is ample seating for all and the priest wears some snazzy green duds. During the 6 weeks of Lent and for 3 weeks of Advent the priest will be wearing some pimptastic purple robes. The Rose colored robes from 2 weeks ago, fantabulous! (GorT note: the rose color robes during Advent are optional, our parish opted not to use them...but they are seen during Lent frequently - almost more so than the purple ones.  Don't forget we sometimes get red robes too).

In addition if you come during a different week of the year, you might even get to hear some different readings than the ones you hear every year at Christmas.

Warmest Regards,

Dr. J.
Royal Surgeon to the Gormogons

* C.A.P.E. Catholics are the ones that attend mass on Christmas, Ash Wednesday, Palm Sunday and/or Easter

 Dr. J is right on the mark - while we enjoying seeing you at these festive Holy Days, it would be equally as pleasing to see you across the pews throughout the year.  Maybe join us on the 3rd of February when many parishes bless your throats on St. Blaise's feast day (or the Sunday nearest) with crossed candles (one of GorT's and his family's favorites).  The variety of music is an additional pull unless it gets dragged down by the choirmasters that 'Puter refers to occasionally here.  The Volgi goes nuts on the 7th of June on St. Gottleschalk's feast day.

Seriously, though: a little prayer goes a long way.  It has touched our extended family this past year and I hope and pray that God touches all of your lives, dear readers.

Kinecting With the Family

The Czar has spent a good portion of a snowy Christmas weekend watching the family play with a Kinect for XBox 360. Does it live up to the hype? Perhaps. It certainly is a different way to play a game.

By coincidence, the kids and the Царица alike have played with the latest generation Wii yesterday, spending hours with that system. So comparing the two systems is fairly fresh in the Czar’s head. It isn’t close.

No, don’t get ticked—the Wii is an awesome concept, and it is not about to go anywhere soon for a very good reason why which we will get to later.

The Kinect is this small, black robotic camera that you place at the base of your flat panel display, and plug it into (a) power and (b) the USB port on the back of the Xbox. It takes it from there. And basically, what you do, the Xbox guy does. Raise your hand, it raises its hand. Lift your leg, cross your arms, twist your head, and yes, the Kinect avatar matches it. To select a button or option, put your palm over it, and a little timer begins ticking. If you continue to hold your hand there for five seconds, it selects it; otherwise, it deselects the option.

Here is what we like:

• It recognizes people. When one kid is playing, it adapts for his physical size. When the Царица or the other kid gets up, it not only readapts for the size, but it changes the avatar and player profile automatically. So Царица gets the points she earns, and each of the boys gets to keep his points.



• It recognizes people...really. When Царица gets back up to take a turn, even if she is technically out of turn, the game senses this and automatically switches to her. And it gets it right. It is sensitive enough to discern the differences between the boys.



• The kinesthetic recognition is astonishing. With only the slightest delay, it really is smart enough to figure out when you are throwing overhand or underhand, spinning, leaning forward, or whatever. As a result, playing games is a lot of fun. In fact, unlike the Wii, you cannot cheat. See, with the Wii, all you have to do is move the Wii-mote. You can pretty much sit on the couch, and by careful movements of the Wii-mote, play a game. With those dance contest games—where you are expected to mimic the movements of on-screen dancers, really all you need to do is move the right hand correctly, and screw the rest. The experienced Wii players are able to do this and cheat the game, racking up great points without doing all the work. Not so on the Kinect: it literally sees you and knows if your right ankle is bent or not.



• The included game contains a lengthy variety of physical challenges that really shows off the game, but in a manner that is addictive. The family has been stuck down there since the end of the Bears-Jets game, and they are still at it. It sure is interesting to watch them, like a bunch of manic Tai Chi addicts trying to accomplish a whole day of exercise in a few frenetic movements. And to really make you feel small, the game takes little photographs of you doing what it presumes could be a silly pose or facial expression, and displays your split-second poses at the end of each level. And yeah, it is very smart about making you look goofy...but not in an insulting way, but in a way that immediately cuts down the more aggressive Type-A personalities. The Czar won’t get near it for this reason.

But fair is fair. There are some downsides:

• Whatever the box says about space requirements is a load of crap. We provided a space for it in front of the flat panel that was well cleared out, and over the minimum space requirements. And the Kinect still insists you are too far left, right, or too close. This thing wants a freaking warehouse of space. A simple and quite fascinating calibration tool allows you to fine tune your actual playing space, and while that helps a little bit, we still cannot find a space large enough in our already spacious family room to make this sumbitch happy. A lot of tweaking is still required, but be forewarned: whatever space you plan to give your Kinect won’t be enough. Lebensraum.



• There are entirely too many manuals for this thing. Here is a hint: provide one. Take the three you now have, and pull the individual requirements out from each, and condense them into one multi-lingual card. One manual tells you how to connect the cables and position the box. Another tells you how to position the box but also how to connect some options. Another tells you how to use the setup software that the other two never mention. Now, truth be told, this was a simple thing to set up. But nothing suggests the opposite than three manuals that each leave out something interesting the other two include. Bad job, Microsoft.



• The sensor has no sweet spot. You either move too fast or too slow when selecting options. A gentle motion works well for this screen, but then a wild, wide gesturing sweep of the hand is required for the next. This is a new technology, so this makes sense, but eventually programmers need to hit some sort of standard. This, by the way, is very frustrating for the kids who have a hard time hitting the button floating on the screen.



• The game simply likes adults better than kids, and that is that. The boys are having a great time with it, but their smaller frames and faster overall motion result in missed hits and jumps and whatnot. But once an adult stands up, wow, it recognizes the size right away and accuracy improves a great deal. This is probably fixable in a patch, but for right now, the kids give a little “Awww...” when they jump up to swat an incoming projectile and fall well short, or reach down to scoop up a ball and their screen avatar misses it completely.



• The game lacks a real physical interface, and this is why Wii fans should rejoice. With no controller in the hand, there is no way the Kinect—in its present state—will be able to handle first-person shooter type games like Halo or Medal of Honor. There is no weapon to shoot. No way to reload weapons or change weapons. And be honest—this was a major reason for game consoles’ collective success. No doubt a spate of handheld wireless controllers will be incorporated (including any of the existing ones for the XBox 360) for a wild and weird mix of physical motions as well as point and shoot controls; for now, you are limited to running and jumping and kicking and throwing.

One last word on the Kinect: you have no doubt seen the commercials for Kinectimals, a game pitched at younger kids in which you share a series of adventures with baby animals (a tiger cub, a black panther cub, leopard, lion, and cheetah cubs, and so on). The commercial does not do this justice. What an incredible concept for a game.

Yes, what you heard is true: if you slap your knees, the little guy runs up to you. If you put your hands out to the side, he stands to attention. Throw your arms up, and he stands up on his hind legs. Spin, and he spins. Lay down, and he plays dead. And so on. Or, you can speak out the commands—“Sit down!” “Sit!” “Jump!”—and so on. And the little cub does it. And the kid and the cub go off to explore the island and solve a mystery as to what became of an old pirate. Throw balls, brush the cub, and pet him, and the little animal is incredibly happy. He does what the kid does, and this is engaging enough.

But watching a real five-year-old Царевич play this is not covered in the commercials at all. Watching him almost cry because the little cub is so darned cute, and doing whatever the kid wants to do without question...and seeing that choked-up kid break into hysterical laughter when the little cub tumbles down a hill or gets distracted by a nearby running bunny—that is something indescribably special. He gets to name the cub, it learns his voice, and watches him intently to see what to do next. This puts a little kid entirely in charge of a masterful piece of software programming. This is totally gaming on a whole new level. The little Царевич and his cheetah cub “Ruffy” never have to worry about fighting level bosses, unlocking weapons, fending off aerial attacks, or taking down sentries from behind—they just run through the trails together, playing ball, climbing hills, and rolling down them.

Sound like an unlikely game to hold a kid’s attention for hours? Yes, we thought so too, until we watched. Sheer genius.

Really?

Follow this one:

1.  An iTouch requires iTunes version 10.x or better (which, from the store displays isn't readily apparent)
2.  iTunes 10.x on PowerPC-based Mac requires the "Snow Leopard" version of the Mac OS.  (Side comment: get off the cutesy names - really, how many regular people refer to versions as "Snow Leopard", "Tiger", "Spotted Peacock" ?).  "Snow Leopard" turns out to be version 10.6 which by many is a minor revision number upgrade to 10.5 ("Leopard" - at least name it something different, more than an adjective prefix.  However, Apple considers 10.4 to 10.5 or 10.5 to 10.6 a major revision release.  Convention in the software industry is XX.YY.ZZ where X is a major revision number, Y is a minor revision number and Z is a patch revision number).
3.  At this point, to upgrade from "Tiger" (10.4) to "Snow Leopard" (10.6), one has to buy the Mac Box Set ($129)*
4.  "Snow Leopard" was a release aimed at improving performance and speed and is generally reported to require more memory.  Roughly, $50 per Gig of memory, provided you have space.

So the total cost of trying to get an iTouch and sync it to your PowerMac = $299 for the iTouch plus taxes plus $129 and the time and effort required to upgrade your Mac OS (which not all reports are smooth sailing).

Result, said iTouch is now synced to a Windows Vista machine.  Cost = $299 for the iTouch plus taxes.  No additional effort or costs.

Conclusion, the old battle cry of the Apple faithful about device drivers and how easy the Mac is has turned around and bit them with the slight nuance that Apple device drivers equals Apple Operating System.

Oh, and if you think I'm alone in this, just surf on some of the Apple support forums.


* - on a side note, I do realize that some of this is due to the cost of letting software and operating systems get out of date.  However, one should note that while iTunes 10.x will not install on an Apple OS that is 5½ years old (Tiger was released on April 29, 2005), it runs on Microsoft Windows XP Service Pack 2.  This is an operating system that is just over 9 years old (released October 25, 2001) with free service packs.

GorT's Christmas Morn

A nice, slow and relaxing morning in GorT's house after midnight Mass.  We had some flurries (no accumulation).  Presents are open, stockings emptied...legos are being built, mini fashion shows going on and a little Wii gaming (by the way, "Just Dance 2" is a serious work out).  Merry Christmas To All!

Christmas Eve, Chez 'Puter

Spoilers Ahead!

Well, forget WikiLeaks. The Czar has had it with all you people whispering these little movie spoiler secrets back and forth. All right, here goes. The Czar is now going to spill on all those little movie tidbits people have been whispering about.

• Darth Vader is Luke’s father.



• Yeah, Bruce Willis is dead, which is how the kid sees him but neither the mom nor his wife ever interacts with him.



• Right, the girlfriend is actually a guy.



• Charlton Heston is actually on a post-nuclear war Earth.



• Preacher is actually a ghost sent by God to avenge the death of Megan’s dog.



• The whole movie was one of John Nash’s hallucinations.



• Yes, Willie Wonka is a cannibal.



• Schindler is shocked when the Nazis win World War II.



• Luca Brasi could not be killed because he was an alien.



• Norman Bates’ entire adventure takes place in his mind in the split second before he is hanged at Owl Creek Bridge.



• Zack Mayo does have somewhere else to go; he is simply a pathological liar.



• Popeye Doyle and Buddy Russo are secretly married, but cannot hide their feelings from the NYPD.



• Butch and Sundance are actually on a pilgrimage to the shrine of Thomas à Becket, relating the story as they go to pass the time.

There. Ruined ‘em all for ya.

After Shocks

Gents (and ‘Puter),

I wish you all a warm Merry Christmas* and a happy new year. Thanks for providing me with another year of insightful commentary, witty humor, and assorted buffoonery.

XOXO,

DT

*yes, I realize that the Czar once dictated, “every idiot who goes about with a 'Merry Christmas' on his lips should be boiled with his own pudding, and buried with a stake of holly through his heart.”. If I had a heart I’d be concerned.

The Czar swears he remembers nothing about such a quote. But it does, truth be told, sound like him—particularly the stake in the heart.

XOXO, we assume, is short for the binary representation 01011000 01001111 01011000 01001111, which sums up to 16. In Base 16, that results in 58 4F 58 4F, which sums up to 14E, or the number 334. These digits add up to 10, which is of course in binary equals 2. Since the Roman numeral for 10 is X, and we have two of them, we conclude XX times ten would be a hypothetical X0X0, making the recursive nature of the joke quite amusing.

Merry Christmas. We have great stuff coming in 2011, just as soon as we think of something witty and clever. Perhaps 2011 will be the year the Mandarin and Volgi both post something in the same month.

Meanwhile, erc is back to frighten you with this:

Your Czarness:

Please see the following solar still.

Manufactured to ISO 9002
NATO Stock no. 4610-66-144-2646

Energy Free! Aquamate Inflatable Solar Stills are light, compact, float and very easy to use. They utilize solar radiation to distill and collect pure drinking water from sea or impure water. The still will produce 500 to 2000 ccs (1 to 4 pints) of water per day and has been used by military and civilian services throughout the world for the past 40 years. Packs neatly away to 26 x 23 x 7cm. At a fraction of the cost of a mechanical or electrical unit this is an ideal addition to the grab bag for any ocean going yachtsman.

I don't know if the US armed forces still buys these things, but during the Viet Nam era, they were standard equipment on some aircraft and some patrol boats.

I think in the tropics the they would probably yield about a quart and a half a day. I never had to use one, though, so no personal experience. The ones back then were not floating models but had either a crushable or foldable pan or bucket to catch the water. Again, in the tropics, not a lot of difference in the length of the days and nights, but pretty warm temperatures and pretty high humidity. These things mostly work on infrared, so clouds aren't a huge deal.

I think that actually the main source of fresh water on the stereotypical "tropical island" might be (green) coconuts and fish. Note that raw marine fish is not “salty,” which is a pretty good trick for a critter that lives in a saline solution. Same with shellfish.

Now, on a quart and a half a day, two people wouldn't want to be real active, so a single still wouldn't be enough. But, I guess it would be better than nothing?

Anyway, thank you for the Earhart post. One of the great stories, like the Marie Celeste and of the Roanoke Colony. But the Gormogons probably have the answers to those also, somewhere in the Castle. / erc

Sheesh. Well, there goes the surprise for 2011. Yes, we know more about those than we care to admit. And if Ned Croatoan is reading this, you know what you did. Nevertheless, we will probably get around to explaining our involvement in those events soon enough. Volgi? Your thoughts?

A pre-made solar still is a convenient thing to have, if you conveniently happen to have one. Most of the survivalists the Czar drinks with, though, have no plans to fit this into their Altoid can survival kit. They simply assume they can make one in the field with a bit of polypropylene and some sticks, neither of which they carry. The Czar says: good freaking luck.

Other than that, we agree with your assessment that a pint of fresh water a day is better than nothing. But yes, you can obtain considerable supplies of fresh water from local flora and fauna than you will. Solar stills are ideal after you have procured several sources of drinking water and are in no danger of dehydration. Conversely, a portable solar still like you have here is way better on a life raft in the middle of the ocean, where you have little flora or fauna.

Also, regarding your comment about raw marine life not being salty, you may be surprised to know that raw human flesh is surprisingly salty, and indeed blood and sea water share many curious properties...almost the opposite of marine life, eh?

The Cost of Christmas

Every year since 1984, PNC Financial Services has compiled the "Christmas Price Index" (CPI).  It measures the cost of each group* of items in the Christmas carol, "The Twelve Days of Christmas" (a total of 78 items).  They have a nice interactive site that leads you through the prices and changes to the prices.  They also compile what they call the "True Cost of Christmas" which follows the exact instructions in the song for a total of 364 items.  The items are defined as:

• The pear tree comes from a local Philadelphia nursery
• The partridge, turtle dove, and French hen prices are determined by the Cincinnati Zoo and Botanical Garden
• The price of a canary at Petco is used for the calling [sic] bird, though the price of a blackbird (colly bird) would be more in tune with the song
• Gordon Jewelers sets the cost of the gold rings, though the gold rings of the song actually refer to ring-necked pheasants
• The National Aviary in Pittsburgh sets prices for swans and geese
• The maids are assumed to be unskilled laborers earning the Federal Minimum Wage
• A Philadelphia dance company provides estimates for the salary of "ladies dancing"
• The Philadelphia Ballet estimates the salary for the "leaping lords"
• The going-rate for drummers and pipers is that of a Pennsylvania musicians' union

This year (2010), the CPI rose 9.2% to $23,439.38 and the "Total Cost of Christmas" comes in at almost $100K ($96,824.29).  If one follows the notion that this gives the giver the ability to give a gift for every day of the year minus Christmas, that comes to $266 per day.  For a nominal eight-hour work day (or 40-hour work week) that is $33.34 per hour - as a cost.  If we take the latest data available from the Bureau of Labor Statistics and apply this as a "Miscellaneous" cost (out of the categories such as Housing, Transportation, Tobacco, Food/Dining, etc.) at 1.6% of the average expenditure of Americans, this means the total household budget for this generous giver is $6,051,518.  Given the average American spent 78.6% of their income (some on credit), the household income for this individual is around $7,699,132.  They nominally contributed around $2,694,696 towards federal taxes. 

Merry Christmas.

Dr. KNJ on Second Degree Polynomial Equations

Oh most eminent and outrageous one—

Concerning quadratic equations and their relation to accelerating objects: the comment "Quadratic equations are necessary for an understanding of acceleration" should more accurately have read, "Quadratic equations are necessary for an understanding of the movement of accelerating objects."

To wit: If an object begins at position r₀ (furlongs) with velocity v₀ (furlongs per fortnight) at time t=0 (you remember that time, right?) and is accelerating at a (furlongs per fortnight per fortnight), then its position r(t) (furlongs) at any time t (fortnights) is given by

r(t) =(a/2) t² + v₀ t + r₀

which is noticeably quadratic in nature. So, for example, if one wishes to ascertain when said object will be at a desired target position, one must either solve a quadratic equation or else get out a stopwatch, vacuum column, calibrated air gun and Justin Bieber target and whack away at it. Dr. KNJ takes no position as to which of these two approaches would yield the most intrinsic satisfaction.

One hesitates, of course, to presume to correct the dread and awful Czar, even in third-person mode, but since truly the Czar is not being corrected here, but some random commenter on another (i.e. non-Gormogonian) website, one's hesitation may perhaps be well and truly held in temporary abeyance.

Temporarily failing to hesitate,
—Dr. KNJ,
Royal Mathematican to the Gormogons

Well, there you have it. Dr. KNJ writes in with a refreshingly enjoyable piece on mathematics. Ya don’t get too many of those. Well, the Czar doesn’t. Anyway, as the Royal Mathematician, Dr. KNJ should not be too concerned with upsetting the Czar even with a full-on correction. It has been since about 1858 that the Czar cleaved the skulls of some math guys, but that’s because a single mathematician is kind of interesting, but two or more in a room gets instantly irritating. Like having more than one economist around, it’s a bad idea.

Frankly, the Czar zoomed in on the thing about hitting Justin Bieber, and quite frankly didn’t read anything else. In fact, the Czar is going to go back and read that again!

What's On Your Mind?

Hey, Czar. Nice bit on the metric system. I get why the metric guys go with zero for freezing, and 100 for boiling. But what's up with Fahrenheit? If water freezes at 32, what happens at 0 degrees Fahrenheit? And why is one degree only one degree?

Yeah, well, the Czar briefly met Dan the Man Fahrenheit. No, nothing spectacular—it was in a buffet line at a wedding. We merely exchanged brief pleasantries because (a) Danny had not yet worked out his temperature system and (b) the Czar was totally ass-faced on Kräuterlikör.

Anyway, the Czar admits he had to look this up, and also admits this is something you could easily have done. Dan, you see, was crazy about creating a temperature scale with 0° at pretty much rock bottom, temperature-wise. Except, back then, about the coldest thing he could reliably get to measure was brine water. Guess at what temperature brine tends to freeze at? 0°, as it turned out...because he decided that would be zero. Now, for the temperature gradations. Well, like Andy Celsius, he wanted to go with 100 degrees as well. But instead of the (ahem) more obvious choice of boiling water, Dan stuck the thermometer in his wife’s armpit (he says). Or in her mouth. Probably armpit, then mouth. Anyway, he decided that average human body temperature is 100° F.

Except that it isn’t. You know that it’s 98.6°. So what happened there? You guessed it—he effed up his original estimate of the temperature brine freezes at by 1.4°. So rather than move 0 up to 1.4, they simply moved 100 down to 98.6. Now, the Czar is not sure who made the bonehead move of shifting a common, familiar number like 100 down, rather than mess with the evidently sacred pickle brine freezing point value, but it was probably a German. And most Germans won’t mess with pickles. That’s serious stuff.*

Fascinating. Czar, can you explain what possible value quadratic equations have? I remember having to go through these things in high school, and I never understood them.

Oh boy, that’s a delightful one to answer.

And the answer is no. Quadratic equations serve no practical value. The Czar has used basic arithmetic, Euclidian and non-Euclidian geometry, trigonometry, calculus, and even transfinite math to solve all sorts of real-world problems, but to certainly-not-your surprise, quadratic equations have never come up in real life.

So the Czar went looking. Read this list of so-called real-world applications, and wonder how you ever solved some of these problems without them. Yes, you previously have worked too hard trying to solve which of several bowls was most paraboloid in shape.

Even a list of 101 uses for quadratic equations comes up a bit short. Perhaps the author can come up with a quadratic equation to explain why his list is short by about 96. The Czar enjoys the comment “Quadratic equations are necessary for an understanding of acceleration.” Hey yeah? A vehicle starts at one speed, and within a given time, winds up at a second speed. Strangely, there is a stunning lack of anything...dunno...quadratic about that explanation. And the ability to measure a ball in flight is apparently impossible to predict without quadratic equations. The next time the Czar bumps into Jason Bay, he will remember to ask which of the quadratic equations he prefers to glove a routine can of corn.

Over here, Dr. Ian bravely explains that quadratic equations are necessary for shooting a refrigerator 800 yards out with a pistol. The Czar feels obliged to mention that the math Dr. Ian proceeds to use might be of use to shoot a non-moving refrigerator, because several minutes of computation will result in most livelier targets trotting off to safety. The Czar might also add that no quadratic equation in the world will allow a pistol to hit anything besides dirt at 800 yards. On the other hand, if you had a long barrelled rifle (say a nice M24), your scope should be able to plug a refrigerator at 800 meters easily with breath control, a steady trigger pull, and very little math.

Sure, sure, people cough up all sorts of real world examples that are bizarre and arcane, but day-to-day living has found no shortage of practical and accurate shortcuts to using them. Yeah, the Czar has done rocket science. Now, please don’t bother writing in with more: “But Czar, you can use them to calculate modal dispersion in optical fiber VCSELs!” The Czar bets your neighbor doesn’t do that, either, for fun. Nor should you.

Tell the truth Czar. What is the worst liquor you ever had?

You know, the Czar can find good in just about any liquor there is. But he has to say that absinthe is absolutely lousy. Sure, he has tried the original stuff before it was banned, but you kids are too young to remember that. The new stuff, however, is quite safe. And tastes like lizard semen, one expects. It merits a mention in Revelation, for example, for its propensity to kill one third of all humans.

But speaking of wormwood, the Czar is intrigued by what many experts consider the worst liquor in the world. If you can, get yourself a shot of malört. Seems it is a type of wormwood schnapps. The Czar has yet to try it, but is intrigued by some of the descriptions out there. Samplers have reported it tastes like ear wax and turpentine. Another likened it to a liquid tire fire. Evidently, people drink it solely because it tastes so bad: they want to see how bad it is. And the handful of bars that carry it are happy to sell it at ridiculously low prices. Seems that malört is a common penalty shot: you lose a bet, you drink the malört.

An acquaintance of the Czar tried it recently, and said that the taste is easily as bad as we have heard and more. Apparently, it tastes as if a hobo attempted to make his own booze out of kerosene and pine tar, and promptly defecated the result into a shot glass. You know, the Czar is no fan of schnapps to begin with: as many of you know, schnapps comes from the German word Schnäpse, which means “things you never mean to ingest.” Basically, schnapps is every candy flavor you ever hated turned into a liquor. Butterscotch? There’s a schnapps for that. Root beer barrels? There’s a schnapps for that, as well. Licorice? You guessed it. The Czar loathes circus peanuts, too, and he expects to find a schnapps capturing that delicacy, should he bother to look. So now you take wormwood, which the Czar made quite clear he despises in absinthe, and make a schnapps out of it. And behold. You have malört.

See what the Volgi misses by only drinking good ports? On the other hand, the Czar is sure that ‘Puter is already googling to see where he can get a bottle of malört.

*The Czar is curious about the numerous and coincidental references to Germans in this post. Probably a code thing for you to figure out.

Cute

There's a Grouch in the Mail Today

Your Czarness:

FHIW: Here's the current satellite image of Nikumauroro. Long way from anywhere. Fresh water would have been the problem. No solar stills in those days, although the Mandarin probably already had one. / erc

No doubt Volgi would argue it’s Gardener Atoll, and it’s always been Gardener Atoll, and what ever this Nikumomo nonsense is, it can go to hell because it’s Gardener Atoll. But the Czar will let him make that comment.

Solar still? Ever build one? Fact is, the solar still—long advocated by survival folks who spend little time testing their skills—is one of the best ways to die of dehydration. You will lose more water building one through sweat than you will recapture making one. No kidding. Boiling and capturing condensed steam—which is what appears they tried—is much smarter. But, no, erc is right: the Mandarin is working on a solar still, but only as a way to get vodka out of pure sunlight. That would awesome.

DT writes in:

Oh Wise and Terrible Czar, etc. etc..

I heard this morning that the EEOC is suing the Kaplan test prep company for discrimination. They’re not asserting that Kaplan didn’t hire people because of their ethnicity – nay, Kaplan prides itself as a diverse company. The accusation is that they were discriminating against minorities by using credit rating as a qualifier for people applying for financial positions. Using credit history as a criterion for employment isn’t illegal, but the EEOC claims that it is in Kaplan’s case because minorities have worse credit ratings, and is thus racial discrimination.

What the hell, great Czar, is the world coming to? Should banks be forced to hire bank robbers for the same reason?

You know, this is the same thing that a group sued Chrysler Financial for a ways back: Chrysler Financial was ipso facto denying loans to black people because of their anonymous credit ratings. Evidently, their argument was that a financial lending giant should not take credit rating into account when establishing loan risk. And, as you know, similar arguments go back to the Carter administration for housing loans, the logic of which ultimately killed the housing market in 2008. Wanna bet it is, distantly, the same group of folks behind this?

Bottom line is this: discrimination cannot be accidental; there must be intent. And if you are using third-party credit history to discriminate employee risk, and that credit history or your pre-screening process cannot establish skin color, then there is no case. A judge will need to see that Kaplan knowingly used credit history to establish racial identity and used that information to deny applicants otherwise qualified for work based on their race...and that is a pretty tough thing to prove since credit histories (at least the ones we have seen) do not establish racial identity at all. Could you figure it out? Possibly, based perhaps on name or address—but there are thousands of easier ways to determine this without looking at credit history.

Conversely, credit history is a very good indicator of employee risk: you get a fairly accurate reporting of prior employment (that the credit holder cannot redact or withhold as he or she can on a résumé), and a bad credit history is often coupled with employees who have a potential to steal or mismanage company assets. In short, there is a valid reason for an employer, running a background check, to look at credit histories.

Remember, friends, that you can sue anybody for just about anything. Whether a judge decides the case has merit, though, is another matter. And surprisingly, even in an age when manic trial lawyers are making record profits, most of these bizarre cases get struck down. Unfortunately, even this nonsense still wastes a lot of time and dollars.

Obama Making a Comeback? Really? Really?

News to us. He takes one little uptick in the polls, and suddenly a couple of news stories begin circulating that he is making a comeback.

Ya know, Nixon used to do something. Whenever he felt his popularity was slipping (which was often), he would announce some sort of effort by himself, or insert his approval of some arcane subcommittee’s popular findings, into a press release. As soon as they got a bite, they would release another press release saying how confident he was that the American people were acknowledging his comeback.

So when President Obama gets punched in the gut by election results, and his popularity slides into a hole (metaphors mixed for free, today only), the Czar raises an overly furry eybrow when suddenly seemingly unrelated news outlets discuss his apparent “comeback.” Amateurs.

Volginization

Şɵ ʛøɾŤ שׂɾɨʈēʂ ʊק ʈħɨʂ ɳēשׂ קɨēçē øʄ ʂøʄʈשׂăɾē ħē ɕăɭɭʂ ɤøɭğɨɳɨʑēɾ, שׂħɨçħ ʈɾăɳʂʄøɾɱʂ ўøʊɾ ʈēϰʈ ʈɵ ɭøøк ɭɨкē ʂøɱēʈħɨɳğ ʈħē ɤøɭğɨ ɱɨğħʈ ħăɤē שׂɾɨʈʈēɳ. Ťħē ʂøʄʈשׂăɾē ɨʂ קɾēʈʈў ɳēăʈ; ʈħē ɕʑăɾ ɾăɳ ɨʈ ħēɾē, ăɳɖ ɨʈ ɭøøкʂ קɾēʈʈў ğøøɖ.

Ťħēɾē ɨʂ ăɭʂɵ ăɳøʈħēɾ øקʈɨøɳ, שׂħɨçħ ʛøɾŤ ɕăɭɭʂ “ɤēɾɓăɭɨʑăʈɨøɳ ɱøɖē.” ɨʈ ʈăкēʂ ўøʊɾ øɾɖɨɳăɾў ɤøçăɓʊɭăɾў ăɳɖ ēϰקăɳɖʂ ɨʈ ʈɵ ɱăʈçħ ɤøɭğɨ’ʂ, ʂɵ ўøʊ שׂɨɳɖ ʊק שׂɨʈħ שׂøɾɖʂ ɭɨкē “ɨăʈɾøğēɳɨç”, “ʂʊɓēɾɨç”, ăɳɖ “øɳʈøɭøğɨçăɭ”. שׂē ēɭēçʈēɖ ɳøʈ ʈɵ ʊʂē ɨʈ ħēɾē.

שׂɨʈħ ăɳў ɭʊçк, ʂɨɳçē ɨʈ øɓɤɨøʊʂɭў שׂøɾкʂ, ʛøɾŤ ɕăɳ ʂēɭɭ ɨʈ ɔɨʂçɵ øɾ ɱɨçɾøʂøʄʈ ʄøɾ ă ɕøøɭ ɕøʊקɭē ɱɨɭɭɨøɳ.

In the Middle of an Island

Scientists at the University of Oklahoma are investigating whether bone fragments found on a deserted South Pacific island might in fact be those of Amelia Earhart. Heck, why bother investigating? The press has already decided they are, and that ought to be good enough.

Amazing, really, the amount of careful wording and cautionary explanations the scientists are giving, with one even predicting people will be disappointed if the bones turn out to be from some turtle.

Among the clues:

• Bottles found with heat damage, indicating someone boiled water in them.



• Makeup and hand lotion found from the 1930s.



• Fish bones prepared in a way that suggests American cooking techniques.



• A hat that said “A. Earhart.”



• A cigar box inscribed “Property of Fred Noonan, who was Amelia’s navigator, but I also shared co-piloting duties that history probably will not record.”



• A colony of about 50 inbred people, all named Fred or Amelia, who bear a striking resemblance to the castaways.



• A partially wrecked Lockheed Electra plane, converted into a comfortable two bedroom shelter, including working lavatory, shower with hot water, and galley kitchen, with registry numbers that match Earhart’s plane.

Although scientists are reluctant to confirm any of these findings until expensive tests are done, requiring complex government grants, they have proposed the island be closed off to tourists, and that the island be named Earhart’s Crash Site Island.

Here is the island:


View Larger Map

Reminder

For those of you awake around 1:33am tomorrow morning (21st), there is a lunar eclipse.  Eh, so what, you might say.  Well, it is the first time in 372 years that the lunar eclipse falls on the winter solstice.  Plus there's a bonus for anyone that gets up: the Ursids meteors will be out and more visible with the dimmed moon.  See this link for a chart (towards the bottom) of how visible the eclipse will be in your area.

Don't say that we're not spreading the festive mood by arranging this for you all!

Ross Douthat: To the catacombs!

No, not really. This is a thoughtful piece that deserves your time, though.

But both books come around to a similar argument: this month’s ubiquitous carols and crèches notwithstanding, believing Christians are no longer what they once were — an overwhelming majority in a self-consciously Christian nation. The question is whether they can become a creative and attractive minority in a different sort of culture, where they’re competing not only with rival faiths but with a host of pseudo-Christian spiritualities, and where the idea of a single religious truth seems increasingly passé.

Or to put it another way, Christians need to find a way to thrive in a society that looks less and less like any sort of Christendom — and more and more like the diverse and complicated Roman Empire where their religion had its beginning, 2,000 years ago this week.

Benedict XVI has said something very similar. It‘s a sobering possibility to ponder this Advent…

The Grift That Keeps On Giving

Sssh. Do not tell. The Czar has completed his Christmas shopping for the others. Fortunately, as you know, they do not actually read the Czar’s posts, so we can be quite safe here.

For GorT, the Czar got him one of those Kinect boxes for the Xbox 360. We do not actually have a 360 at the Castle; but GorT wants to attach one to his ocular inputs to see what it sees. You have to remember that GorT is an impressive piece of 51st Century technology; Christmas is a little different in the future. Actually, it is a lot different. Christmas trees are gone, of course, because of the totally unpredicted Global Stabilization of the 22rd Century. Santa has been reduced to a 30-second public service announcement on radio, and the Bible 3.1 podcast is available for download at Starbucks Megamalls. Oddly, though, A Christmas Story still shows 24 hours a day.

For ‘Puter, he just gets the cardboard box the Kinect came in. He’ll stand there for hours in front of it, dancing and wiggling, and trying to get Sleestak’s attention. Of course, it’ll just be a cardboard box. ‘Puter probably won’t even put it near a television.

The Mandarin is tough to shop for. We bought him a Wii last year, and he turned it into an orbiting weapon platform. One does not wish to guess how one uses the DeathChucks that he created for it. But he did get himself a Blu-Ray player, so the Czar was going to get him some Region 51 titles for it. Maybe Toto...Live At the Budokan, Blown Away, Hauptmann Unterwassermensch und die Himmelunkraut von Neptun, Never Been Kissed, and Iron Man 4.

As for the Volgi, he’s getting a book he’s been after for a while: Yumuşak: How the Turks Opted For A Háček Symbol Rather Than An Umlaut Or Cedilla. Bit of a dry read, one fears. 611 pages (not including notes, bibliography, and index). Curiously, it is outselling Olbermann’s by a wide margin on Amazon. The Czar owes him, because the Volgi was nice enough to get us a book last year called Things You Stick Through People. That was an awesome book. Came with a pull-out poster that is still taped to the wall of our Castle cubicle.

You might wonder about Sleestak, who takes an awful lot of crap from us but does a pretty good job of running things at the Castle (including most of the Tcho-Tchos, except the hotel cleaning staff, who report to Mrs. Pestitch). The Czar is getting him a box of those giant hissing cockroaches and a bottle of vişinată. Kind of a gift basket, you know?

Dat Ho gets nothing because he has been beyond bad. The other day, the Czar caught him momentarily looking out a window, doubtless thinking about stealing some of Mandarin’s expensive cufflinks to fence on the streets so he can buy medicine. But Dat has a bad attitude about Christmas anyway. You should see the ridiculous Christmas picture he drew on the inside of his sleeping box—it was a picture of him beating Santa Claus with a hammer! The kid is so goofy—first, he draws Santa with a black beard like the Czar’s, and for some reason he drew Santa wearing our clothing and talking like us. Crazy kid. Ya wonder what goes on in his little head.

Don't forget the offertory hymn “Happy Birthday, Baby Jesus”…

…while the kids bring up the bread, wine, and birthday cake!

From the great Dr. Boli.

DADT repeal

In answer to Dr. J’s question, while the Volgi isn’t strapping on the leather and garters like ’Puter, nor can he rouse himself to great indignation about the repeal. He has two observations, though.

First, it’s curious how DADT quickly went from a pro-gay measure (compared to the status quo ante) to a terrible offense against them, and the way that “hypocrisy” or “forcing them to live a lie” (which our grandparents might just have approvingly called “discretion”—not just about homosexuality, but about a lot of things) was perceived as a terrible injustice trumping the morale and readiness concerns that the combat branches kept expressing. Identity politics has penetrated our culture much more deeply than we realize.

Second, Confucius worries about the way repeal proponents have portrayed it as a costless good. While it may well be a good, nothing is costless. Everything has tradeoffs, even if we can‘t see them. What worries me is that we didn’t even bother looking for them (or perhaps ignored them if the combat-branch opponents mentioned above were presenting them). Moreover, one can reasonably fear that when they crop up, because of the political nature of the decision, they’ll be swept under the rug. Any time Congress passes something that makes your Facebook status feed light up with ejaculations of self-righteous satisfaction, you gotta worry that emotion, not reason is driving the decision.

Still, overall, the Volgi will wait and hope he’ll be allowed to see the evidence, good and bad.

Chain Mail

ERC responds to DT’s letter about California.

Your link to Dr. Hanson’s article was a real downer. I’m a second generation Californian in my mid sixties. “I’ve seen California destroyed by Progress.“ I’m one of those 20-to-100-acre orchardists: used to have more but had to sell because we weren’t “makin’ it.” (We had water, but we had to pump it up about 800 feet.) We have a grove of pistachios coming into production next year over in the Valley, at which time we will try to sell out.

I think that you can learn just about everything you need to know by reading Dr. Hanson, Dr. Sowell, the Belmont Club blog and...The Gormogons! And, generally, you’re more upbeat than those other guys. / erc

Thanks! We find that no matter how dire the crisis, ‘Puter’s overly flatulent ogling of some grade school teacher always makes for a merry accompaniment. Of course, one of the reasons people like coming here is for the intelligence of our readers!

Like here:

Dear Czar,

The repeal of DADT happened during the lame duck session today.

Of all the things on Mr. Reid's agenda, this is the one Dr. J cares least about.

Dr. J. has had the privilege of working in a couple of VA's during his training and even in association with his employ at his current Ivory Tower. To be fair, it is a hospital. The recipients of care are appreciative of getting good care regardless of who it is from. There are a number of veterans that Dr. J. has either taken care of, or worked alongside, who are either are gay or might be.

The reality is that no one seems to care.

I think that we're at the point where the current generation of enlistees probably don't care. Given that every other episode of a dating or reality show on MTV is a gay/lesbian offering, the current youth generation would probably vote for a horse as senator.

I doubt that it would genuinely affect morale much.

When the ship pulls in, to dock, some of the sailors will go hard to port, while the rest will go hard to starboard. I don't think much will happen that is problematic on board that isn't already going on. On the straight side of things, plenty of women have to be shipped back from deployment early due to unplanned pregnancies.

I am curious to the Gormo's thoughts (or lack therof) on this.

I am much more concerned about START.

Best,

Dr. J.

Uh, sure. Easy. The Czar agrees that if the DADT repeal is the worst thing to happen to our military, we do live in fabulous times. Are we really at the point where we can worry about non-combat off-duty activities that involve consenting adults outside of the service? If so, great.

Personally, the Czar would like to see the military a little more preoccupied with the War on Terror.

START aims to reduce nuclear stockpiles. Republicans believe it goes too far, and includes the reduction of defensive missiles. Democrats say that Republicans are just being jerks because this is a major foreign policy initiative for President Obama.

The votes seem to be there for this to pass. And people are right to be concerned. Ultimately, the quantity of nuclear weapons we have is unimportant because the US is never going to use them against an enemy power (even if they use them against us) because each can kill hundreds of thousands of innocent people. You think we would ever want to glass Iran? Or China? The rules of warfare have changed since 1945, and we now realize that nuclear weapons are incredibly counter-productive.

Yet, they remain the ultimate symbols of military power. Seriously, whom would you rather face in a war? A million-plus army of guys with rifles, or a million-plus army of guys with nuclear weapons? Speak as softly as you like, but a hydrogen warhead is a pretty freaking big stick.

No, the real problems with START, as the Czar sees it, are these: (1) The President is, let us be honest, a foreign policy failure. Everything he touches turns to crap—no matter how perfectly a treaty might favor the United States, he would find a way to screw it up badly. (2) Who the hell is asking for this? Russia? No. China? No. Basically, Barack Obama woke up one morning and decided he hated nuclear weapons. So we went unilaterally forward to proposed reducing our weapons. You think Russia or China will say no at this point?

And the Czar is charitable beyond belief to even mention China. This is all some weird 1970s throwback—Barack Obama will personally end the Cold War by making the Soviets reduce their stockpiles! Sheesh—and while he’s at it, how about going after Versailles II, and preventing the Germans from rebuilding their navy?

The psychology on this is weird. Maybe this is how it works: Obama knows he is a total dud as a President; certainly he isn’t the new Ronald Reagan he was supposed to be in 2008. But maybe he can be like Reagan, and get the Soviets Russians to surrender give up some of their weapons follow our lead if we give up some weapons? Except of course, Reagan did more than that—he ended the Cold War. And the Russians, under Putin especially, are awfully good at saying they will reduce weapons without, you know, ever getting around to it.

Democrats: is there anything they can’t do?

Frankly, if the President wanted to impress the hell out of us, drop START and instead commence boxing in the Chinese. Send a strong message that China is not in a position to solidify their recent diplomatic gains. Then, make it very clear to Russia that they are better friends then competitors: that Russia is being very closely watched, and our skin is really thin right now. Then start supporting democracy in Iran, so that the people of Iran know that we got their six, but the next move is up to them.

You know, maybe show some foreign policy ideas that are from 2010, not from 1973.

Hi There!

Hey, the Gormogons are very happy you are here visiting with us today. You all come here literally by the thousands. And many of you probably wonder how real the emails are that we get (see numerous examples below).

Actually, they are all real. We also get a bunch that we do not publish, but we do try to respond to as many as we can.

If you haven’t done so already, drop us a line. Our addresses are to the left. No, your other left. You can say hi to any one of us (pick your favorite), because we are happy to pass on good news or bad to the others as needed.

If you are responding to a specific post, though, it really does help if you email the guy who wrote it. The Czar cannot tell you how many emails he gets for stuff ‘Puter writes, and vice-versa. All around, actually. Sigh.

But if you are emailing us, know a couple things: we never publish any email if you ask us not to. Also, we never ever ever ever ever reveal your name, or where you are from, or anything that will identify you to the moonbat crazy folk out there. We understand, absolutely.

So what the heck. Send any one of us an email. Love to hear from ya.

Twelve Hunnert Bucks?!?

Almighty Czar,

With regard to Net Neutrality, I was with you up until the paragraph starting, “The solution is butt-dumblingly simple.” You may have missed the memo, but in order to coin a new phrase (ingenious as that one may be), you’re supposed to pay $1200 to the “New Innurnet Clerver Phrase Copyright Office” located right next to the Gormogon Myrmidon Training Corps. Failure to do so, even by one as mighty as you, can result in censure, noogies, and evisceration. If you don’t recall, this surtax was passed in order to balance the Gormogonian Myrmidon Noogie Squadron™ training budget.

Warm Regards,

D.T.

Myrmidon Training Coordinator and California Sales Analyst

Yikes. The Czar was unaware about the $1200 hit. Nor is he certain where to send his money. But DT sure seems to know about this stuff, so if it is all right with him, please send him your cash, checks, and money orders to his attention. We are confident he will send it to the right place.

Caught up in the Net of Neutrality

We have not discussed “net neutrality” here much. If you are a conservative, you know from conservative pundits that you are supposed to hate this. If you are a liberal, your liberal overlords have stipulated you must embrace this.

Okay, it basically goes like this. Today, you can pretty much get to any web site or internet service that you want to get to. There is no easy way to restrict you provided you have internet access that the website or service out there wants you to get to it. Sounds good, and the FCC agrees with this ancient premise: the whole point of the Web is that you should be able to get to whatever you want.

Google, Verizon, and others want to change this. They want to create a difference between accessing the web through conventional means (a computer and modem, for example) and getting web data off your smart phone. Verizon, for example, could charge you more for using a smart phone, but in return you would get faster service and some premium services not available to others.

Whoa—what’s this? Because implicit in that assumption is that non-paying customers would not be able to access these services. And that, some folks argue, is a violation of the whole net neutrality concept, as well as potentially infringing on rights to free speech. What, then, is to stop a cell phone provider from blocking content to a competitor’s services, or even censoring material it deems inappropriate?

Okay, so the FCC said that is not kosher, and moved to stop it. And they lost that decision, because (a) net neutrality is not the law, and (b) the FCC has no authority to make it so. In reponse, the FCC began to hammer out a framework that would maintain equal access, but would allow carriers to charge different rates for different flavors of services.

But no—opponents say this is crap. You are thereby creating two internets (at least): one fast one for premium dollar amounts, and a slower one for cheapskates. Today, the customer can decide how much or how fast he wants the internet to go for himself. The proposed change to this notion puts carriers—subject to the FCC—in charge preferentially over content providers—who are not beholden to the FCC. And this puts us right back where we were: a cell phone carrier can restrict content if you didn’t pay for it, and that makes conservatives hopping mad. It means that the government (unwittingly or not) gets to decide whether a private citizen can obtain services from a private service provider.

Tough crap, the FCC decided. On December 21st, we are going to this new model, like it or not! Look, the FCC reasons, we’re trying to do the right thing here. We are trying to help businesses compete against each other, and maintain an even playing field. Opponents say no, that this is restricting competition because carriers have an unfair advantage over a content provider.

So the Senate Republicans have stated that they will fight this on the floor of the Senate if they have to.

And they have to.

Because regardless of what side you take on this issue, the FCC does not have the authority to make a unilateral decision for internet control any more than you do. In fact, the internet is pretty much out of FCC control entirely: this is as absurd as the EPA saying they will make changes to the way you use the Internet.

Look, the Czar is sympathic to both sides. If you are carrier, you are providing a paid service. If you want to offer tiered services, that’s your call. If, as a result, you want to restrict people from getting premium offerings because they didn’t pony up, that’s your call. A cable company doesn’t offer 180 channels of HD services to a guy paying only for basic cable, right? And hey—if you want to restrict access so that your customers cannot download porn, violent material, or pro-drug messages, or even competitor ads that could hurt your sales, guess what? You own the service, so you damn well have a say in that, too. If the customer hates it, he can go elsewhere. You have the right to refuse service.

On the other hand, the other argument is good, too. Why do carriers get this advantage when other service providers do not? Why is it when Comcast prevented its users from using a popular file-sharing software service—because Comcast did not want to risk being sued since the software is often used to make and exchange illegal copies of media—the same FCC that loves premium content ordered them to allow the software? Okay, the Czar agrees with the previous paragraph, but you cannot create and enforce a double standard simply because carriers report to the FCC and service providers (like Comcast) do not.

This is indeed a thorny issue. But the FCC is simply wrong in appointing itself the arbiter here. It has no authority—certainly not without Congressional approval—to create law.

The solution is butt-dumblingly simple. Do nothing. Think about it: the status quo is maintained for service providers and content providers alike. On the other hand, if a carrier (or heck, anyone else) wants to provide restrictions based on the degree of the service contract, let ‘em. If you don’t want to pay Verizon $14.95 a month for “the whole internet,” go to AT&T who offers the whole thing for one price. (The Czar has chosen Verizon and AT&T as examples—don’t assume these are endorsements for or against either company!) Today, you can chat with IM for free over the Web, or you can use SMS on your cell phone for a fee. What’s the difference? You decide, not some FCC minder.

Both arguments are correct. Yet, somehow, the FCC managed to pick the wrong one. And on December 21, you might be paying for it—maybe not financially, but it would be another slash at the separation of powers.