Sunday, February 28, 2010

Dr. King Weeps For Atlanta

The Czar has previously said that when racism is genuine, it is totally obvious to any reasonable person and needs no civic leader to point it out for us.

Remember in baseball, prior to Jackie Robinson, when they held a Major League all-star game against the Negro League all-stars...and the Negro League cleaned the clocks of the MLB best to the horror of the mostly white crowd? And how the MLB said the victory did not count due to “ground rules?” That was racist.

Thank goodness the same thing would not happen today, right? Where a judging body threw a competition because the crowd got ticked that the wrong race won?

Guess again.

So Coca Cola decides to hold a stepping competition for college students. Stepping (and it’s a fairly new thing so don’t be alarmed if you have not heard of it) is a highly rhythmic form of dance involving clapping, chanting, and stomping. Cool stuff, actually. It originated in largely African American communities and is getting national...and even international...fans.

The results? Well, by all accounts, the Zeta Tau Alpha (Arkansas University) sorority was an easy winner, and did an outstanding job. Watch the videos online and judge for yourself; the Czar claims no expertise here. And so Coca Cola awarded the young ladies the $100,000 prize.

Except, the Zeta Tau Alpha sorority is predominately white.

And so came the blogs, Facebook rants, and outraged television field interviews all accusing Coca Cola (a major employer among the black community of Atlanta, by the way) of racism. Racism, racism, racism. Coke, naturally, denied it.

And the charges of racism kept coming. And coming. And so Coca Cola announced that, surprise, there was a slight error in the scoring tabulation. Even though the scores were confidential, and no one knows how the finalists were ranked, Coca Cola suddenly discovered that a major discrepancy occurred (evidently they forgot to carry the 1,000) and announced that Alpha Kappa Kappa—an all-black sorority—was a co-winner. And Coca Cola coughed up another $100,000 to award AKK for their efforts. Why AKK? Well, since the scoring remains secret, no one knows if they were even close to Team ZTA or not.

A telling comment from one of the audience: “The bottom line was they didn’t care if the girls were better or not; the people that were upset were saying white girls should not have won, period”

Wow. This is not one of those ironic stories where you say “If we switched white and black, this would be a clear-cut case of racism.” This is a clear-cut case of racism without any need to switch at all. Shame on Coca Cola for selling out, because the next sponsorship will cost a lot more than $200,000 to silence. And shame on those who would cheat and bend the rules to ensure the wrong race loses. Dr. King would weep to learn that Atlanta still judges people based on skin color and nothing else.

More Napolitano Head Spinning

The Gormogons are most concerned for the people of Chile, who have been hit with an earthquake about 20 times more powerful than the one that crushed Haiti. We know now that the anticipated tsunami that almost evacuated Hawaii fortunately dissipated into extremely rough surf.

So the Czar reads that “Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano is monitoring the situation from Vancouver where she’s leading the U.S. delegation to the closing ceremony of the Winter Olympics.”

Excuse us? No, the Czar is not outraged that the Secretary is not dropping everything to rush into Chile or back to DC and do...well, whatever it is the DHS is supposed to do when Hawaii, Samoa, and Guam are threatened by a tsunami.

The Czar is astonished that the Chief of Staff looked at all the recent terrorist activity on American soil and decided to send Napolitano to an Olympic wrap party rather than protect us from the next inevitable hit. They couldn’t send Biden? Clinton? Rice?

On the other hand, the Obama inner circle may realize that Napolitano might be more effective at waving to Shaun White than the disastrous mess she has made of her own duty.

Saturday, February 27, 2010

Re: Are You Kidding Me?

A bit of poli sci jiggery pokery that the Czar has learned tends to be alarming.

Interesting stat that 66% of Americans think everyone in Congress should be dumped. But it means nothing, usually, because Americans do not actually vote for everyone in Congress: they vote only for their own officials.

And, history suggests, Americans tend to keep re-electing the dumb bastards back into office. Why? Well, yeah—we hate Congress. But we like our guys. Sure, they’s schmucks. But their our schmucks.

In less cute terms, it comes down to the devil you know. We tend, as a political animal, to go with the person we hate but know more than the person we might not hate as much but do not know for sure.

This and only this explains Barney Frank.

Are you kidding me?

As I started my day this morning I almost choked on my 10w-40 omelet when I saw this.  Read it, including the unbelievable transcript of Rep. Pelosi's (D-CA) responses.  She stands by her claim that she's running the most "honest, open and ethical congress ever".  Wow.  How out of touch are these people?

I continued about my day at the castle and came across this story in the WSJ (excerpt below):
WASHINGTON—Senate Banking Committee Chairman Christopher Dodd (D., Conn.) is circulating a plan to create a Bureau of Financial Protection within the Treasury Department to supervise mortgages, credit cards and other financial products, as negotiations intensify over how best to rework banking regulations.
I started wondering whether this new BFP entity would have the power to investigate elected officials getting "sweetheart" deals from mortgage and other financial institutions.  Nothing like scoring a 4.25 percent interest rate on a $506,000 refinancing loan for his Washington town house, and a 4.5 percent rate on the $275,000 loan on an East Haddam home.  Of course, I'm sure all of us were offered these rates, especially on a jumbo loan like the $506,000 one.

This divergence from reality is only reinforced by recent polls such as the latest CNN congressional poll where it showed that only a third of US voters think their congressional representatives have earned the right to get sent back next year.  Thirty-four percent of voters queried think members of the House and the Senate ought to be re-elected and an amazing 63 percent were in favor of throwing everyone out. 

Clearly they are out of touch and heading the wrong way with this kind of arrogance or ignorance.

Another Plug

A word from a dear fan:

Between you guys (including the hidden captions), the various NRO blogs, wattsupwiththat.com, and a couple others I regularly check, my productivity can really go to hell some days, and I thank all of you for that. I have a Verizon data card to avoid the firewalls and web blocking for my job and if my boss knew what about half of that traffic was used for........

Free drink for you at the Castle bar in the lobby.

Do not actually drink it. Our vodka zombies are so-called because they turn you into one.

Ok, this is schtick, but it’s good schtick.

Of course, the Volgi’s favorite part is at 03:30.

Friday, February 26, 2010

Dr. J through the looking glass again

More comix ’n’ commentary from Dr. J, bidding fair to become the Gormogons’ comics’ page editor. He and the Czar are a dagger points—literally, Doc’s got some sort of Bowie knife and the Czar’s got some bizarro Circassian kinjal and they’re circling each other while Mandy & ’Puter are half-crouched, snapping their fingers and about to burst into a big dance number. Typical evening at Castle Gormogon: potential felonies, bloodshed likely, and a little bit too much affection for the musical theater.

Anyway, the Good Doctor has a couple more SoeteroCare editorial cartoons in which the cartoonists’ assumptions are actually 180° off, so their exaggeration for humor just makes them, well, kinda bizarre, if you’ve been paying attention. I’ll let Doc take it to the hoop.
"Ridicule is man's most potent weapon. It is almost impossible to counteract ridicule. Also it infuriates the opposition, which then reacts to your advantage,” Saul Alinsky.

Clearly the left want to ‘Rahm’ their plan through by any means necessary.

Republicans have offered and suggested an incremental approach. With such an approach, clearly bipartisan consensus could (maybe, possibly, in Bizarro Superman’s world) come about on some issues, leaving other areas to be scrummed over based on clearly differing ideologies.

But, rather than accomplish a few things that potentially many people could agree on, and brag on them until the end of the world, the Obama Administration has chosen to ridicule the idea of multiple small bills, which might result in some good progress so that they can get their whole way.

These two cartoons mock the Republicans by equating the Republican Party’s thoughtful approach of multiple bills to a doctor who only does the first step of a procedure today, and the next step tomorrow.

In medicine, we often utilize ‘the tincture of time’ as intervening early, while good for somethings is not good for others.

Obviously we like a door to balloon time of less than 90 minutes during a big heart attack (ST-elevation myocardial infarction).

Small heart attacks (non-ST elevation myocardial infarctions), by contrast, don’t benefit from rushing to the cath lab at immediately but do equally well waiting up to 48 hours. Trust me when I say, even in the best of hands, you are better off in this latter situation (a small heart attack), getting an angiogram during business hours than at 2AM.

Another example is with a lump in the breast. Is it better to biopsy it, get a tissue diagnosis, and then, IF CANCEROUS, got to lumpectomy, radiation therapy, and IF INDICATED chemotherapy rather than rush in, and do a bilateral mastectomy with chemotherapy running wide open during an operation occuring in the core of a nuclear reactor.

We’re better off with a series of multiple bills than with a comprehensive approach.
Hard to argue.

Re: What Does Barry O Have Against the British?

This explains why the US isn’t backing the UK in the Falklands oil drilling dispute.

Read it and see. Done? Okay, you might ask, this explained nothing. Why is the US snubbing one of our best friends?

It is in there: specifically, these two paragraphs:

Relations between Buenos Aires and Washington since Barack Obama came to power have been less than 'special'.

Argentine president Cristina Fernandez de Kirchner is said to be in Mr Obama's bad books after refusing to meet with the U.S. assistant secretary of state for the region, Arthur Valenzuela, in December of last year.


So it isn’t that we don’t like the UK... it’s that Argentina does not like Barack Obama. So in order to appease Argentina, and get them to like BO, we need to take their side by not taking Britain’s. If you are in the One’s bad books, he will fall all over himself (sometimes literally) to show you that you are better than any American.

There it is. All for One, and the One for himself.

Health Care Summit

'Puter's got a few thoughts on the Festivus-esque "airing of the grievances" that occurred yesterday in Washington.

First, 'Puter thought, and still thinks, that the party that spoke least was going to "win" the summit. Republicans spoke significantly less than Democrats. Ergo, as Volgi notes below, advantage Republicans. Speaking at length about the turd-in-the-punchbowl that is the Democrats' health care plan doesn't make the punch taste any better.

Second, 'Puter's representative Louise Slaughter (D-NY) is an absolute embarrassment, and proved it in spades yesterday. A high level health care summit is apparently a great place to tell an anecdote about a toothless constituent who couldn't get health care, so she had to wear her dead sister's dentures. The story made 'Puter think. If health care is so bad that members of Congress can't get treated for obvious dementia or brain damage of the sort Rep. Slaughter plainly suffers, maybe health care does need reforming.

As to both points the first and the second, 'Puter is reminded of the wisdom of another President, Mr. Abraham Lincoln who said "It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt."

Paul Ryan just demolishes the Democrats’ bill

Why Napolitano Must Be Replaced

One thing that irks the Czar about conservatives is their innate reflex to demand a resignation. An Obama appointee knocks over a drink—some Congressperson calls for a resignation. An Obama appointee forgets to switch her watch back to Eastern time, and a blogger demands her resignation. So sign the Czar up as someone who grows weary of all these requests for resignations. The Czar, perhaps, is resigned against resignations.

But Janet Napolitano. Wow.

Here is a story you missed because as far as we can tell, only one little news service is calling formal attention tothe story. Check it out: click here to see if the number increased by the time you read this.

Ready? On Wednesday—that’s only the day before yesterday, folks—Secretary Napolitano publicly concluded that the Fort Hood shooting was an act of Islamic terrorism.

Let us refresh our memories. On November 5, 2009, Major Nidal Malik Hasan killed 13 people and wounded another 30 while wearing white robes and a taqiyah cap, screaming “Allāhu Akbar,” and other forms of the takbīr, after baldly promoting his desire to kil infidels with the blessing of al-Qâ’ida imam Anwar al-‘Awlaqī for months prior.

Secretary Napolitano defined this as a simple criminal act the very next day:

Describing the killings as “a terrible tragedy,” Ms Napolitano said a civil rights and civil liberties directorate in her department aimed to “prevent everybody being painted with a broad brush.”

However, the facts have become clear to her, 107 days later, that perhaps this was an act of terrorism on American soil after all.

You can do a lot in 107 days.Well, such a delay might be vaguely understandable: her on-the-job training manual clearly stated that domestic terrorism originates from white supremacist groups, libertarians, the unemployed, Obama-haters, right-wing xenophobes, Second Amendment supporters, and veterans of foreign wars. Somehow, an over-the-top jihadist continually threatening to kill infidels slipped past this exhaustive profile.

Perhaps she could ask for a new page, which could be entitled And Threats Any Moron Could Predict. See, here it is: had she continued to refuse to acknowledge the act as terrorism, we would continue to labor under the myth that the President was keeping her quiet to avoid offending sensibilities. But coming out almost four months later to say “oh yeah, it was terrorism after all” reveals that she was under no such prohibition—instead, she reveals that she did not understand the situation. Bush-bashers will admit that no one officially waited until December 27, 2001, to realize that we were at war with al-Qâ’ida. By that date, you will recall, Kandahar had fallen and the Taliban were out of power. You can do a lot in 107 days.

The President has periodically said that he relies on the judgment of the smartest people in the world for each one of his appointments. Whether you believe this is fantasy or the truth, you have to ask what the hell level of competence Secretary Napolitano could possibly hold.

If you look at her response to Fort Hood, H1N1, the Detroit bomber, and Guantanamo, (not fogetting her conviction that Canada exports terrorism!) she has been 180° wrong on every critical event that affects her department. Read that again: not just mistaken. Not just a bit off. Not slightly askew. But dead wrong. Ridiculously so.

The Czar joins the rising chorus of people who think the President made a really bad call with her. And since the Czar is tired of demanding resignations, he will take a different tack. Mr. President, you need to fire her.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

What does Barry O have against the British? Part XVII

Washington refused to endorse British claims to sovereignty over the Falkland Islands yesterday as the diplomatic row over oil drilling in the South Atlantic intensified in London, Buenos Aires and at the UN. Despite Britain’s close alliance with the US, the Obama Administration is determined not to be drawn into the issue. It has also declined to back Britain’s claim that oil exploration near the islands is sanctioned by international law, saying that the dispute is strictly a bilateral issue...Senior US officials insisted that Washington’s position on the Falklands was one of longstanding neutrality. This is in stark contrast to the public backing and vital intelligence offered by President Reagan to Margaret Thatcher once she had made the decision to recover the islands by force in 1982.
“We are aware not only of the current situation but also of the history, but our position remains one of neutrality,” a State Department spokesman told The Times. “The US recognises de facto UK administration of the islands but takes no position on the sovereignty claims of either party.”
Seriously?! Confucius got nothin’ but a string of profanity. You might be able to pick out the words “Queen,” “iPod,” “Churchill bust,” and “Price Club DVD set.”

Fer Chrissake, the British burned Washington around ’Puter & my ancestors, and we’ve forgiven them. What’d they ever do to Barry O?

We suck up the effing mollahs who’ve been at war with us for thirty-odd years and dis our best ally. Fabulous. Just effing genius.

Via Andrew Stuttaford at the Corner, whose post you should read.

Figures

Read this.  Yeah, that's the kind of support we're getting from the democrats and why they need a swift gut-boot from the Mandarin.  All of them.  Now.

The Logic Checks Out

If you’re a skeptic like the Czar, this sort of thing will blow whatever you’re drinking out your nose.Only Dr. Boli.

Kom til silden, ophold for den eksistentielle angst

Hmm. This doesn't appear to be resizing right. Watch full screen or at the original site, if that's the case on your screen.


Denmark Introduces Harrowing New Tourism Ads Directed By Lars Von Trier

Thank Goodness He Didn't Say "Hope and Change"

Can you imagine what would happen if President Obama, faced with the economic recession, had given this as his inauguration speech? What would have happened to his support? Yes, it is a real speech from a historical leader taking power—but can you imagine the chaos that would have followed if it had come from an American president?

With the confidence of the people of our great nation, I shall speak as bluntly and clearly as the current situation demands. For this is a time to be burtally honest. We must not mince words. Yes, our great people shall survive as we always have, and we shall grow strong again. But I believe that the greatest threat we face is to do nothing, to wait, and to live our lives in confused state of shock—a gnawing anguish which causes us to shrink away rather than step forward. For in every critical moment of our great history, we have always and correctly put our unquestioning trust in equally great leaders who understood the need for urgent action. I know that you will give me that same leverage in this terrible time.

Together we can take on our mutual crisis. We are lucky that our problems are purely material. Costs have risen, taxation is out of control, we are crushed by debt, bankruptcy is dire, we cannot trade, industry has dried up, farmers cannot sell their crops, and personal fortunes have vanished.

Worse, so many of our citizens are out of work and running out of options, and those who scrape by get little or nothing for their efforts. Only an idiot denies how serious is this emergency.

But this is not the fault of our faith. We suffer no biblical trial. Our people once always triumphed because they were brave and true, and for that we must be grateful. Today, we have great national resources and the means to exploit them. We have the means of production, but not fair distribution. This is because the free market and its leaders have failed due to their own greed and stupidity, and they know they have done this to us and even worse they have left us on our own. These evil money men are hereby charged in the court of public opinion and so found guilty in the hearts and minds of all people.

Yes, they almost succeeded in their designs, but their actions were doomed by feudal thinking and failed ways. When the credit markets collapsed, their solution was to lend more money. When this failed to seduce the good people into their cults, they begged and pleaded for more. Their generation only knows the game of self-reward. They lack the ability to see the truth, and without this truth, everyone suffers.

And so the money lenders have abandoned their thrones in the kingdom of our society. But now we can rebuild our kingdom according to a more ancient wisdom. We are limited in our rebuilding only by how much we value social justice more than simple profit.

For peace and prosperity will never be found in material goods, but in hard labor and thoughtful progress. The happiness and righteousness of toil must not be displaced by simple accumulation of wealth. The present darkness will one day prove to have been a great resource if it teaches us that greatness comes not from a hand out but a hand up.

Accepting that wealth is not the goal of success must also accompany the realization that success in politics comes not from financial gain as well; we must cease all business and banking that allows for corruption and greed to thrive. Today our trust fails us, simply because trust cannot exist when we are lied to, betrayed, forgotten, abandoned, and neglected.

But we cannot rebuild our greatness on a simple return to morality. No: the people demand action—immediate action.

Our first goal must be jobs. We can do this if we use our heads and our hearts. We need the government itself to provide us the means, and to mobilize the people like an army going to war, yet using our resources as our weapons.

Together with this, we must realize our cities are overpopulated, and by mandatory relocations to the rural areas, we can put people where they will best serve the common good. We shall enact price controls over agricultural products, and thereby increase the value of this new agrarian labor force for those remaining in our industrial areas. We can do this by stopping the foreclosure of failed mortgages of our smallest homes and farms. We can do this by forcing the government and local cities and towns to lower costs for goods extensively. We can do this by nationalizing the ownership of our highways and communications and public utilities. There is no end to the ways we can achieve our goals, but we can do nothing if all we do is talk and talk. The time has come to act swiftly and decisively.

Last, in our progress toward reducing unemployment, we must enforce two strict rules to prevent the sins of the free market from returning: first, we shall fully regulate the entire banking industry; and second we must also end all financial speculation coupled with an equal reform of the national currency.

This shall be our attack strategy. I shall demand that the legislature meet immediately to provide for these measures in unity with the legislatures of our local governments.

By way of this battle plan, we commit ourselves to reforming our great nation, and ensuring that our economy achieves equity. Our foreign trade, though important, is presently less essential to our survival. We must now be pragmatic. I shall certainly work to strengthen trade with other countries, but for now that must wait until we are strong at home.

Some may falsely accuse me of being nationalist. In reality, I seek only to return us to the spirit of our forefathers, working together in all things, as a way to reclaim our greatness. This is the truest way to survive our crisis. It must be done now. It is the sole hope for our survival.

As for our foreign policy, I see us as a friendly acquaintance to all—and through self-reliance, we shall act as a role model for the world’s nations—we shall respect our obligations as well as respect their ways.

In studying our citizenry, I now see as never before how much we all depend on one another; we cannot simply receive without giving; if we are to survive this emergency, we shall need to act as a disciplined and obedient army willing to die for the common cause—for without this discipline, we cannot advance, and we cannot obey. I know all of you are willing to put your lives and your personal belongings under my leadership because it makes it possible for my guidance and direction to achieve our common victory. I hereby vow that the greater good of this victory shall constitute a sacred pact of unity the likes of which are only seen in the darkest days of war.

And by this vow, I shall not hesitate to take control of our great people’s army, and lead a loyal, disciplined assault on the threats facing our very survival.

That the end so justifies the means is both legal and allowable under the society we inherited from our forefathers. Our laws are so basic and pragmatic that anything we might do is justified and allowable without much modification. This is why our society is the greatest ever produced. We have triumphed each time we grew, fought an enemy, dealt with insurrection, and met with other lands.

I would hope that our present laws are up to the tasks I have laid out. But if not, I know you will give me unlimited, but temporary, power to do whatever is required even if it does not meet the letter of the law.

I am prepared to do my duty, and do whatever it takes to heal our sick country languishing in a sicker world. And if the law allows me to do so in word or in spirit, I shall do it quickly.

But if the laws do not allow me either option, and in the event our crisis is still with us, I shall not hesitate to carry out my responsibilities to you. I shall demand the legislature enact the one tool I would have left—unlimited power to wage war against our current crisis, exactly as if a foreign enemy was pouring across our very borders.

I can only promise that I will repay your faith in me with bravery and dedication. I owe this to you, fully.

For we can now face difficult days ahead in the warm bravery of our single, national cause; with the clear conscience that comes from following our forefathers’s ways; with the joy that comes from young and old laboring together. We seek the glory of a rewarding and permanent life of national service.

I do not seek to destroy democracy. Our country has not failed. In this our of crisis, our country has spoken, and demanded swift and immediate action. Our country has demanded discipline and required obedience. Our country has made me the leader to achieve this. And I humbly accept the challenge.

We praise God for this day. May he protect each of us. May he show me the way in this dangerous time.


Scary, eh? Actually, the bad news is that this speech, more or less, did come from an American president. Not word for word, but sentence for sentence and idea for idea. All your Czar did was modernize the English.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Touché

(Britain is a bit like Greece except with the Elgin Marbles)
quoth Stuttaford.

Re: Re: Social Security Reform

Who knew people were interested in social security reform, much less the nefarious Gormogon operative Dr. J. He makes a point 'Puter had meant to make, but in his bleary-eyed haze, forgot to do so. Dr. J. writes:

Puter,

Loved your article. [N.B., sucking up gets you published - 'Puter]. Someone has to suck it up to break the cycle. It might as well be us GenXers as we never expected to get Social Security anyway.

By the way, let me also say that I have always resented the SSI business model. It is nothing more than a pyramid scheme.

Bernie Madoff and others went to jail for doing it and it’s called a Ponzi scheme. Uncle Sam does it and it’s called Social Security (how ironic).

Nate Kurtzman (Liberty Heights) runs numbers, he goes to jail.

The state or municipality does it and it’s called ‘the lottery.’

Sincerely,

Dr. J

Exactly right, Dr. J. The government arrogates to itself the ability to perform acts that if you and 'Puter did, we'd be jailed.

Remember the following, boys and girls, when we're discussing health care, social security, welfare or any other government run program. Conservatives broadly speaking believe that freedom is man's possession of right, whether as a gift from God or inherently. Liberals believe that freedom is bestowed on man by government.

And that, my friends, is the rub, and why on so many issues today, there can be no compromise.

Teachers Gone Wild

Apparently the cold in Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canadia (not misspelled -- Canada is also known as America's Hat) has frozen the brains of a pair of teachers.

An unidentified male teacher performed a lap dance on a female gym teacher, one Ms. Chrystie Fitchner, during a student assembly. The performance art included simulated oral sex performed on the female teacher. You can see a picture of Ms. Chrystie Fitchner here, because 'Puter can't figure out how to save/copy/embed stuff. There's actual footage of the dance at the above link.

'Puter notes that the teachers involved have been suspended with pay, but expects that they will be quickly reinstated thanks to their union. If not, they can always find work as dancers for the Canadian Ballet.

Re: Social Security Reform

Gormogon operative JAB writes in with a response to 'Puter post regarding social security. 'Puter hopes the response is satirical. Either that, or Mandarin's gaslighting 'Puter by zapping operatives with his orbital mind control lasers again. Thus spake JAB:

Yo, Mr. Puter,

It is a good thing you write under a nom de plume, 'cause if you wuz known publicly, your domicile would be shortly surrounded by torch-bearing mobs! Betty White be d***ned.

Do you mean to suggest that I won't get to retire the second I hit 65 and repair myself to a doublewide in Florida, where I can conveniently hit the early-bird special at the Tony Danza Dinner Theater? And what about blowing my monthly government check at the jai'lai parlor? Sir, those are the things of which dreams are made!

And exactly why shouldn't the government send a check every month to Warren Buffett? Just because he's richer than Croesus doesn't make him any less deserving of his fair share of the wages earned by a 20-year-old working in a convenience store.

My paternal grandparents have now gone on to glory, but they last put in a crop when they were 70, with his-and-hers tractors, no less. They didn't ever get the chance to enjoy a lovely late-afternoon at the Tony Danza Dinner Theater. But I will do it for them, and I'll stick the bill to my kids and grandkids to boot. Shuffleboard anybody???

JAB

Excellent work, Operative JAB. 'Puter especially likes the his 'n' hers tractors. Those grandparents of yours are the folks who built the prosperity we are now squandering.

Re: Different Drummer

Apropos Czar's post below, 'Puter offers the following.

First, Czar, as always, is correct.

Second, what's up with Czar's post last night? 'Puter fears he has been called out as a simpleton. Even more fearfully, 'Puter fears he is too simple to make a determination whether Czar's post did, in fact, call him simple. It's all so very confusing, particularly after spending last night sucking down absinthe and amarettos whil watching professional dodgeball on The Ocho down at the Leaping Peacock.

Third, and what rightfully should have been first in this post, the New York Times' editorial below accepted at face value the Obama Administration's faulty premise. That is, Republicans must offer a comprehensive plan to reform the entire health care system just as the Democrats have done, or the Republicans are simply being the so-called "Party of No."

The New York Times has it backwards. It is incumbent on those who wish to fundamentally overhaul one-seventh of the American economy to prove beyond a reasonable doubt why we need to do so. The burden of proof is on the proponents of systemic change (Democrats), not on the Republicans. Further, the Republicans have put forth plans to address real concerns about health care, among them tort reform and permitting purchase of health insurance across state lines.

The New York Times is knowingly attempting to obfuscate the Democrats' failure to meet their burden of proof on health care reform. As house organ of the Democrats, 'Puter's not surprised at the New York Times' unethical behavior.

We Want A Different Drum

So the New York Times still cannot see straight. From a wobbly attempt to portray the GOP’s attitudes on a healthcare reform meeting as cautious:

Republican Congressional leaders on Tuesday rejected President Obama’s challenge to come up with a single comprehensive proposal to achieve his goal of guaranteeing health insurance for nearly all Americans.

Ahem. Most Americans are already guaranteed health insurance by something like a 10:11 margin. If the Times thinks this is the President’s goal, they should write an editorial pointing out he already achieved it before he became President. Another miracle!

The President has never hidden or concealed his hope to make healthcare universally delivered for all people in this country (Americans or otherwise), which is a major difference and the key sticking point. And for those keeping score, his current proposal—which is pretty much his previous proposal with a new date on the cover—does not include this widly unpopular option. Rather, the major difference is in establishing how much control the government would have over insurance: like a leash, in that the dog can only walk so far before getting tugged in the master’s direction, the current proposal allows the insurance providers to do whatever they want until and unless the government decides otherwise.

The President has no apparent desire to get anything else done in this country or around the world, since he continues to beat a drum to which we have stopped listening. Drop it already and get to work on something else. Healthcare is dead. Long live healthcare.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

A Very Gormogon Day

Boy, today was a special day, wasn’t it, boys and girls?

You got posts from all five of us!

First, you woke up to another Mandarin Theater of the Absurd post.

Then, the Czar raged about common sense because he read something in the news that ticked him off about journalism methodology.

Ghettoputer grossly over-simplified a complex and thorny issue and proved, once again, that his simplification is...well...actually that simple.

GorTechie sprang into action to discuss basic economics, which he does so damn well.

And the Volgi managed to pull off his two favorite types of posts: a detailed analysis of politics and policy, followed by a collection of goofball pop-culture expositions.

And let us not forget the contributions of our readers and operatives, who make the whole thing worthwhile.

Today was a very Gormogon day.

And by the way, for purposes known only to us and for reasons only we can fathom, you may have noticed we moved Sri Lanka three inches to the left. Check your maps. You will see it now that we pointed it out.

Mary Jane Watson gets the Vapors

Well, this is one of the stranger things you’ll see all day. It’s not work-safe, strictly speaking, due to a couple naked cartoon pinups.



Love the song, though.

If Hello Kitty were here, it’d be like looking in Ghettoputer’s head

Remember folks, for every guy in a Disney suit, there’s a sweaty, stifling, stifled drama student.



Great singing, but man, modern musicals must be dreadful if these are show-stoppers.

Via James Lileks’s Twitter feed.

Things to do in Denver when you’re dead…

…don’t compare to those you can do when stuck in the Pittsburgh airport overnight during a Snowpocalypse. Marvelous. Whoever this girl is, we love you.

We’re through the looking glass, people.

Dr. J, who keeps his stethoscope in his ABA-era afro, writes in with an excellent point of how political polemic corrodes the mind, to the point where black is white and down is up.
I have been historically amused by Toles’s work even though he is a rabid lefty. It might be because of the little guy in the lower left corner quipping. Who knows. I read Doonesbury as well. Even as a conservative, I can laugh.

This cartoon [vide infra —ŒV] really bugs me, however, because it is the OPPOSITE of what both sides stand for in the health care debate.

Obamacare is ‘theoretically’ about reducing costs, and rationing care (not really but for the sake of argument). Recall during the ABC town hall at the beginning of his term he would offer ‘the blue pill’ instead of a pacemaker to the grandmother of a woman concerned that her grandmother would have been denied a pacemaker with Obamacare. His rationale is that there is some blue pill out there that can mimic on-demand electrical stimulation of the heart. Last time I checked, there isn’t a blue pill, nor a red pill. I should know. I am a cardiologist. [Trapped the Matrix, man…] He would be calling for an aspirin in the gentleman who came in with a small heart attack and severe coronary artery disease requiring coronary bypass surgery. Aspirin reduces future events, but in this situation, CABG would do a little better job. Ask Bill Clinton or Dick Cheney.

The Republican side of the aisle, if they are to be accused of anything, would be accused of maintaining the status quo or being pro-medical/pharmaceutical/device industrial complex. In the world of satire, they would be accused of offering seven bypases (on a per bypass basis, which is NOT HOW WE BILL) when 4 would do.

Re: A Plan Worth Considering

The Gormogon alert service is up and running as evidenced by the rapid feedback we received from Gormogon operative GD:
I agree that, overall, the tax plan needs a serious revision and I would support just about anything that makes it better than what we currently have. However, I think the FairTax (also in committee and fully detailed at http://www.fairtax.org) is a much better solution.
GD goes on to point out three main benefits of the Fair Tax proposal. First, it is a consumption-based tax levied at the point of sale. But the second two points are worth citing directly:
[Second,] The FairTax would jump start the economy in ways we have never seen before, because it eliminates taxes on businesses. I know that sounds scary, but understand this: businesses currently do not pay ANY taxes, regardless what your politicians tell you. All taxes are passed on to either consumers or shareholders in the form of increased purchase costs or decreased return on investment, usually the former. By eliminating the exceptionally cumbersome "tax calculus" involved in all business decisions now (where to build a plant? how many people to hire? what kind of people to hire? etc. etc. etc.) and eliminating taxes on raw materials, businesses would have heavy incentive to remain in, return to, or simply move to the United States to do business.
Absolutely! We've made this point here before: businesses DO NOT pay ANY taxes. This is a fault found in most liberals especially evidenced when they crow about the evil big corporations and their profits. Guess what? They have an obligation to generate as much legal profit as possible. Any time the government lays on a new tax or fee it just gets passed along to the consumer. Hate Exxon-Mobil and the rest of the evil oil companies? Sure, let's slap an additional 5% tax on them. Guess what what happens at the pump. Likely a 5% increase in the cost. GD continues:
[Third] By eliminating income taxes on people and businesses, we remove the majority of Congress' power to manipulate people, business, and the economy and the lobbying trade would decrease significantly. Think about it, most lobbyists are used to get "sweetheart tax deals" that favor their business, company, or industry. If taxes are no longer levied on income, there is very little to lobby for and return to a system of limited federal government that was originally envisioned.
I'll take this one step further: the incentive for local and state governments will be to generate the sales of products, services and products in their jurisdictions. More sales equals more tax revenue.
So thanks for the email, GD - keep up the good work. And I wasn't advocating a particular fix to the system, but one thing that I'm in agreement with: the system needs changing now.

A Plan Worth Considering

I've always been a fan of simplifying the tax code.  A flat tax.  A segmented tax. Whatever.  Make it simpler you gain a few things, including a reduction of required government oversight in the form of the I.R.S.  It may be possible to get a greater compliance level by citizens and finally, it may allow for more people to understand and feel a fiscal responsibility in out government.  With no skin in the game, it's easy to admire what the government gives you and generally speaking, to cross the line into an income range that gets hit by taxes can usually set one back behind where they were before they were required to pay taxes.

Well, two senators have introduced a plan to simply the tax code. Senators Judd Gregg (R-NH) and Ron Wyden (D-OR) would lower the number of marginal income tax rates to three: 15%, 25% and 35%. It also would eliminate the AMT, the bane of many in the middle class.  The plan would reduce the corporate taxes into a single, 24% bracket with the exception that small businesses (those under $1M in receipts) can expense all inventory and equipment costs.  Note that these two have done what a President Obama-appointed task force has yet to do: put forward a plan worth considering.  Paul Volcker was appointed the chair of the task force by President Obama last March - nothing has been heard from them - maybe they're busy "creating and saving" their own jobs.  There have been some other details released - all of which form a reasonable basis to start from in the revision of our tax code.  We'll have to wait and see if the rest of Congress has the stomach to tackle this.  Heaven knows they don't have the stomach to tackle 'Puter's plan even though someone should.

Social Security Reform, 'Puter Style

'Puter's going to do it. He's reaching out to touch the third rail of politics: Social Security. Here goes.

Social Security is bankrupting the United States. Our promises made significantly outstrip our ability to pay. Instead of pretending the problem doesn't exist, Washington needs to man up and deal with it. 'Puter's got a proposal.

First, let's start calling Social Security by its real name: Old Age, Survivors and Disability Insurance ("OASDI"). You may recognize OASDI from such places as your pay stub, wondering what the heck OASDI was and why you were being charged for it. 'Puter would hammer home the "Insurance" portion of OASDI. Social Security/OASDI is an insurance program for our quasi-elderly, ensuring no one starves to death on the street. It was never intended to be a substitute for sensible retirement savings.

Given that Social Security/OASDI is an insurance program, it is logical that it be means tested. That is, if you can provide yourself a comfortable, non-starvation based retirement ('Puter's looking at you public sector pension recipients), you get reduced benefits, or none at all. Put another way, if you don't have an occurrence of an insurable event (i.e., you're not destitute or nearly so), you can't collect. Just be happy you're well off enough not to need the anti-starvation program.

'Puter can already hear the plaintive cries of Republicans ("I paid in for years and now I can't get my money, dammit!) and union members ("I paid in and just because I have gold plated retired benefits, I get nothing, dammit!"). It's just not fair, consarnit! Stop whining. It is fair. Think of OASDI as auto insurance. You pay in for years, and may never use it. But, if you need it, it's there.

'Puter would determine the median income level of current retirees receiving Social Security/OASDI benefits as a baseline, and adjust the income threshold from there based upon political considerations, but hopefully treating that level as either a cap, or the starting point for a benefit phaseout. For all Americans not currently retired, 'Puter would immediately start the means testing. For current retired Social Security/OASDI recipients, 'Puter would have a 5 year phase in of the means testing, so retirees could adjust their expectations accordingly, or die.

Second, raise the retirement age. When Social Security/OASDI was enacted, the retirement age was above the average life expectancy. Now, the retirement age is significantly below the average life expectancy. The retirement age needs to be raised, and the concept of early retirement phased out altogether. 'Puter would immediately raise the retirement age to 70 for all Americans under 50. He'd eliminate the early retirement option for everyone who is not currently retired. 'Puter would require reexamination of the retirement age every 10 years thereafter and adjust as needed to promote fairness and maintain solvency.

'Puter awaits his Congressional Budget Office score.

Domestic Abuser

And 'Puter's not just talking about the Democrats' amazing technicolor stimulus package, health care reform and the jobs bill

Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV) stated yesterday: "Men, when they're out of work, tend to become abusive."

Well, Sen. Reid, you'd better tell your wife to start toughening up for her daily beat downs, because it appears as if you'll be unemployed come November.

Frank Discussion on Hot Dogs

And now hot dogs are the deadliest thing in the world.

All right, parents, take the Czar’s quick advice.

If your kid is too small to eat hot dogs without wolfing them down sideways, cut their hot dogs into small pieces for them. Serve them on a plate with ketchup and relax.

So it becomes the hot dog industry’s fault when a parent gives a three-year-old a footlong ballpark frank on a bun with mustard and then walks away?

Do not live in fear.

Unreliable Rights...

Your Mandarin found this little item while reading the Political Grapevine at Fox News.com:

And finally, the BBC reports a woman trying to post a help wanted ad was told her request for "reliable and hard-working" applicants wasn't allowed because it could be discriminatory and offensive to unreliable people.

The same company, part of the British government's Department of Work and Pensions, also rejected a hair salon's advertisement for a "junior stylist" because it discriminated against older people even though the term "junior" refers to a level of qualification rather than age.


Yes, that is correct, we wouldn’t want to offend those who may be reliability-challenged. Your Mandarin is appalled that this once great country that some 70 years ago fought back the Nazi invasion has fallen into this sorry state. My greatest fear is that the US is headed along this very same path.

Monday, February 22, 2010

'Puter Ab Est

'Puter's been offline today as a result of consipring events. Primarily, Spawn the Lesser has a double ear infection and a wicked cold and was, hence, home.

Now 'Puter fears Spawn the Lesser's younger, haler immune system has transmogrified the viral wee beasties into some sort of living dead death cold, complete with pounding sinus headache, and passed it on to 'Puter.

'Puter hopes to be able to rejoin the other Gormogons in time for Taco Night at the Castle's cantina tomorrow.

This Is Just As Stupid

Although not as financially disastrous as Cap and Trade, know what's just as dumb? Preparing a resolution that global warming is not a possibility.

But that's exactly what South Dakota just did.

The whole point of our condemnation of Cap and Trade is that there is not sufficient evidence of global warming to jam a ton of wealth-redistributing taxation down our throats. And, just likewise, there is no evidence that nothing is happening to our climate either.

Science is reacting to the IPCC mess. It is our hope that scientists stop and offer to start their investigations over again: either disprove it and we move on, or prove it conclusively with good data collection. Then we can analyze the results and determine good policy.

But writing off the possibility of climate change with legislation is the wrong direction to go. And indeed, the Czar expects this is less about good scientific skepticism and more about embarrassing Al Gore.

Post script: can someone explain why the word astrological appears in HR 1009?

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Israel Upstages Iran on PR Front

Super secret operative EC writes in with new from the field:

Your Czarness:

I know you follow this kind of thing, but you may have missed this item.

Looks to me as if the Israelis just moved the goal posts on the Iranians. Looking at the picture, I'll bet these dealies are stealthy, which would counter the anti-aircraft missiles the Russians just sold to the Iranians. Sure looks like a BIG Global Hawk.

Advantage over an ICBM is no launch plume and they don't have to follow a ballistic path to target. The stiletto rather than the bludgeon. And, with this size, they can carry multiple munitions.

Another thought: for a twenty hour flight, you just change operators back at the joystick.


Miss it? That is exactly why we have operatives like EC who supply us with no end of information. EC will be rewarded for this bit of information with Antiques Roadshow ‘10 for the Wii.

The Czar replied that this weapon is pretty much a PR blow for Iran, who is planning to announce its own unmanned weapons system capable of reaching Israel shortly. Our hunch, of course, is that Israel’s will be able to get off the ground.

Bizarre News of the Day

Walter Koenig’s son Andrew, who appeared in Growing Pains, is missing and feared dead by suicide.

This is perhaps the strangest sentence the Czar wrote this week.

Glad You Liked It?

Your Mandarin is pleased to share with you this piece of fan mail from Gormogon operative DF:

Good one Centurion, liked it, liked it.
Keep that binary humor coming!


Well DF, all I can say to that is:

0100100100100000011010000110111101110000011001010010000001110100011010000110100101110011001000000110100101110011001000000110100101101110001000000111001001100101011100110111000001101111011011100111001101100101001000000111010001101111001000000111010001101000011001010010000001100011011000010111001001110100011011110110111101101110001000000111010001101000011000010111010000100000010010010010000001110000011011110111001101110100011001010110010000100000011101000110100001100101001000000110111101110100011010000110010101110010001000000110010001100001011110010010111000100000001000000100111101110100011010000110010101110010011101110110100101110011011001010010000001001001001000000110100001100001011101100110010100100000011011100110111100100000011010010110010001100101011000010010000001110111011010000110000101110100001000000111100101101111011101010010000001100001011100100110010100100000011101000110000101101100011010110110100101101110011001110010000001100001011000100110111101110101011101000010111000100000001000000100001001110101011101000010000001100001011100110010000001100001011011000111011101100001011110010111001100100000011101110110010100100000011010000110111101110000011001010010000001110100011010000110000101110100001000000111100101101111011101010010000001100011011011110110111001110100011010010110111001110101011001010010000001110100011011110010000001100110011011110110110001101100011011110111011100100000011101000110100001100101001000000111001101101001011101000110010100100000011000010110111001100100001000000110000101101100011101110110000101111001011100110010000001100110011001010110010101101100001000000110011001110010011001010110010100100000011101000110111100100000011001000111001001101111011100000010000001110101011100110010000001100001001000000110110001101001011011100110010100101110

We now return you to our regular Gormogon programming, so sit still.

Shot Across the Bow

Your Mandarin would like to share with you this correspondence from Gormogon operative GD regarding the Iranian Navy post:

Also note: the C-803 surface-to-surface missile this thing sports is capable carrying of a nuclear warhead. If I were a burgeoning nuclear state, once I got my weapons program off the ground, step 2 would be figuring out how to deploy said weapons. Surface-to-surface missiles (and, potentially, nuclear torpedoes) are perfect for warding off those pesky CVBG's (carrier battlegroups). Not to mention bringing an interesting glow to any target within 750km of a beach.
This is a very interesting and insightful observation.


As a reward for writing in you may have already received in the past an entry form for the Publisher’s Clearing House sweepstakes and an envelope stuffed with expired coupons for ladies “delicates.”

Hopefully prizes like this will incentivize you other slackers out there to take the time and write in. You never know, it may pay off, but I doubt it.

Even If You Are Not A Racist, You Definitely Are

One thing that comes up a lot at the Castle is the intelligence of our readers. If there were a quantifiable way to assess the intelligence of someone, some sort of quotient perhaps, you would probably find that the combined intelligence of all twelve or Salon.com’s readers likely approaches the intelligence of any one of our readers.

Another case in point. Who else writes letters like we get? Long-time operative SC writes in over the weekend barely able to contain her laughter over an article in the APA Monitor (DeAngelis, T. Unmasking ‘racial micro aggressions.’ Monitor, 40(2)). The article decides that non-racist people like you, SC, and the Czar are in fact inherently racist people. How so?

Because we make little decisions, actions, and gestures that all reveal what cruel, racist bastards we are. For example, we make microassaults, such as—and we quote directly here—“Conscious and intentional actions or slurs, such as using racial epithets, displaying swastikas or deliberately serving a white person before a person of color in a restaurant.” This is micro? The Czar needs to check, but it has been a while since he displayed a swastika or served anyone in a restaurant. Actually, never.

We also are all guilty—because the author says so—of microinsults (which again are pretty blatant insults directed at others of a different race) and microvalidations, such as—ahem—asking foreigners in what country they were born, thereby suggesting they do not come from here and certainly do not belong.

Okay, this is your usual pop-psychology bullcrap intended to make each of us feel stupid about ourselves. Actually, the Czar might argue that proponents of this theory (explored in detail in the article) are themselves the obvious bigots by assuming we all do this stuff. Like the guy the guy in the swimming pool who laughs and says we all pee in the pool, right? And then finds everyone quickly inching away from him? But who cares what the Czar thinks: let SC handle this heavy workload.

SC speculates that there is, of course, a shade of truth in all this. But only to a tiny amount: she writes that since most people want to be seen as open-minded and non-discriminatory, they eagerly say well-intentioned things that come out awkward or even goofy. Complimenting an Asian’s command of English may strike some as offensive, but it was really done to be encouraging. SC adds that most white people are very sensitive about offending others of color: but this is the result of pressure from accepting the blame of non-whites for racism than it is actually caused by being closet racists ourselves. In other words, we say stuff because we know we can look like jerks sometimes...not because we are, in fact, jerks.

“The core issue that comes to my mind is, Where does this end? Nanoaggression? Picoaggression?”SC also asks why the article focuses on white people doing things bad? Why are victims always people of color? Why are the perpetrators always white? Is it not possible, SC asks, “that I, as a white person, might not be micro-victimized by a person of color who assumes that I am uncomfortable in his/her presence, threatened by his/her appearance, or resentful of his/her acquisition of equal rights? Of course it is.” Hah! Back in college, the Czar realized that people who reject the concept of reverse racism are themselves, in fact, closet racists. Since then, he has studied and watched subsequent comments by people who deny racism against whites, and found the perpetrators continue to demonstrate all manners of racist, bigoted, and prejudicial comments about whites. Take Jesse Jackson or Al Sharpton as good examples of people who reject reverse racism, and then feel they have a blank check to make bone-headed statements about whites that reveal truer feelings.

SC also adds that micoinvalidation and microinsults cover such a broad sweep of situations (including harmless ones like critiquing performance or snarkiness) that they inherently spread over all people of all races. Basically, as the Czar understands the article and her point, these things are only bad when white people do them.

SC again: “The core issue that comes to my mind is, Where does this end? If I can perpetrate microaggression without even realizing or intending to do so, does my very existence constitute nanoaggression? Picoaggression? Further, once we have accepted the concept of racial microaggression as prevalent and problematic, society will never again be able to discern which outcomes are valid and which are racist. Chicago PD lacking enough minority officers? Must be microaggression. Disagree with Mrs. Obama regarding whether her husband ‘can get shot going to the gas station’ because he is a black man? You are micro-invalidating her reality.”

SC knows what the Czar’s response has to be: those who play the race game always leave a way to take it to the next level. And they have to: because once you start pointing out the illogic inherent in the big picture, you have to take it down a step and make it about the person. This article is a warning that folks are now able to take it down to the next level and attack your unconscious behaviors. Okay, so by and large, white people are not racist? Well, maybe not as a group...but you are. You say you are not? Okay, so some of your behavior is. And yeah, although the Czar thinks nano-aggression will be next, maybe not your behavior so much as facets of your behavior.

Racism is a hydra that cannot be killed, because a lot of people need it kept alive solely to screw the system. The Czar will conclude with this thought: racism is not subtle. It is never covert, arcane, or subliminal. Racism, folks, is always blatant, ugly, and nasty. You never have to hunt for it or discover it buried deep beneath several layers—if a guy is a racist, or harbors racist thoughts, it never takes very much to get them to come out front and center. Racism is a macro disorder.

Re: Fire Sale

Gormogon operative KM, strategically located close to the geographic center of the US (closer than us, anyway, so he gets the job), writes in.

Most High and Honorable Czar,

I don’t live anywhere near Tracy, California, thankfully, but hasn’t there been an entry on our phone bills for 911 forever? Haven’t the customers (coincidentally also taxpayers) already paid for 911?

I guess that’s just for the actual 911 phone service. They are proposing to charge for responding to a use of the phone service. That reminds me of the State of Missouri (Misery?) proposing a special tax for Sheriffs or Highway Patrol a few years ago. I always thought the taxes already paid should have covered such basic services. With the return of the season formerly known as Winter I expect they’ll propose a tax to fund snow removal and road salt. Then they’ll tell us they need more money to actually put the salt on the roads.

What a racket. Can government officials be brought up on RICO charges? I can think of no more “Corrupt Organization” than Congress.


Some thoughts:

1. The Czar knows some things about 911 centers that most people do not. First, they are incredibly expensive to run and operate: you obviously need to vet people very well. With millions of phone calls coming through our country’s 911 centers, only rarely do you hear stories of screw ups, rude dispatchers, or abhorrent practices. Generally, the news focuses on morons who call in trying to get their data back when their spreadsheet crashes. Because of this, 911 personnel enjoy a high competence rate in our book. Second, the technology used to handle this call flow is ridiculously complex. Your average call center tolerates a one-to-two minute on-hold time; a 911 center cannot, and must switch a call incredibly fast to an attendent. Sometimes, that attendent is not even the right one: if you call in on a cell phone, the call naturally goes to the closest 911 center. The 911 attendent then transfers you to the one more appropriate for your needs (county or state police or even FBI), which happens flawlessly even though the technologies between the different call centers is probably quite different. This is amazing stuff.

2. So the easiest way to pay for competent technology that works is a couple of bucks on your phone bill each month. Incredibly, that surcharge covers these costs (it is not a tax, per se, because only people with working phones have to pay it; 911 calls are still free even from a cell phone). And 911 service, it is easy to say, benefits the entire community with lower crime and fewer fatalities or disastrous fires. Everyone benefits from 911, and it costs a few bucks per month. Sign us up!

3. The Tracy, California, plan actually has nothing to do with providing 911 services: in fact, one can make the argument is has nothing to do with paramedics, either. The city is simply charging a few hundred bucks each time an ambulance rolls. The money does not go to the 911 center (which as KM suspects is fully covered in the phone bill surcharge). The money does not technically go to the fire department; instead, it goes to pay down a $9 million shortfall in the budget. So your call to 911 now helps pay for the Fourth of July firework extravaganza, the repairs on the park district building roof, and almost certainly public sector union pensions.

4. What GD objected to, and the Czar as well, is that no one wants to get hit with a $300 or $400 bill. So that domestic disturbance next door? Or the old man who falls in the street? Or the chest pains you woke up with? Nobody will call, in hopes that someone else will call first and eat the bill. The idea is incredibly stupid, and Tracy residents will either love the consequences, or they will start voting for city leaders who can subtract better than they can add. And every resident paying $48 a month to help pay down the $9 million budget gap? Well, that is a tax, now, is it not?

5. Regarding RICO and Congress. Tough one: incompetence is a great defense against RICO. But yes, RICO has taken down many government officials.

Saturday, February 20, 2010

RIP: Alexander Haig

General Alexander Haig passed away this weekend at the age of 85.

For most of us, he was the first lesson in how a strong Secretary of State could influence foreign policy for the better. President Reagan picked an extraordinary individual who proved right for the job.

His influence will be missed and is sorely needed still. Our thoughts go to the family and friends.

In The نیروی دریایی.....

In what is another disturbing advancement in Iranian military growth, the Associated Press is reporting that this thugocracy has launched its first locally built naval destroyer.

According to the Iranians, the new shipped named the Jamaran is armed with anti-ship, surface-to-air missiles, torpedoes, and a naval cannon. The ship is capable of a top speed of 30 knots and can launch and recover a helicopter.

And if you are wondering, Jamaran is the name of the town that was the home of Ayatollah Khomeini during his lifetime.

I can’t wait to see the non-reaction and/or the denial of the Obama administration that this is no big deal and that those crushing sanctions we have imposed are working.

And to those who think that this is not a real threat to our ships patrolling the Persian Gulf, just remember that it was a rubber dingy packed with explosives that killed 17 U.S. Navy personnel and blew a huge hole in the side of the U.S.S. Cole.

What Global Warming Denialists Really Want

Listen carefully.

The media, and in turn the scientific community, seem to be creating this specious battle between Global Warming Supporters and the group known as Denialists.

The real jackasses are a tiny portion found on both sides. On the GW side, there exists a vociferous minority who want to associated anyone not 100% sold on this stuff as mouth-foaming fascists too busy squishing their own feces together in hopes of making fire. Similarly, on the Denialist side, there are some pretty obnoxious folks mockingly burning down research stations simply because someone said it snowed in Buffalo in January.

Fortunately, there are plenty of more rational, good people on both sides who do not automatically dismiss the other side’s sanity. This post is dedicated to them.

Indeed, this essay is intended to address something rarely seen or heard: why do the denialists deny? More specifically, what is it they are denying?

A lot of the pro-GW literature—particularly on the scientific blogs—seems to dwell on a couple of things, both of which are wrongly bigoted. The first is the oft-repeated phrase “A trick to hide the decline.” The second is basic politics.

The first famous phrase is often held up by Denialists as something demanding explanation. Know what? It does demand explanation, and frankly the scientific world has bent way over backwards trying to rationalize it. Look, it would be a lot simpler if scientists agreed to say “Hey, one scientist said that, not all of us. We think he was wrong to say what he said in that email. Now let us move on.” Instead, most of the science blogs keep trying to define the word “trick.” See, they say, people in science use math a lot, and math relies on a lot of tricks! What he said was not so bad. We all use tricks in math all the time.

Here is your first news flash. We know this. Carrying the one is a trick we all know. Accountants use tricks all the time—if two identical columns of numbers do not add up to the same totals, you subtract the smaller number from the larger. If the result is evenly divisible by nine, the cause of the imbalance is that a number was keyed in backward (84, instead of 48) in one of the columns when adding. That is a trick. It is perfectly legitimate.

But the objection the Denialists have is on the phrase “hide the decline.” We have yet to hear a clear explanation for (a) why there is a decline in temperatures and (b) why we need to hide it. We care little for what the trick was to hide a decline in temperatures; rather, this is all about why we need a trick at all. Should the facts not be what they are?

Second, we know that a lot of the support for GW is basic politics. And we do not like it. Scientists are much, much better at pure research than the average American. But—brace for it—when it comes to politics, the average American is vastly better than scientists. Most scientists come off (genuinely or wrongly) as looking like academia-centric liberal weenies. Not all: there are some strongly conservative scientists who are well-respected (de Grasse Tyson, most notably). But follow us closely here: when a scientist openly cops an attitude along the lines of “Bush was the worst president imaginable because I am a scientist and am smart enough to know this better than you,” (and come on, scientific bloggers—you are sounding like this and you know it), you reveal that your statement is both visceral and liberal. It has nothing to do with science, and discredits you faster than anything else.

Therefore, comments that dismiss Denialists as vapid, under-developed Republicans who want to force your kids to become Pentecostal toungue-speakers and eliminate Darwinism from schools tend to reveal that your own opinions on GW are not motivated by calm reason and acceptance of inquiries, but pure hatred of the other side. Our website here, for one, has done an excellent job of blowing apart the myth that Republicans hate science and Democrats love it more. The reality is far scarier than you dare admit.

One big hurdle the Denialists have never seen crossed is the accuracy of the data source. This is, ironically, the result of good scientific education. If there is one thing the Denialists know all to well, is that science is never settled until it is a Law. F=ma, absolutely, but remember that Newtonian mechanics is not a complete description. It is a theory. You did a very good job in educating us that simply declaring something to be so, without it fulfilling the basics of a Law or even a good Theory, is usually a sign of pure bunk.

So how about it? Why does GW theory fail to provide accurate models? We know that weather and climate depends on models, and models are great. Models held explain Relativity. But a model must be able to explain past events as well as predict future events. Most climatological models we see are less than 20 years old; they have not survived the test of time. And when one model states that we should expect severe hurricanes in 2008, we notice when that fails to happen. When the same model predicted even more disastrous hurricanes in 2009, we are not morons to suggest, respectfully, that your models may be incorrect.

Likewise, when similar models suffer simple refutation, such as glacier melt, accelerated desertification, polar bear extinction, and so on, we begin to ask even harder questions. One of the hardest questions asked was can we see the data? This is how Pons and Fleischmann were discredited: they shared their data and results could not be replicated. Wakefield was another who shared his data and underwent excoriation when his source data was shown to be manipulated as well as flawed.

So what does it say when the original data—the data upon which so many subsequent studies, confirmations, and consensus were built—is hidden from view? And then declared lost? And then emails are uncovered which reveal the data corrupt, wrong, destroyed, and tampered? Does this build confidence in your theory, or destroy it?

Yes, we know that the common defense is that Denialists are merely cherry-picking our counter-evidence. “You can’t look at polar bears and say that their survival rates disprove the whole theory. You can’t say that a cold wave hitting Europe disproves the whole theory.” Look, we know how anomolies work. But cherry-picking exceptions is completely identical to the pro-GW approach of using anecdotes to bolster the claim: polar ice is diminishing in Antarctica. Fish populations are dying. CO2 levels are rising. These are all interesting and alarming events: but you have yet to convince us that they all mesh together perfectly and inter-connect flawlessly. No, do not bother saying this is too much to ask. Relativity, Plate Tectonics, QM, Evolution, Thermodynamics, Electromagnetism, and on and on are all examples where discoveries, mathematics, and anecdotes all perfectly plug in and attach to a consistent and logical framework. GW seems to be a collection of...of stuff, with no rhyme or reason, with all sorts of things jumbled together and slapped into a horribly ungainly frame.

But meteorology is different? Not at all. The Czar, for one, has a formal background in many things, of which meteorology is a component. He knows the difference between climate and weather, for example. He knows that adiabatic lapse rates, for example, are logical and consistent and meet the criteria he describes above. Frontal formation and transitions, precipitation, hydrologic cycles—all form the core of meteorology and climatology, and all are perfectly consistent, simple, and elegant.

Further, when we hear outlandish statements that cold waves are the result of GW, and that heavy precipitation is the result of GW, and that record snowfall is the result of GW, we really question whether you are stopping to think before you speak to the press. Yeah, some science makes no sense at first: all galaxies are moving away from the others, so that if you pick a random galaxy, every other galaxy appears to be moving away from it? But then you paint dots on a balloon and inflate the balloon...and suddenly the crazy concept is perfectly obvious. We are awaiting these analogies and demonstrations. Because until they arrive, you look foolish.

Maybe if your data checked out. But day after day comes another revelation of a flawed study, or that temperatures stopped increasing, or that something was incorrectly recorded. Maybe you should just stop and start over from scratch with a fresh approach. In football, this is called a punt. Science tries them all the time, but evidently only in other fields.

Hence, in a nutshell, here is what the average Denialist actually believes (and get ready to be surprised at how off-base your assessment of our concerns could be):

Denialists believe that climate science is a new and emerging field, with new discoveries and realizations frequently changing basic assumptions. We understand that observations (in the water, on the ground, in the air) conflict and often indicate a fluid and changing nature. We fully accept that some temperatures may be increasing, that atmospheric composition could be affected by man, and that these have long-term effects which may be disastrous for millions of people.

But we do not believe that science remotely understands (yet) the degree to which any of this is the case. We encourage science to get this information. But with recent events calling into question the integrity of the data and people involved in foundational studies, we expect science to stop and start over with current technology, better tools, and smarter approaches than anything we have seen. In short, we do not believe you have the evidence you think you have simply because your models, methods, and mechanics are far too new. We want you to go back, as science is supposed to be willing to do, and start the data collection over.

We further strongly disbelieve (in increasing numbers) that world governments have information not available to science or the public which warrants specific actions and legislation involving the transfer of trillions of dollars between countries, from taxpayers to government coffers, and from public trading companies to privately held organizations. We are fully aware that some of politics’s largest vocal proponents for GW are financially dependent upon science proving a desired outcome and suppressing contrary evidence—whether or not you are personally doing this is immaterial. If you are not, congratulations for following proper scientific protocols; if you are, more alarmingly, we understand why you might do this: we also put our families’s needs first. We also do not understand why, regardless of your ethical stance, so many scientists would be willing to support or endorse such a government-led enterprise when government is in a less-qualified position to rule conclusively than you, yourselves, on the correct actions that follow a successful proof of GW.

And this is basically it. You may well think that your own position is stronger, and that the situation is far more complex that this position statement. But you might also notice that the summation above is simple, logical, and rational. Perhaps some of it has been disproven. Possibly all of it has been refuted; but then you should pause and reflect on this sobering thought—why are we not hearing about this? Why do we keep noticing our questions being ignored? Why do we feel increasingly shut out or deceived? What can you, as pro-GW scientists, do to better inform us in an equally calm, logical, and rational way?

Here’s a quick thought. If, for a moment, you think the evidence is there but we are not smart enough to understand it, or if you think we are hearing it but just not comprehending it, or that you do not have time to reduce it down to our levels, than you are the cause of our disbelief. If on the other hand you recognize that Americans, by and large, are smart enough to understand the facts, and that there are simple and reasonable explanations and answers to ease our concerns, please note that you need to start speaking up.

Even for scientists, if no one is buying your product, the smart management team never blames the consumer. And to be clear, very few people are buying the Global Warming product. Fewer each day.