A Gormogon Phone App

Rejoice, followers and bastard non-followers!

The Mandarin has released one of his many, famous mind control applications as an iPhone app!

With a couple of taps, you can direct your iPhone toward anyone and seize control of their mind.

It is, however, only available at the Droid Marketplace. No one is sure why he would be the only person to sell an iPhone app at a place you cannot download it from, but hey... he is the inscrutable one.

Search for the app under the name VGhJcyBBcFAgaVMgTm9UIEF2QWlMYUJsRSBGb1IgdEhlIGlQYWQ=.

Call Out the Guard

“Hey Czar, is it true the City of Chicago wants the National Guard to patrol the streets of the City to curb the outbreak of firearm violence there?”

Well, you might think so if you swallowed whole whatever the popular news venues eruct up. But in fact, this is a wild story that has run amok nationally.

Here is what happened...for real.

As you know, the Supreme Court of the United States is expected to hear arguments in a case called McDonald v the City of Chicago, in which a private citizen—outraged by the inability of law abiding folks to keep handguns in the home within city limits—is suing Chicago’s long-standing and awful ban on handguns.

The arguments look pretty solid for Mr. McDonald, and many people believe Chicago may be forced to repeal the ban. Consequently, liberal supporters of the ban need an emergency to demonstrate how essential a continued ban is.

In any large city, this is merely a waiting game. And a horrifying tragedy gave them what they needed: an adult gang member (who may be a former gang member...or not—the press is not asking) was advised to flee town when a hit was ordered on him. He, his wife, and children were preparing to flee, but stopped in the neighborhood late at night to pick up some cigarettes at a convenience store. While they waited, gunmen opened fire on his blatantly parked car. A bullet struck his 20-month-old daughter, Cynia Cole, while she sat quietly in the back seat of the car. She subsequently died of the injury, because he carelessly put her in the line of fire by brazenly stopping for smokes in a likely target area.

Horrifying, especially given how cute and sweet the girl was, but pathetically quite typical. However, the story was carried a bit differently by the press: an innocent girl, while simply sitting in the back seat of the car, was shot by gang members who appear to have been aiming elsewhere. The poor, devoted father stayed with her all night. You see, guns are out of control in Chicago. CNN reports this as a “violent crime wave.”

But thus far, 113 murders have been committed in Chicago: this is only a fraction more than typical. Appalling, but hardly a violent crime wave. A rational person might ask “Why are there any at all?” And we will see why shortly. But that fact is not dramatic enough. Instead, a violent crime wave has resulted in innocent people being shot left and right. Unspoken: and the conservatives want to reduce gun control measures?

Two Illinois state representatives, LaShawn Ford and John Fritchey, responded by demanding the governor call out the Illinois National Guard. Put them on street corners on the South and West sides of the city, arm them to the teeth, and let them stop the violence. Evidently Democrats like surges now.

Not surprisingly, this lit up the news media like a Christmas tree, with no shortage of sensational stories. The public is appalled at the idea, understanding full well the logistical nightmare that follows, the enormous costs in doing so, and the public relations disaster that is certain to follow when a National Guardsman fires on a child—a child given a toy weapon by gang members, and encouraged to run up to the nice soldiers. Besides, isn’t this illegal, under posse comitatus or something?

Posse comitatus only applies to the Federal government ordering any branch of the armed forces (except, clearly, the United States Coast Guard) from acting in a law enforcement capacity—which is great, because the Feds have a ton of non-military groups already acting like law enforcement. But the Mayor of Chicago, Richard M. Daley, could indeed call the governor and ask for the National Guard to gear up and hit the streets; heck, his father did it in the late 1960s to calm rioting.

However, Mayor Daley is aghast at the idea as well: the Chicago Police Department may be undermanned right now due to budget cuts, but they know the neighborhood, they know the people, and can do the job without the eventual disaster that the Guard would unwittingly unleash.

No, the Mayor counters, what we need is more gun control.

Get it? McDonald v. Chicago is very likely going to turn the handgun ban on its ear. A Rahm-style emergency occurs, and two legislators propose a terrifyingly Draconian plan for martial law. The Mayor acts outraged, as do the mainstream media outlets, and instead offers something much more palatable to the public: more gun control, not less.

Endgame: the public clamors for more restrictions, and thus the Supreme Court (long known to cave in to public outcry, evidently, in Daley’s imagination) upholds the ban.

You rob banks because that’s where the money is. You pillage Chicago, because that’s where the soft targets are.The reality of course is that while Chicago is not experiencing a dramatic rise in violent crime, its crime rate is obscenely high—and this is because of the handgun ban, not despite it. Chicago is a rich and fertile...and literal...hunting ground for gang members who know the public can provide little resistance, and the CPD is understaffed in all areas. You rob banks because that’s where the money is. You pillage Chicago, because that’s where the soft targets are.

NPR’s Michel Martin sensed something was up when she interviewed Representative Fritchey and asked “Do you have any theory about why it is that Chicago is continuing to experience this [type of violence] when a number of other major cities are not.”

Fritchey gave a non-answer about the existence of multiple theories, and variable statistics, and how ultimately the communities need to step up and end this. He did not imply that Chicago’s communities are somehow more stupid or incapable than in other cities. They are not. He did not propose that the police are inept. They are not. Nor did he mention that Chicago’s communities, rare in the country, are completely disarmed. Which is the fundamental difference.

And Martin delivered a smack-down. “Okay, but having said that, it's hard to imagine that New York City has any fewer dysfunctional parents, perhaps, than Chicago does. If you think that's kind of the cause of the thing or the job opportunities for the particular kid. People involved are [not] that much different. I'm not going to hector you, but I do want to ask, why is Chicago still experiencing this kind of high murder rate and other major cities have seen even more dramatic changes than Chicago?”

Fritchey pooped this reponse: “Well, it's a vexing question, but a very legitimate one. You know, I would submit that on a certain toll we have a culture of complacency in this city. You have a number of people in these affected areas that simply accept the violence as a part of daily life.”

No, Representative Fritchey: they have no choice but to accept it. The only culture of complacency at fault is the Democratic Party’s toward gun control. This is the same culture that would tolerate the use of a sweet little girl’s death as a perfect lever to pull a political stunt to make the Mayor’s obsessive compulsive fear of firearms seem reasonable.

Daley cannot escape the inevitable conclusion that his firearm ban is a catastrophe, which was predicted back when he first proposed it in 1982, and continues to result in innocent death after innocent death almost three decades later. Your mind may boggle at how he can live with this, especially when the rest of the nation can demonstrate that handgun ownership halts the spread of violent crime. But that would be like explaining to a sufferer of OCD that too much hand washing is bad for the skin.

Ok, I'm On Board

So we have already discussed the increasing encroachment of government into our daily lives: from the ObamaCare bill, to declaring carbon dioxide to be a dangerous substance (quick, stop exhaling), to regulating salt in our diets to a brand new one.  The Santa Clara legislators have declared a ban on including toys with restaurant meals with high sugar, salt or fat content. 

If this is the route we're taking and it's gaining this kind of speed, I'm going to jump on board.  Instead of just letting parents take some responsibility and tell little Billy that he can't go to fast food restaurants every day of the week until he collects all five Gormogon action figures because it's not good for him, we'll defer everything to the government.  They can tell little Suzie why it's bad to stick metal objects in electrical outlets by declaring a ban on metal utensils.  And that rebel Tommy down the street, well no more playing outside because there's a ban on excessive exposure to sunlight to help quell the rise of skin cancers.

While the conservative talking heads wear on me at times, their catch phrase of the "nanny state" is apropos.  Don't mind me, after I remove the tongue from my cheek, I'm going to go take a long drink from my garden hose before the government bans that too....for any number of reasons.

Oh For Crist Sake, Drop Out Of The Race Already...

Fox News is reporting that Republican Governor Charlie Crist of Florida will now run as an independent for the Florida U.S. Senate seat.

Why the sudden urge to run as an independent? The answer to that question would be Marco Rubio. After entering the race a few months ago Rubio has been able to not only close a 30-point gap in the polls, but to extend his lead over Crist by 30-points. That’s a 60-point swing!

But why such a drastic change of fortune for Governor Crist? Maybe it was his support of Barak Obama and government bailouts, or maybe it’s because his running mate is a true conservative. It could also be that many see the Governor’s run for the U.S. Senate as a way for him to avoid having to deal with Florida’s $3 billion budget deficit and have an “un-tarnished” record if he chooses to run for President.

Governor Crist is quoted as saying, “Republicans in Washington want him to stay in the Republican party but voters in Florida have told him they want him to run as an independent.” Well that is a very interesting spin on the fact that the voters in your party have basically told you to go pound sand in favor of a candidate that reflects their conservative beliefs.

Governor Crist is also quoted as saying, “Under no circumstance will I drop out of the race, I will do what is best for the voters of Florida.” Best for the voters Governor, or best for you? At this point your Mandarin thinks that you are showing your true colors, and like most politicians are only looking out for yourself. And that is the best case scenario. The worst case scenario is that you are now staying in the race to split the vote and hand the election to the Democratic candidate. Governor Crist, this is not a game of basketball where if you don’t get picked for the team you take the ball and go home so no one can play. Grow up and get out of the way of the candidate that the people have selected.

No more bets, les jeus sont faits. No more bets.

As the Gormogons’ arbiter, Confucius, the Œcumencial Volgi, hereby declares the Mandarin and the Czar to have won this year’s hockey bet. Congratulations, and enjoy your booty.

Sleestak, you may unlock the slivovitz locker and unchain the vodka barrels.

If We Had to Choose...

Black workhand beats white supremacist to death in Mississippi.

The Czar has a strange, mixed feeling on this one. Yes, it is wrong to have killed the guy. But on the other hand, the irony here is...well, let’s just go with it being wrong.

Don’t do it again.

We’ll keep our other comments to ourself.

Arrant geekery

But funny.

We’d like to know a bit about you for our files

So, Puter and the Czar have been talking about Arizona, la migra, etc. For my part, I’d like to just note that American Hispanics’ support for Democrats is not tied to immigration perhaps quite as closely as is implied. Hispanics generally oppose illegal immigration—even Mexicans of other Mexicans. However, they tend to see Republicans’ advocacy of border-control measures as driven by anti-Mexican (or -Hispanic) bigotry, not unlike how many black Americans think conservatives’ problems with race-based hiring schemes is due to anti-black bigotry, or feminists think opposition to Title IX policy is driven by sexism.

In general, the Republican party is seen as the party of the establishment, and the Democrats that of newcomers and outsiders. Whether this is really true or not anymore doesn’t quite matter since we’re in the realm of perception. And for people who view themselves in terms of an ethnic minority, that means the GOP looks like the Party of Mr. Charlie.

By the same token, Hispanics, like blacks, seem to gravitate towards government employment and frequently take government benefits. In that reading, voting Democratic is simply rational self-interest.

I tend to view the often lurid Hispanic reaction against immigration reform as driven more by their perception of racial oppression, rather than any actual problem with reforming the laws, but it’s a complicated dynamic and the factors the Czar points out play their part as well.

American PIGS

Portugal, Ireland, Greece and Spain, that is. These are the four dead men walking of the European Union. Yesterday, rating agencies downgraded the sovereign debt of Greece and Portugal, with Greece achieving junk status, and now paying over 13% to borrow. Today, Spain was downgraded. To be fair, Ireland has thus far managed its decent to penury fairly well.

"Big deal, 'Puter. That's Europe. It's got relatively little to do with the U.S. In fact, it may chase money into the safe haven of U.S. bond, which is a good thing.", you say knowingly.

It is a big deal. If the European debt crisis doesn't immediately cause a world-wide debt meltdown, a la Lehman, it will most certainly have dire consequences for America within the next five years. Here's why.

If Europe suffers a significant crisis of confidence, it will cause global money to rush to the relative safety of United States sovereign debt. This fear-driven influx of money will provide the illusion that (1) U.S. borrowing costs should remain low and (2) the U.S. has sufficient money to maintain the profligate spending programs foisted upon taxpayers. Essentially, the safe harbor seeking influx of currency will allow America's political class to kick the fiscal can down the road for another five or so years, until the world is unable to ignore the true toll of out of control deficit spending on America's balance sheet.

This is similar to what happened in Greece upon its entry to the European Union. Greece's low-cost money (enabled by piggy-backing on Germany's good credit) permitted Greece to live beyond its means for years, all the while pretending all was well. Everything went swimmingly right up to the point where it didn't anymore. And there Greece stands today, with its unsustainable public worker pensions, unsustainable social programs and unsustainable debt service. Sound familiar?

'Puter hopes to be wrong about this on many levels. First, 'Puter hopes Europe manages to get its collective act together or gracefully exit the E.U. experiment, thereby permitting Germany, France and England to save themselves. Second, 'Puter hopes American politicians actually deal with our fiscal problems, instead of using its artificially cheap borrowing position to double-down on a losing position.

'Puter hopes for a good result, but 'Puter doesn't expect one.

UPDATE: Similar thoughts here, via Instapundit.

Medvedev releases Katyń files

Wow. I mean, wow.

In an unprecedented step, the Russian State Archive published documents showing how Soviet leader Joseph Stalin approved the World War Two massacre proposed by his secret police henchman Lavrenty Beria. Other prominent members of the ruling Soviet Politburo also signed off on the slaughter.

A four-page document sent to Stalin by Beria, head of the NKVD, the predecessor to the KGB, sets out his proposal to “quickly examine the use of the highest means of punishment – death by shooting”. Stalin’s signature and a red “top secret” stamp are visible on the front page.

That’s not only surprising but a huge, huge gift to historians. Now, you say, what does this mean? Well…why would Medvedev have reason to publicly document the NKVD’s role as one of the most murderous, criminal organizations in history? It’s almost like there’s a former Chekist with whom he’s engaged in an increasingly public political struggle… Hmm…

Because we love you, we’ve added Andrzej Wajda’s Katyń to the Emporium Gormogonicum. Wajda’s father Kazimierz was murdered at Katyń.

'Puter's Sittin' In A Railway Station (with the Fed Ex Truck Drivers)

'Puter makes the following offer to Harold Meyerson, after reading his column in this morning's Washington Post.

FedEx's truck drivers should be allowed to organize under the NLRA (as opposed to the currently applicable Railway Labor Act), so long as Democrats agree that government workers shall not be permitted to unionize at all.

'Puter awaits Mr. Meyerson's response.

God Bless You, Please, Mr. Robinson

Here and elsewhere, the Czar sees a lot of discussion about the recent events in Arizona. Of course, if you are a Democrat, it is the Anti-Immigration Law; if you are a Republican, it is the Anti-Illegal Immigration Law. A minor quibble: but the GOP has to learn that if you want to control the media’s reaction to a bill, you need to give it a strong name that makes opposition to it seem inhuman. See how the Dems make it anti-immigration? As if supporting it makes you against all forms of immigration? Get it? The Arizona legislature should have named it The Anti-Crime Law and watch the Democrats choke on it.

Anyway, where were we? Ah yes. One common thread that the Czar sees is this notion that “Arizona passed this bill because the Federal government has been...” with options being “inffective,” “a failure,” “unwilling to enforce,” and so on.

Uh-uh. In our opinion, the correct phrase should be: “Arizona passed this bill because the Federal government has been complicit in its lack of enforcement.” The Feds should not get a free pass as if they just neglected their job; friends, they have been waving them in.

Here is the thought. There are millions and millions of Hispanics in the US: most are legitimate citizens, and only a small few are not. But the majority are citizens, and they vote. They also vote big, and in near uniform chunks.

It isn’t that the average Mexican American (or frankly, Latin American American) supports breaking the law. But those that vote often have a near or distant relative who is here illegally. If you give these relatives a free pass, and let them live and work in the US and non-taxpaying but de facto citizens, the actual voting citizens vote for you. Not because they support illegal activities: but because you kept a loved one in their family.

The Republicans know this, and many have favored amnesty—even St. Ronald of Reagan leaned considerably far in this direction. The Democrats have flaunted amnesty and even public benefits to the illegal aliens. So why would both national parties openly look away from enforcing the law?

Because every time you talk amnesty, tolerance, or looking the other way, you get votes. The Hispanic-American voting block is potentially massive, and even though the Democrats control a lot of it, Republicans (including President George W. Bush) have benefited enormously from their votes as well.

But every time you talk about securing our borders, or enforcing immigration law, or throwing out people who do not belong, you lose votes.

The point here is that the national politicians—by their magnetic poles the Democrats and Republicans—benefit from the influx of illegal immigrants in this country.

No, let us be fair. They benefit from the influx of Mexican and Latin American immigrants in this country. Indeed, there is a massive problem of illegal immigrants from China, Poland, Việt Nam, Canada (yes, Canada), Jamaica, Haiti, and other countries. But they do not have the voting bloc support—and consequently matter not at all. Arizona’s law actually covers all these countries, and many more—if you are here illegally, wherever you are from, you are under arrest. But we see no protests from these nationalities or their electorally insignificant supporters. They are invisible in this discussion because they do not vote by the millions for one candidate or another.

Arizona passed this bill because the Federal government has been complicit in its lack of enforcement.It would indeed be a gutsy politician, who could somehow survive without the powerful Mexican/Latin/South American vote, who would demand the Feds actually enforce the law. And so there are very few indeed.

Now, this is hardly a potshot at the hard-working men and women of the INS, the US Border Patrol, and Customs: they make numerous arrests, round up all sorts of illegals, and either deport them or send them to jail. No, we are talking about overall illegal immigration policy and its failures, as described by Ghettoputer and GorTechie herein.

These simple approaches are destined to fail at the Federal level because, well, because the parties want the votes. Arizona, and good for them, have realized that this is crushing their state rights, and it is time to exercise them.

This is a bigger, more complex bind than you might at first realize. The Arizona law is actually affecting folks here in the Chicago area. The Царица is a school teacher of the first order in a predominantly Hispanic suburb of Chicago, and the kids in this school district are freaked out about this law; they are all citizens, sure: you have to be a US citizen to be allowed into a public school here.

Yet they are horrified that some of their aunts, uncles, and cousins—who are indeed here illegally—will get poached by Arizona law enforcement because Arizona is such a convenient gateway into and out of Mexico. This scares the piss out of them, much as it would scare you to risk losing family members to arbitrary foreign law enforcement...remembering that their experiences with law enforcement back home typically result in enslavement at best or a bullet in the ear at worst. To them, the Arizona law is not about some academic discussion over states’s rights to enforce Federal law, or whatever, but that law enforcement can now more readily grab a family member of yours and make them disappear. Forever.

Yes, of course, this mythic paranoia could be handled with education and promulgation: look, American friends, you have nothing to be worried about. And your relatives would have nothing to be worried about if they just went and got properly credentialed, which costs very little. Of course, that would mean that they would be on the track to become US citizens, and pay tax, and not be able to pass readily back and forth from Mexico as personal finances warrant. But being a US citizen is a lot better than rotting in a jail, and you would never be hassled again.

But that sort of education would require the US government to take a politcally risky stand on immigration that, quite frankly, they just do not want to take.

Coo, coo, ca-choo, Mr. Robinson

I was kicking around the idea of posting about the Arizona Immigration bill and 'Puter just provided a good segue.  Immigration is a huge problem in the U.S. and elected leaders in Washington have done little to nothing to help.  The "great wall" (electronic or real) hasn't really materialized and faced serious funding issues.  Instead, we have a lot of talking and little action.  It seems like President Obama might weigh in this summer or fall but let's consider his take on the Arizona bill: "undermine basic notions of fairness....blah blah blah".  Excuse me, fairness?  Fairness for Mr. President and most of the current elected democrats doesn't seem objectively "fair" but rather more of the "fair is in the eye of the beholder" kind of fair.

Taxes?  Yeah, richer people pay more and use less government services.  My definition of "objectively fair" is something along the lines of a Flat Tax proposal - 17% on income (after a possible 20% tax rate) period.  But that's a topic for another day....soon.

Immigration?  How about follow the Foxtrot law.  Mexico has stricter immigration laws than the U.S.  Check out these facts:

Foreigners may be barred from the country if their presence upsets "the equilibrium of the national demographics," when foreigners are deemed detrimental to "economic or national interests," when they do not behave like good citizens in their own country, when they have broken Mexican laws, and when "they are not found to be physically or mentally healthy."

Federal, local and municipal police must cooperate with federal immigration authorities upon request to assist in the arrests of illegal immigrants.  National Population Registry keeps track of "every single individual who comprises the population of the country," and verifies each individual's identity.  A national Catalog of Foreigners tracks foreign tourists and grants and assigns each individual with a unique tracking number. Foreigners with fake papers, or who enter the country under false pretenses, may be imprisoned.  Foreigners with fake immigration papers may be fined or imprisoned.

So, why can't the U.S. step up to this?  It isn't racial profiling - it's adhering to the LAWS of this country.   Instead we have individual states that have become frustrated with the inaction of the federal government and started an effort to address the problem.  Having said that, it is likely that the Arizona law will be challenged and might fall on appeal as states do not have the ability to legislate foreign policy, including treaties, immigration laws, etc.  The defense will push that this law provides parameters around enforcing the residency status of citizens in a legal and lawful manner.  The President made a mistake claiming that this is a "fairness" issue - something that the GOP should capitalize on.  It's fair when we adhere to the laws of this country and its legal citizens.

Ass-Kickery

Not the Gormogons, ahem, approve of beating racist jackasses down, but we are amused by this story:

So a punk rocker named Jimmy Gestapo plays a gig at a Jewish-owned club in Philadelphia.

And a few hard-core fans show up in full Nazi regalia.

While a gay party goes on upstairs, featuring a man in a wedding dress.

All is harmonious, enough, until the Nazis leave the club, at which time they're beaten to a pulp in the street.

Great Idea, Sparky

New York's budget is almost a month late. This despite (or perhaps because of) a $9 billion budget deficit. And what are 'Puter's elected betters doing? Passing a budget? Nope.

They're stealing our organs. Assemblyman Richard Brodsky, a Westchester County Democrat, has decided that when you die, it should be presumed that you wanted to donate your organs. It's an opt-out decision, rather than an opt-in. Unless one of your survivors is present and objects, doctors are taking your organs and using them as they see fit.

First, jerky, pass a danged balanced budget.

Second, paraphrasing a pro-abortion mantra: keep your laws off my organ(s).

This is a prime example of Albany's arrogance. The state is burning down around them, and the most pressing issue seems to be figuring out a way to take your organs from you without your express consent.

If Albany wants to know why people are fed up with all of them -- not just Republicans or Democrats -- it's because of this fundamental disconnect. Our current crop of politicians has no clue what's important to New Yorkers; they're only concerned with getting reelected.

'Puter's beginning to think picking random large scale drug dealers from the state's prison population to serve as legislators would be better than what we have now. At least drug dealers understand basic business principles like balanced budgets and believe in swift, certain justice.

Here's To You, Mr. Robinson

Eugene Robinson rants against Arizona's new anti-illegal immigration law in today's Washington Post. The most polite thing 'Puter can say about Mr. Robinson's argument is that it betrays a schizophrenia on the issue.

You see, Arizona is "racist, arbitrary, oppressive, mean-spirited, [and] unjust" for requiring its peace officers to enforce federal law at the state level. Mr. Robinson conveniently omits from his initial critique that Arizona's law is a direct result of federal inaction. Thank goodness we have Rich Lowry writing in today's New York Post to provide sufficient context to set the record straight.

Contrary to Mr. Robinson's assertions, Arizona authorities will not be conducting Gestapo-like midnight raids on innocent victims. The Arizona statute requires that there be a "lawful contact" with the person, and that the officer have a "reasonable suspicion" of that person's illegal presence in the United States. This is hardly onerous. First, legal immigrants are already required to carry on their person proof of their legal status at all times. Second, cops have to have lawful contact with the person to be searched, such as a traffic stop or arrest. Third, cops must have reasonable suspicion that the person is present illegally, such as the person speaks no English and cannot produce identification on demand.

Mr. Robinson goes on to admit that Arizona is correct. Federal refusal to enforce immigration laws have forced border states to bear unsustainable burdens. See, e.g., 460,000 illegals currently in the state, skyrocketing crime associated with illegals, higher taxes to support illegals, etc. It's just that deporting illegals is, well, mean. What Mr. Robinson seems to want is open borders, with individuals coming and going (or staying) as they please. Oh, Mr. Robinson will deny this, but that's where his argument inexorably leads. Not defending our border + refusing to determine immigration status = open borders.

Mr. Robinson then recognizes Arizona's need to protect itself, but refuses to reach the logical conclusion. Federal authorities must enforce the immigration laws on the books, or stand aside when states seek to do the same. And if the federal government for whatever reason is going to ignore current immigration law, then Congress should at least be honest and repeal the laws altogether.

Bad Kitteh!

Not one but two separate Gormogon Operatives pointed 'Puter to the horrific Hello Kitty branding effort, pictured, right.

What in the heck was Kotex's marketing deaprtment thinking here? Nothing says comfort and absorption like strapping a kitty to your kitty?

So, as you throw up the oatmeal you managed to shove down your food hole this morning, feel free to thank Operatives G.D. and J.S. for sharing.

'Puter Status Update

1. Work is bat-sh!t crazy.

2. The Washington Capitals suck.

3. It's snowing outside 'Puter's window. Seriously.

4. At least there's Glee tonight!

Czar and 'Puter like to watch Glee with a handle of vodka (each) and a big bowl of pickled peasant knuckles the Czar has specially made.

Boys II Men, Or, How to Get There

And so CNN has an interview with Antwone Fisher on what boys need to learn in order to become men.

As it turns out, the interview wasn’t too bad: tie a tie, shave properly, and so on.

But things are a far cry from the Czar’s boyhood, when at twelve, he had to ritually kill two aurochs with his bare hands and eat the hearts. And that whole thing with the fire in the church basement.

The Czar thinks that Mr. Fisher’s book on the subject is an unfortunate necessity today for many. The easiest way for boys to become real men is for the father to act responsibly: the boy will readily copy that behavior and become a responsible person himself. This seems obvious, but alas, is becoming rarer and rarer.

Not all of this, of course, is the dad’s fault, and Mr. Fisher agrees: some dads are so busy just trying to make ends meet that the kids see very little of him, and when he is home, he sleeps. But any opportunity to teach boys to be likeable is a good one. The Czar himself has already taught his lads to wield a halberd, the finer points of impaling dissidents to walls, and how to burn horse meat so that it is charred on the outside but blood raw on the inside. The elder one will sack his first Ottoman listening post by fifth grade, we think.

Public-Sector Employee of the Year Award

Via John Derbyshire on the Corner.

Edge of the cliff

Dan Henninger from the WSJ has a great OpEd video below.  He makes a number of excellent points, but the one I like the best and wish the regular news outlets would pick up on is that it is much more than the Tea Party folks who are discouraged and upset with the government.  Listen to the piece and the numbers he cites:

Thank God for the Czarina.

Otherwise, we’d be having to manhunt the Czar in England. Why? The fair English rose at right would be a Czar magnet. Let’s go down the list of desiderata:

• Cute

Laura Hall, 20

Sure, cute enough. plus a low-cut blouse.

• A fancier of fermented libations

A woman has become the first person to be banned from buying or drinking alcohol anywhere in England and Wales.
Laura Hall, 20, was issued with a Drinking Banning Order - nicknamed Booze Asbos - which bars her from entering any pub, club, off-licence or bar.

Oh hellz yeah.

• Crazy

She has been convicted of a series of public order offences, and had flouted bans from pubs and clubs through local Pub-Watch schemes in her home town of Bromsgrove, Worcestershire.

Cute, drunk, and bat-shit crazy. It’s like she’s some robot from the future designed to induce the Czar into making terrible life decisions.

Robot from th—GorT? GorT!

Dude, not cool. Also, you may need to recalibrate. You needed to drop her nearer Muscovy about a decade ago…

Liberal Fantasy Currency

One thing that still astounds the Czar is the ability of the Left to hear things never said and see things never done, and in such a colorful way.

Check this out.

Bloomberg has a story about the newly designed $100 bill.

The Drudge Report links to that. No real commentary, mind you, just a link that was titled “Looking European.”

Joe Klein of Time magazine writes an observation about this, and quotes Bloomberg’s description of the bill’s anticipated new color scheme.

His conclusion: Drudge feels that because the bill looks European, conservatives must be convinced that the new $100 bill is a prelude to socialism! Hah, those stupid conservatives! What is this country coming to, he concludes.

Mind you, all this socialism talk was said by Klein, not by Drudge or Bloomberg. And you are right: all of this was spun in some anti-conservative fantasy inside Klein’s own head, and is not found nor supported by anything in either Drudge or Bloomberg.

The Czar’s read? The new $100 contains some new elements that have indeed been borrowed from some successful elements on the euro. Done. His other conclusion? Klein is, in fact, the paranoid fantasist that he projects onto the Right; he is, after all, the sole source of all the paranoid scribblings therein.

In fact, the Czar would be more accurate to say Joe Klein of Time provides evidence that new $100 bill is socialist move! At the very least, we have relied on our sources more accurately than he has relied on his.

Life Does Not Imitate Art

Hey, fans of 24. Here’s what your god Jack Bauer really looks like after staying up for 24 hours.



Remind the Czar to tell you about the time Kiefer Sutherland woke us up back in college.

Ripped off from WWTDD.

Why Does Iceland Hate White People?

There is bad news and good news on the Iceland-is-again-destroying-the-world front.

The bad news is that each time Eyjafjallajökull (pronounced “lind-say-LO-han”) erupts, a more powerful volcano named Katla explodes within six months.

The good news, of course, is that Katla is shitloads easier to spell and pronounce.

Evidently, eruptions of Eyjafjallajökull in 920, 1612, and 1821-1823 always resulted in eruptions of Katla six months later.

You should of course realize that the Mandarin’s Volcanatic Magmafier was operating each time. Eyjafjallajökull makes sense; but the Czar must remember to ask the Mandarin...why Katla?

McCarthy may have been a drunken bum…

…and demagogue but that doesn’t mean he was wrong about everything. Writes Ron Radosh:

That is precisely why the new article by Jennifer Delton is of such importance. For the first time, a young historian at a major liberal arts institution has dared to challenge the consensus view, and to declare that it is time for mainstream historians to acknowledge that their old framework of studying the "McCarthy era" was both misleading and incorrect. As she says near the beginning of her article, "New evidence confirming the widespread existence of Soviet agents in the U.S. government makes the Truman administration's attempts to purge Communists from government agencies seem rational and appropriate---even too modest, given what we now know." (my emphasis)

That remark alone is quite different from the conventional analysis offered by historians of the period: that it should not be called the McCarthy Era, but the Truman era of repression, since it was Truman who paved the way for McCarthy's rise to power, by acting as if there was an actual Communist threat. Moreover, Delton continues to argue that even if the Communists were not among those who became actual KGB agents, whether in unions or political groups or in Hollywood, "there were still good reasons for liberals to expel Communists." Rather than accept the framework of the Popular Front so beloved by the Left and by left-wing historians, who continue to think workers and Americans could not make real progress unless liberals and Communists cooperated in the post-war era, Delton notes that the Communists "were divisive and disruptive," could cripple the groups they entered, and harm their very ability to attain their desired ends.

Ha. I mean, it’s not like stabbing them in the street…

…but this is a pretty funny—and way more moral—form of revenge. The site revolutionislam.com, which threatened Matt Stone & Trey Parker with death for their Muhammad-themed jokes in the 200th episode of South Park, was hacked thusly:

Update: Looks like the aforementioned site was actually revolutionmuslim, so someone must have set this up as a joke for people looking for it…or something.

Via Andy Levy.

What Kind of Socialist Is Barack Obama?

Asks Friend of the Gormogons Jonah Goldberg over at Commentary.

You’ll want to check it out, comment, etc. Possible commentary coming later…

Driscoll And the Czar Agree: Hollywood is Moronic

If you’re new to the Castle Gormogon, you may not quite realize some basic facts about the Czar of Muscovy:

- He refers to himself in the third person singular half the time, and the other half inexplicably uses the first person singular as we see fit.

- He thinks that journalists tend to be the least qualified creatures on the planet to report the news.

- He also loathes Hollywood celebrity worship, and while we enjoy a good film, or even a bad one that lacks pretense, actors are little more than dimwitted meat puppets who should read their lines and otherwise shut the foxtrot up.*

So it is on that last point that we enjoy Ed Driscoll’s excellent diatribe on why popular celebrities are so hated by Americans now. Very well done, very short to read, and it manages to go its entire, brief length without mentioning Sean Penn...something we have been unable to do.

* The Czar has taken criticism for this position in the past...invariably from people who do not actually know professional actors personally. The Czar has known more than a few. He is much more qualified to generalize them as dimwitted meat puppets, and the good actors will be the first to admit this about their peers.

A Democratic Tea Party Candidate? True!

A story you likely have not heard, because it makes the mainstream media look increasingly more stupid about politics: the Tea Party movement in Idaho has endorsed a democrat for US representative.

And it happened. Walt Minnick, a lifelong democrat, received the endorsement due to his track record on voting against government spending and waste. This came as a total surprise to leading GOP candidate Vaughn Ward, who is incredulous that the Tea Party would dismiss his own conservative background to pick a democrat.

This should actually serve as serious warning to the GOP. The problem is that the GOP has been arrogantly counting on Tea Party support, despite fairly specific admonitions by party chairman Michael Steele that this exact sort of turnaround can happen. The Tea Party folks in Idaho looked at the backgrounds, positions, and statements of the major candidates (including three Republicans) and concluded, reasonably, that Minnick actually offers a more sensible view of government. Minnick, lately, has been an outspoken critic of Speaker Nancy Pelosi and her Progressive brood.

The Czar has no trouble understanding this, and even expects to see one (possibly two) other such endorsements. Generally speaking, GOP candidates ought to be confidant that they will receive the Tea Party votes—it is a rare Democrat who actually advocates Tea Party ideals. But apparently Walt Minnick is just such a creature. If the GOP wants Minnick’s campaign to go tango-uniform, then they need to present candidates who are even more fiscally conservative than these rare, beautiful creatures.

And as the waning years of the Bush administration proved, Republicans can be just as good at spending other people’s cash as the most rabid Democrat. Do not count on the elephant symbol to win you votes in 2010: the public has gotten much, much smarter than that.

The best part of this story is the lack of coverage—simply because the media cannot comprehend this. The Czar pictures an old DOS command prompt, silently flashing a cursor in a sea of black, unable to process anything on its own, and waiting for the New York Times to explain to them in a series of commands what must have actually happened so they can write about it further. Your Volgi assures us that the current crop of journalists have never been better educated; the Czar maintains they have never been more ignorant on matters of basic comprehension. Both positions are correct.

DDT—the excellent powder

Confucius is a bit of a crank on the topic of DDT and how its effective banning by green groups has led to something like a hundred million unnecessary deaths by malaria since 1972, 90% of whom were likely pregnant women or children under five. That’s about 7,200 deaths a day. Which is like fully loading up sixteen 747s of kids and crashing them into the ground every goddamn day. There are some lovely charities that try and get mosquito nets to malarial areas, but that’s nowhere near as effective is the application of tiny amounts of DDT to interior house walls once or twice a year.

Anyway, before Confucius goes berserk and writes 27,000 words on the topic, here’s a good video from the folks at Reason.

See Notes Run

Yes, it seems that we are once again redesigning the $100 bill. About time, too, because the last major redesign happened only a couple years ago.

New anti-counterfeiting measures will consist of a microlensed security ribbon and vanishing Liberty Bell. Full 3D capability and Digital 7.1 SurroundSound are also standard, as is an HDMI port so that you can view your bills in 1080p on a BluRay player.

Secretary Geithner estimates that the new technologies incorporated into the bill will cost the American taxpayers approximately $155 per C-note.

Kagan, Sapphism & the Court: I respectfully dissent.

’Puter argues that potential Supreme Court justice and current Solicitor General Elena Kagan’s refusal to self-identify as a lesbian damages her credibility (and maybe a little less reasonably that this disqualifies her from the Court).

Confucius, your Œcumenical Volgi, tends to take a more antediluvian stance where one’s sex life is nobody’s business. This makes the Volgi more comfortable with Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell than Ghetto P, for example.

The impression is widespread that Ms. Kagan prefers the company of women, but she clearly does not publicly identify herself as gay. What’s the problem? If it’s truly irrelevant—as it should be in most situations—then the question should be left there. If, as Ben Domenich wrote, it’s an “open secret” at Harvard, then why not leave it a secret, if that’s her choice?

It should be noted that there’s a chance the widespread impression is wrong, and the White House is simply telling the truth. But if it’s not, it’s still not disqualifying.

Contrary to ’Puter’s post, there seems to be no record of Ms. Kagan’s lying about her domestic arrangements or taste in bedmates—whatever they are—so she should not be disqualified. If the White House has lied, well, we’re all shocked that there’s gambling at Rick’s. The right thing for them to say would be: “Ms. Kagan’s private life is her own and irrelevant to her qualifications.” And a reasonable guess at the backstory might be:

WH: Ms. Kagan, this guy’s written an article in which he says you’re a lesbian.

EK: I don’t describe myself as a lesbian.

WH: FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: ELENA KAGAN NOT A LESBIAN

Why the White House would feel the need to characterize her affirmatively, if you will, as NOT GAY, could be anything from honest misinterpretation, to misguided protectiveness, to crass and cynical politics—“We can’t put a ‘Lesbian’ on the Supreme Court! We’ll lose the Independent Jebus Freak bloc which was key to our winning Ohio!” Who knows? But I’m much more inclined to rail against their apparent duplicity than Ms. Kagan’s desire for discretion around her personal life.

If some senator wants to ask her a question on say, the application of protected-class status to homosexuals or the legitimacy of hate-crime laws, as one might quiz a Catholic nominee on abortion, or a black nominee on race, that’s not out of bounds in the least, and she should answer openly and honestly. But the senator shouldn’t open the question, “As a lesbian…” nor should her answer begin with the same—even if she were “out.” So the question of her predilections in affection is not at all germane to her fitness to serve.

If that kind of “honesty” becomes demanded by the Right as it is of much of the Left, then we’ve all succumbed to identity politics, and we might as well have our government-mandated protected-class status barcoded on our wrists so we can quickly be scanned for our ethnosexual fitness.

If as ’Puter’s argument goes, she’s been riding topless with coeds atop golf carts at the Dinah Shore Open [warning: club music] for years and is now saying she’s not a lesbian, ok, that’s a question of basic honesty and probably disqualifying. Otherwise, she deserves a modicum of discretion about the intimate parts of her life.

Elena Kagan Disqualifies Herself For SCOTUS Seat

It's an open secret that Elena Kagan, high on President Obama's list for a Supreme Court appointment, is a lesbian. When blogger Ben Domenech commented that Ms. Kagan would be the first openly gay Supreme Court Justice, the White House issued an immediate denial of Ms. Kagan's lesbian status (Lesbianity? Lesbianess?). Ms. Kagan has not commented. This, of course, has resulted in a dust-up on teh intarwebs, but with curiously little interest on the part of the mainstream media.

Here's 'Puter's take for what it's worth. Ms. Kagan either is or is not gay. Ms. Kagan should have immediately issued a statement stating that she is, or is not a lesbian. Either answer would have been fine with 'Puter, and neither would qualify (or disqualify) her from serving with distinction on the Supreme Court. Ms. Kagan's defenders rightly point out that her abilities, not her sexuality, should be determinative of her fitness to serve.

However, where, as here, a person hides her alleged sexual preference in order to smooth her path, that itself is an issue as to her fitness. What else is Ms. Kagan hiding? What else is she willing to do to advance her career? How dependable, ethical or stable can a person be who denies a part of herself? Each of these questions is now fair game in her confirmation hearings. And Ms. Kagan has only herself, and her sellout of self, to blame.

To be clear, Ms. Kagan's sexual preference is not disqualifying; her hiding her preference is. If you're too ashamed/afraid of who you are or people's reactions to who you are to stand up for yourself, how on earth are you ever going to be able to stand up for our Constitutional rights?

Let’s hope the f— not.

Patty-Patty Buke-Buke* sees white ethnonationalism on the rise. Which, over the years, he seems to think the key to preserving the (white?) Republic against the multi-culti left-wing onslaught. This is, of course, insane. However much one may deplore the injustices done to whites in the name of (arguably justified) compensation to blacks and Indians or (idiotically) ethnic grievance-mongering on behalf of, I dunno, Mexicans, Laotians, Gujaratis, Samoans, Incas, Masai, Kalmyks, Albanians, or whoever it is this week, the idea that an emergent, ethnically-defined white identity is anything but the recipe for ongoing and increasingly embittered strife is lunacy.

Buchanan seems to hold the same bizarro caricature of the Tea Party movement as its left-wing detractors, only he approves of it. This is perhaps of a piece with Buchanan’s evolution from a fairly standard-issue Reaganite to a protectionist, ethnic-consciousness, isolationist—that is, a leftist more somewhere to the Mussolini end of the spectrum. Pat’s no fascist, exactly, but he doesn’t seem averse to the use of state power to advance the goals of his ethnos. Which shouldn’t be respectable among Americans of any stripe (though it’s sadly institutionalized on the Left).

* 02:55, though if you skip ahead, more the fool you.

GloZell!

This is some pretty good satire, reminiscent of In Living Color and Chapelle’s Show, and dynamite screen presence. Enjoy.









More at her YouTube channel here. No idea what her politics are, so don’t bitch to the Volgi if you’re offended by something. (Remember, all politics, all the time is for insane people.)

Via Kathy Shaidle

The Other 53%

GorT has been holed up in the lab trying to to get the replicators working faster to replace all the microfuses that I'm blowing over taxes.  A few issues are at hand:

First, the media and the general public are, by and large, missing the point about the Tea Party crowd.  It's not a protest purely over taxes but rather the broader issue of how invasive the government is getting into our lives and how we're paying for programs that significant portions of the nation are opposed.  This brings me to point number two:

As a result, we end up getting this group called "The Other 95%" who is touting the fact (yes, technically a fact) that a large portion (maybe up to 95%) of working families (note that frequently they don't qualify that and there's the debate over 95% of Americans when 47% don't pay any federal income taxes) realized a tax cut this year.  For most, it was a modest tax cut, but one nonetheless.  This crowd is pushing for media air time and growing via social networking sites such as Twitter and Facebook.  Let's cut through all the rhetoric on both sides of this.  It is undeniable that these people are short-sighted - to the point of only looking at this year.  I wonder what happens next year when the Obamacare taxes, Cap and Trade and other democrat spending programs kick in?  Will they be out in force like they are now saying, "oops, yeah, that $400 tax cut we got last year is gone and I owe $4,000 more this year."  Doubtful.

Consider the data below from the Tax Foundation, a non-profit, non-partisan tax research and educational organization that has been around since 1937.

Table 1 Summary of Income Redistribution Before and After Health Care Reform Fiscal Year 2016
Market Income Percentile	Average Income Redistribution (OMB Baseline)	Average Income Redistribution (Post-HCR)	Change in Income Redistribution
0 - 10%	+ 20,309	+ 21,236	+ 927
10 - 20%	+ 12,363	+ 14,396	+ 2,033
20 - 30%	+ 9,862	+ 11,546	+ 1,685
30 - 40%	+ 7,907	+ 8,684	+ 777
40 - 50%	+ 6,917	+ 7,172	+ 255
50 - 60%	+ 4,921	+ 4,717	- 204
60 - 70%	+187	- 248	- 435
70 - 80%	- 4,862	- 5,426	- 564
80 - 90%	- 12,131	- 12,804	- 674
90 - 95%	- 18,800	- 19,776	- 976
95 - 99%	- 61,681	- 64,852	- 3,172
99 - 100%	- 484,493	- 536,697	- 52,204
ALL	0	0	0
Exhibit:
Top 20%	- 47,594	- 51,450	- 3,856
Top 10%	- 83,030	- 90,066	- 7,036
Top 5%	- 147,250	- 160,345	- 13,095
Top 1%	- 484,493	- 536,697	- 52,204
Main Sources: Tax Foundation Fiscal Incidence Microsimulation Model; CBO final score of health care bill; President's FY 2011 Budget

Obamacare will increase the distribution of wealth, on average, from top 20% of taxpayers (which are people earning above $158K approximately) to lower tax bracket earners by almost $4,000 per year.  That is more taxes and fees to those in the top 20% for less services and benefits.  With the fiscal insolvency of Social Security and the mess that we're in with various parts of Medicare, this doesn't bode well.

"Excessive taxation... will carry reason and reflection to every man's door, and particularly in the hour of election." --Thomas Jefferson to John Taylor, 1798.

In Loco Parentis

We are all children now!

Your benevolent governmental paternal unit has determined that Americans are too stupid to determine what they can shove in their pie holes, so they've made our food choices easier by eliminating all the "bad" or "wrong" options.

That's right, boys and girls. The government's on a crusade to eliminate salt from the American diet through governmental regulation.

Jeebus H. Tapdancing Christ on a bicycle! 'Puter hasn't been this mad since Czar switched out 'Puter's Everclear with turpentine, and he didn't notice the difference.

'Puter doesn't ask for much from his government. Decent roads, some national defense, minimally corrupt government, etc. All 'Puter asks in return from his government is to leave him the heck alone.

It's not like 'Puter's asking the government to provide him food or shelter, in which case the government is well within its rights to limit choice. Beggars can't be choosers. If you're on food stamps, the government can tell you to eat saltless canned spinach and dried chickpeas. You're on the dole; you don't get a say.

But leave 'Puter and his crappy, fatty, salt-laden, alcohol-fueled diet the heck alone, as he's a quasi-self-supporting adult. It's an American right to shove whatever noxious crap one wants down one's food hole. 'Puter's willing to abide the consequences of his poor decisions. And, last 'Puter checked, salt is necessary for the human body to function properly.

More annoyingly, this affects what goes on inside 'Puter's castle. Apparently, for liberals, any room in the house, except for the bedroom, is free range for government regulators. Low flow toilets, energy star appliances, smart meters, the intrusions just keep coming. You want to get it on with three midgets and a throng of macaques? Go for it! Heck, you can get NEA funding for your performance art. So long as it's for the children, or for the environment, or for your own good, that's all the justification the government needs to intrude into your most personal decisions.

'Puter'll be goll-darned if he's going to put up with these mule muffins. Czar and 'Puter are going out tonight for Maalox Margarita night at the Leaping Peacock, with extra salty rims!

Bad Day On The Job

Quoth Eric Cartman: "How come everything today has involved things either coming in or going out of my ass?"

The California Highway Patrol-person tasked with this search must have some sympathy for Cartman's plaintive lament.

WWPD? (What would Ponch do?).

Aside from copping and attitude, from behind his dreamy sunglasses, with his buff chest straining his tight uniform ... Uh, nevermind.

Wait For It....

Your Mandarin saw the headline, “Iranian Missile May Be Able To Hit U.S. by 2015” for this article from Reuters today and my first thought was wow, that has to be the slowest missile ever developed. I mean really what speed is that thing traveling at, five miles a day?

Upon reading further, it turns out that in fact no extremely slow missile has been launched by the Iranians. In reality the article discusses the possibility that with foreign assistance – which your Mandarin assumes would be from Russia or China – the Iranian government could build an ICBM capable of landing on the U.S. by the year 2015. Glad to see our “friends” are looking out for us.

Oh well, I guess I can leave the castle bomb shelter for now. Although I don’t remember where the door is.

A Taste of Their Own Medicine?

A California state senator has been receiving threats and ill-tempered messages for his personal investigation into California State University’s hiring of Sarah Palin for an appearance there.

Seems he wants details of the financial terms and other conditions of the deal, and is shocked to be receiving unpleasant messages concerning his interest.

Well. The shoe is on the other foot, is it not? Where is the reporting of the hundreds of threats and harrassing messages California State University is receiving for asking Sarah Palin to speak there? No, you will not hear about that, will you?

This is actually par for the course when a conservative is asked to speak at a liberal establishment; protests, threats, and warnings more often than not result in the appearance being cancelled. But when the liberal gets hassled...well, now, that must be news.

I feel the sky come tumblin’ down

Царь наш,

In regards to your earlier post about the obscurantist ẖojatoleslām who was blaming seismic activity on the wiles of wanton women.* Obviously, sure, Eyjafjallajökull’s eruption was caused by Mandy’s Tectonomat® because he needed to short some airline stocks to win back that thirty mil Dat Ho took off him at backyard buzkashi.

But as far as “stir-frying the rice” goes, the ladies always tell the Volgi, “You made the earth move, baby,” or “Oh my God, I felt like a volcano,” so maybe there’s something to it after all.

*The Talmud says it’s maybe gay sex that causes earthquakes. Or it’s disputes. Or not having a king. Or not rebuilding the Temple of Solomon while holding circuses…

Cool Eyjafjallajökullcam

Say that three times fast.

From adept J.S.. Check it out.

Clinton: A Warning Inside a Warning

When President Clinton warns the world about rising extremism in the US, you should listen. After all, this is the man who practically invented secret right-wing conspiracies out to destroy him.

The message is a little weird to have delivered on the anniversary of the 1995 Oklahoma City terror incident, and at first, it reads fairly innocuous: there is a lot of hateful talk out there, and it doesn’t take much to set some loopier folks off.

But this is by no coincidence. Who was President in 1995? You got it—a big government liberal. And who is President today? Another big government liberal. What President Clinton fails to include in his warning is that crazy, anti-government stunts—committed by people on the Left as often as people on the Right—tend to happen when big government liberals come to power.

Another interesting coincidence is that big government liberals tend to be voted out of office. Clinton survived mostly because he quickly changed his tune when the Republicans got put into power: a consummate reader of polls, Clinton may be unique among Democrats in actually taking today’s likely voter dissatisfaction seriously. Congress sure doesn’t seem to be getting the message. And President Obama is still dismissing the Tea Partiers as a bunch of ingrates. Wrong message, Clinton realizes: violent extremism is a logical but unwelcome conclusion to big government policies. Clinton’s message to tone down the message is not a warning to us all, but a fairly clear warning to the Democrats.

That Girl Will Rock Your World...

According to this article from Foxnews.com women who wear revealing clothing and behave promiscuously are to blame for earthquakes, or at least that is what senior Iranian cleric Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi believes.

First off you goofy throw-back to the 7th century, it is not scantily clad women shaking their money makers that cause the earth to tremble, but rather the awesome powers of the Gormogons! If in doubt let me reference you to the Eyjafjallajökull eruption. And secondly, you might have a slight earthquake problem based on the fact that Tehran sits on numerous fault lines.

But rest assured that this enlightened cleric has some sound disaster preparedness plans as evidenced in this quote:

“What can we do to avoid being buried under the rubble? There is no other solution but to take refuge in religion and to adapt our lives to Islam’s moral codes.”

Ok buddy, good luck with that. Your Mandarin would suggest that you might want to move the capitol to a less seismically tenuous region, update your building standards, or maybe sacrifice a virgin or two to the volcano gods.

Fear-Mongering, J-School Style

Better get scared America, because the Tea Partiers are finally arming themselves, and this can only mean trouble!

Or so two hysterical journalists at the Washington Post believe, anyway.

Bottom line: “dozens” (whatever that means) of people attending a rally for support of the Second Amendment showed up with unloaded and properly carried firearms in NoVA; supporters showing up at a similar DC event were completely unarmed.

However, that is hardly news: first amendment supporters show up with signs and megaphones all the time. So in order to generate fear, the story was re-written to amplify the fact firearms were present (and in a much lower, softer voice, clarifications that this was all legitimate and legal and contextually appropriate).

Read the story: it is quite short, but written entirely convinced that this is dangerously crazy behavior. And what does this have to do with the Tea Party? Nothing, so note the comment “[Armed force] might be justified if people face arrest for refusing to buy insurance under the health care reform package recently passed by Congress.” The Czar is bewildered by the leap in logic here.

And this is no glitch: two journalists wrote this, and presumably at least two editors reviewed this before deeming it both important and news worthy. So either something vital got cut out of this story, or there is no genuine news here...just gun-control spin.

So Where's The Mandarin Been? Busy!

Check it out. Here is a picture of the Eyjafjallajökull volcano erupting.

Is this wild or what? Mandarin, ya did it again!

Some Shots Heard 'Round the World

Boston Herald.com: Revolutionary War Battles Recalled on Patriots Day.

BBC News.com: George Washington’s $300,000 library book fine.

One supposes we each remember the Revolutionary War in our own way.

Mark Steyn on the Obamite Nostalgia Foreign Policy

Granted that almost all of Obama’s exciting, innovative “change we can believe in” turns out to have been exhumed direct from the sclerotic Seventies to stagger around like a rotting zombie in polyester bell-bottoms from some straight-to-video sequel, there’s still something almost touchingly quaint in the notion of an international summit on nuclear “nonproliferation” in the 21st century.

Read the whole thing—like I gotta tell you…

NASA: Bush v Obama

The Volgi was kind enough to forward on a fascinating comparison between the MSM’s reaction to President Bush’s entreaty to go to Mars and their reaction to President Obama’s identical plea.

Remember it? Basically, Bush wants to go to Mars; what an idiot! Obama wants to go to Mars; what a visionary genius! In many respects, the link will show you, the speeches, timelines, goals, and funding promises are almost exactly identical between the two; however, the media decided Obama’s version is totally without condemnation because they like him.

But is Obama right? The Czar thinks not. And he thought the same of Bush.

Frankly, Obama is being too kind to NASA.

A lot of conservative folks who really ought to know better would like to see NASA tied to a tree and killed. “How can we justify spending all those billions of dollars on a space program when there are so many programs in dire need of funding here on earth?” The reality is that NASA funding is very low—in fact, it is under $18 billion a year. By comparison, the Office of Personnel Management spends that much in two months on life insurance benefits to federal employees. Compared to the excitement of a new Hubble image, a space probe getting surface pictures of a new world, or peering into the black hole at the center of our galaxy—and millions of people care about this stuff even if you don’t—NASA is a drop in the bucket that provides some of the best bang for the buck in government history.

NASA is dirt cheap.

Also, by contrast, a lot of conservative folks think we need to get to the Moon and Mars before the Russkies do, and before the Chinese open up inexpensive souvenir stands there. This is also a load of crap. Both the Russians and Chinese are ridiculously unprepared for deep space exploration. The Moon ain’t close folks, and Mars is millions of miles away. There is no space race to these places: we already won.

But NASA is a major employer in the South and JPL is a big employer in California, so there is a lot of pressure to keep NASA well-funded and rockets launching. But there are things NASA does well, and things NASA does badly.

On the good side, NASA is astonishingly good at pure research and planetary exploration. One probe or Mars rover can re-write the textbooks in a single week. NASA can get an orbital camera traveling thousands of miles per second to take a snapshot of a rock on an alien world with near total reliability. Again and again, NASA proves it has mastered this. Anthropometric studies have redesigned everything from the chair you sit on to the amount of torque it takes to turn a door knob on your house. These are awesome things that produce tangible and esthetic value.

On the bad side...well, NASA is pretty lousy at getting humans up into space. They seem to find the most expensive and dangerous ways to do it, using half-century-old tools and fuels. And NASA is incredibly bad at understanding how much things cost. Seriously, if NASA ran a consumer affairs website, they would assure you that a Cadillac Escalade costs about $5,000 and can be built in eight minutes. Project after project winds up millions of dollars over budget and months or even years behind schedule. Only NASA could lose money on a space shuttle, which reuses 99% of its own hardware on each flight. These guys are clueless about time, money, and most tragically, safety. After every disaster or close call, there is an independent report that reveals a fundamental incompetence and culture of ambivalence about safety. Yet, we spend millions on this stuff.

So the Czar says NASA could use a lot more money than it gets. But we are far, far, far from being serious about manned space travel, and we do ourselves a massive injustice with outlandish fanatasies about Moon bases, Mars missions, and more. Let us spend the money on robotic probes and monster space telescopes—and see a real return.

And as we have said before, if the President wants private industry to take over space exploration, fine! Just get the foxtrot of the way when they want to mine asteroids, use nuclear fuels, and strip-mine the moon.

But that day will never come, either: the President will expect private industry to do the work of NASA as a total profit loss while sandbagged by millions of regulations and restrictions, and private industry will tell him to take a flying leap. And the truth will come out that President Obama is every bit as insincere and uninformed about NASA as Carter and Clinton were.

Yeah, he’s a visionary all right.