Sunday, January 31, 2010

No Go For Launch

Well, you can’t say you weren’t warned. NASA was saddened to learn that President Obama’s budget calls for the cancellation of the Constellation + Ares project, which meant to return Americans to the moon.

The Czar is wondering what says all those pro-science gearheads who jumped up and down for joy when Obama won. The science blogs were beside themselves in frenzy, going on about how baaaaad George Bush was, and how Obama will dump trillions of dollars into flying cars and colonies on Europa. And now, even less than a month after Obama assured NASAns that he would not abandon them, he cut the program.

Conservative bloggers are pleased, incorrectly assuming this saves an amazing amount of money. Most folks do not realize that NASA is among the most affordable of government programs, and takes up the tiniest sliver of taxpayer money. The president could cut a fraction of the budget of Health, Education, and Welfare and double funding for NASA. Like most of the President’s attempts to save money, it adds up to nothing.

Liberal bloggers are all rationalizing the effect, saying that he did this knowing that Congress will disallow the cut. Yeah. Historically, it ain’t the GOP who cuts NASA funding, but the Dems. Best comment on a blog? This is all Bush’s fault for spending all the money that NASA could have had!!!!11!!. Except, jackass, it was Bush who started the Constellation program in the first place and gave it the money it had.

Seriously, can these folks crack open a book?

Illinois Primary Watch

Tuesday is a primary day in Illinois.

Two races that are drawing enormous attention are for governor and for US senator. The Czar lives in Illinois when not at the Castle, and is presenting your choices. The Mandarin is welcome to do so as well if his opinions differ from the Czar.










































































For Governor
Pat Quinn (D-inc)Pat was Lieutenant Governor when Rocking Rod Blagojevich was fired by overwhelming demand; this made Pat Quinn the acting governor until November 2010 when he can run for the position genuinely. The incumbent made a lot of noise (a lot) when Rod was governor, openly demanding for the knucklehead to step down. He also assured Illinoians that he would undo the ridiculous executive orders introduced by Rod, balance the highly red budget, and make the world safe again. Well, he got his wish: Rod got kicked off the job and the locks were wisely changed. However, to everyone’s chagrin, Governor Pat has done astonishingly little, has barely lifted a finger to undo Rod’s gross damages, and wrings his hands over the budget. Evidently, popping in a strip mall ribbon cuttings and speaking to kids about what lieutenant governor does was a lot easier than being governor governor. Polls are mixed right now, and while he enjoys some celebrity as the guy who helped take down Blago, he stands a real chance of losing the primary.
Dan Hynes (D)What could be better than to run against your best friend, Pat Quinn? Dan Hynes learned that politics has no friends, and had his ass handed to him during their first debate. Dan then got very ugly, calling Pat an incompetent fool, and even managed to find ancient video of Chicago’s late mayor Harold Washington blatantly ruing the day he hired a tool like Quinn, and wishing Quinn would go away. Since than, Dan has soared up in the polls, but has done very little to establish what he would do as governor. Many voters see him as a clone of Pat: nice enough, but ineffectual in an executive job.
Adam Andrzejewski (R)Boy, the Czar likes this guy. Young, fresh, vibrant, and cheerful, Adam is barely known except for the fact his name wackier than Blagojevich’s. Fortunately, this has been working in his favor. Angie-eff-sky has focused his advertising on both his tough name but tougher attitude. His campaign is also a rarity in that independent researchers conclude that among the others, his math actually checks out! His plans to cut taxes, get out of business’s way on job creation, and eliminating nonsense state entitlement programs appears to genuinely check out financially. The Czar is voting for Adam. He just luvs this guy and his message of practical, simple, conservative reform.
Bill Brady (R)Bill is one of those also-rans who was defeated by candidates who were in turn defeated. He has returned for this election promising basically what he promised before. If forced to name the candidates, the average Illinois resident would not include him. In fact, the Czar forgot he was even running until researching this post. Shoot, even his online photo is faded by the sun and water damaged.
Kirk Dillard (R)State Senator Kirk is a front-runner in the primaries. A pro-reform candidate and advocate of more transparent government, he suffers from a vocal and blatant endorsement of Barack Obama in 2008, and potentially RINO tendencies. He has not effectively responded to these charges.
Andy McKenna (R)There is one in every election, and this race has Andy. Former chairman of the Illinois GOP, he has the doom-voiced narrator pointing out how terrible and awful all the other candidates, never once offering his plan, vision, or identity for Illinois. On the one hand, this makes him an empty suit to many voters; on the other, he has been linked to now-incarcerated former Governor George Ryan, and is or was associated with many unpopular GOP politicians when the Illinois GOP self-destructed under his watch. Blagojevich can thank McKenna for six wonderfully corrupt years. His intense negative campaigning (and absent positive campaigning) ought to see him defeated in the primaries.
Dan Proft (R)Dan Proft is also running for governor. Whoever the heck he is. But sadly, those that do know him care little for him: he was involved in some questionable contract dealings as a media consultant with the corrupt and decadent once-mob-run town of Cicero, Illinois. He has answered some of these criticisms quite well; he has failed to address all of the questions regarding his involvement for almost $600,000 in Cicero contracts. The Czar distrusts media consultants as politicians, since these guy know how to play the media to cover lots of badness up. Check out the just-got-home-from-a-rave look in the photo.
Jim Ryan (R)George Ryan was governor, and running against Blagojevich, when the former was arrested on corruption charges. Jim Ryan, who is absolutely no relation to George, thought it a great idea to take his place. Unfortunately, studies showed that nearly all GOP voters thought he was George, and this allowed Blago a massive victory. Ryan, at the time, was a sound, solid politician who probably might have made a good governor. Unfortunately, since that time, he has been positively associated with famous racketeer Tony Rezko for campaign financing. The Ryan-Rezko partnership is defunct, but its taint is killing Ryan in the polls. However, he is likely to win the primary.
For Senator
Alexi Giannoulias (D)Current Illinois State Treasurer, he was elected as a good-looking popular guy super-cozy with Obama. However, as Obama’s star has faded, Alexi has dropped in popularity a bit. His family bank has been positively linked to questionable financial dealings (involving Tony Rezko and other highly worrisome names), and auditors recently attacked the bank and required massive paybacks to customers. The general feeling is that the treasurer comes from a banking family either corrupt or incompetent or both. He will be playing the Obama card heavily. Tragically, his campaign is relying heavily on the success of his Operation Bright Start (a college savings program) that has come under fire for losing a tremendous amount of money for its participants on obviously foolish investments. The tragedy of course is that his opponents are using the same ads to portray him (probably correctly) as a financial idiot too hung up on his good looks to realize it.
David Hoffman (D)David is the Inspector General for the City of Chicago. Kind of a nice story: he got so tired of investigating Illinois government corruption that he decided to run for office himself and fix it. A lot of good politicians start out this way. He genuinely seems to be an honest politician that is goal-oriented to help Illinois residents; he is also far behind Alexi in the polls. Why? He’s not Obama’s friend, like Alexi is. In fact, he might put a lot of those friends behind bars. Good luck, David!
Cheryle Jackson (D)Cheryle is the president and CEO of the Chicago Urban League. Popular with black Chicago voters (and having a slew of endorsements from black urban leaders), she used to work for Blagojevich as deputy chief of staff of communications; however, horrified by what she saw in his stay, she resigned early in his administration and became an outspoken critic of his governorship. Unfortunately, she is also trailing far behind Alexi in the polls, despite handling herself strongly and aggressively in debates against him. Frankly, for all the jazz about Alexi, Ms. Jackson has him beat by a mile in the looks department.
Mark Kirk (R)Leading by a mile is Mark, a current US Representative. He has taken significant flack for voting with Democrats on some major issues, notably cap and trade—the latter requiring him to make a full confession that he did not read the bill and really had no idea what it was; he voted in favor of it merely because he saw so many yes votes. He has since pledged to do his job properly, and the facts are now bearing that out. Is he a RINO? A lot of people suspect he is, but like Scott Brown in Massachusetts, he is a better option than Alexi. He is casually mentioning his service record in his campaigning, but the fact is he is a very distinguished officer in the armed forces who saw an ungodly amount of combat as a pilot. The Czar will be voting for him, and he is expected to win the primary by a landslide.
Andy Martin (?)It is difficult to write about Andy Martin and have readers take you seriously. Andy has run for several offices over the years and never gets elected. Not surprisingly: his platform consists of him promising to throw the Jews out of government as well as claiming his opponent, Mark Kirk, as a de facto pedophile. No, he does not mean it—he claims Mark failed to be more outspoken when Foley was arrested for having sex with a male page. But he says it (every fifteen goddamn minutes on the radio) because you cannot be sued for making things up about a political candidate. Anyway, his campaign is so hilariously bad that radio stations offer apologies for playing his ads, and the Illinois Republican Party has requested he no longer claim himself a member of that party (which he defiantly continues to do). Andy is an ugly, sick, offensive wretch of a politician who will, one hopes, finally find another state to live in after this.


Stay tuned: keep in mind Illinois is a state that could very easily swing Republican in November!

Retreading old ground

We've told you all this before - if ANYONE reading this site believes this administration's claims about the Recovery Act (Stimulus bill) then please email me so I can set you straight. I've clipped the beginning of this article from the WSJ - worth reading as another data point that I keep harping on:

Recipients of economic-stimulus money said they had used the funds to pay 599,108 workers in the last quarter of 2009, fewer than the number of jobs they had reported to have created or saved in the first seven months after the plan was enacted.
The recipients' reports, published on the official government Web site recovery.gov late Saturday night, are likely to fuel further controversy over the impact of the $787 billion package, as Democrats seek to craft new jobs-creation proposals to address the country's continued, high jobless rate.
Many opinion polls suggest that most voters do not believe the current stimulus program, which was passed last February, is working.
Stimulus recipients previously reported that they had directly "created or saved" 640,329 jobs by September 30, 2009, but their filings were widely criticized after it emerged that some people had reported saving jobs when they had actually spent the money on pay raises or paying employees who were not in danger of being laid off.
Does this mean that the Stimulus Bill actually fired 41,221 people in the latest reporting period?  No, what it really shows is that the government cannot create or save jobs.  This is a role for the private sector.  Leaders from Microsoft, Google and elsewhere all commented on the President's SOTU speech and basically told him to back off, get out of the way and let them work on creating jobs.

Happy 3,000, guys.

We shouldn’t let the passing of the Gormogons’ three-thousandth post (the Czar’s denunciation of robots) without a brief expression of pride (viz., “yay”) and a substantially longer note of thanks to the legions of you who, having stumbled upon the ostensible ravings of madmen and the in-house newsletter of a sinister time-and-globe-spanning conspiracy, have stuck around to enjoy the ride and wisely get on the good side of the conspiracy.

We’re constantly surprised at the amazing number of you, the intelligence of your correspondence, and the fact that you enjoy the madness as much as we do. So thanks, all. Stick around. Invite your friends. Follow us Twitter (see left). We’ve got lots of plans to make gormogons.com bigger, better, and oh yeah, weirder.

So, on behalf of Ghettoputer, GorT, the Czar, and the Mandarin, thanks much for all you do to immanentize the return for occultation of the Thirteenth Imam. You’re our huckleberries.

—孔夫子

P.S. Dat Ho & Sleestak thank you as well. Alas, despite the clamor for it, and Ghettoputer’s desire to make some extra cash, we cannot indenture them, though we appreciate the offers and Dat and Sleestak pray every night for deliverance from the dunge—er, servants’ quarters. Especially after Taco Night. Ghettoputer remains incapable of operating a tortilla.

Barack Milhous Obama?

Interesting attempt to get a handle on the President's psyche by Michael Knox Beran. Not sure it’s exactly right, but definitely worth pondering.
The weird calm with which Obama contemplates this electoral debacle is consonant with the apparent serenity with which he accommodates the irreconcilable political identities vying for preeminence in his mind. His closest analogue may be Richard Nixon. Nixon’s energy and drive were closely connected to his ability to draw strength from a submerged aspect of his nature which, however politically ruinous it might have been, was at the same time crucial to his political élan. Nixon struggled to keep the personal resentments that burned within him out of sight even as he fed on them; Obama has generally kept his own social-justice resentments under wraps even as they mysteriously fuel his appetite for power. No more than Nixon will Obama douse these smoldering embers; they are, it would seem, too intimately involved in his deepest political fantasies and satisfactions.

The PAK-FA has landed

So, Friday, the good folks at Sukhoi gave the first public test flight of the PAK-FA, which is an acronym meaning roughly “Advanced Aircraft System: Frontline Aviation.” The Sukhoi plane is officially called the T-50, so we’ll go with that name. Here’s the video they helpfully posted on YouTube.



Neat, right? Sort of an F-22 with a MiG-29 vibe. So, what’s the deal? Well, as our Mid-South operative “Dr. J” (he was awesome one-on-one against Larry Bird in that video game) writes in thusly:
I know I should spend less time paying attention to what’s going on in the world, but when I go to the FoxNews website, instead of going to Alessandra’s Bikini Shoot [at right, more modestly], my eyes shoot leftward, then downward and I see the consequences of bad policy move after bad policy move. And next to those ‘below the fold stories’ Alessandra just doesn’t win the mouse click faceoff.

The first story, “Russia’s Match to F-22.”

After decades of enjoying overwhelming air superiority, the congress’s timely decision to kill the F-22 program, due to ‘high cost’, ‘lack of a clear air to air mission due to delays in the Russian and Chinese 5th generation fighter programs’, the Russians announce the S-50, probably ready for action in 5 years.

The days of Maverick flipping a bird at a MiG while Inverted are over.

(Quotes are from the ever reliable wikipedia and the source being “Gates Announces Major Pentagon Priority Shifts.” CNN, 9 April 2009. Retrieved: 14 April 2009.)
The good doctor obviously remembers the full-blown freakout Confucius* threw about the Obama Administration’s closing the F-22 program (click the F-22 tag below).

So, is Confucius feeling vindicated and prophetic? Well, no. The PAK-FA competition has been going on for years. None of this is a surprise. And although Sukhoi and the Russians call the T-50 a fifth-generation plane, it’s not really clear how competitive the stealth, sensor integration, and other spooky stuff is with the Raptor’s. They’ve publicly said that they’re choosing performance over stealth (which could well be making a virtue of necessity), so that’s one factor. The other is that there exist real and lasting questions about whether the Russians can or will actually produce the T-50 any time soon, as that linked article from Reuben Johnson last year around this time describes.

Still, this is exactly the type of thing that you try and keep ahead of. We are, but for how long? Even if the T-50 proves to be inferior to our F-22s, how many can Russia—or especially China—field? The less high-tech they are, of course, the cheaper. So in some way it comes down to what the Russian government and their customers like India (and say Brazil, if they can sweet-talk them back into the game) are will to subsidize in development. If they want a Raptor-like plane, we’ll see a lot fewer. But if they decide that fourth-and-a-third- or fourth-and-a-half-generation is good enough, then maybe they can start cranking them out. They won’t build fifteen hundred, like the MiG-29, but the last I heard the requirement was something like 300. That’s probably doable, unless the industry can’t pull itself out of its decline. We're probably fine, but we won't know we're not until—one day all of a sudden—boom, their missiles start knocking our guys down at a bad moment because some genius physicist (and the Russians are hip-deep in genius physicists) figures out a way to use low-frequency radar or something new altogether to defeat our bajillion-dollar stealth systems. Or maybe they figure out a clever tactic for hunting planes they can’t see. Who knows? Nobody. That’s why you try and keep the gap as wide as possible (incidentally demoralizing them from trying to catch up).

We should note in this context Speaker Pelosi’s bizarre defense-cut obsession. And, of course, we still have our president’s baffling Raptoriconophobia to puzzle over.


* For those who came in late: Confucius is the Gormogons’ Œcumenical Volgi.

Saturday, January 30, 2010

Re: Stratego

Indeed, GorT, which is why the Czar fears no human intelligence. All you machines are cheats. And liars. But mostly cheats.

And liars.

Stratego

The Czar is writing off playing a PC because it "cheated"...likely story, probably one you will hear when he falls to GorT in the near future as we enjoy board game night in the Castle.  Seriously, I know the outcome, Czar, I've been there already.

One doesn’t see this in the Hollywood trades every day

Variety’s Todd McCarthy on Sundance:
Still, I must hasten to point out that, given the dogmatic leftism/tree-hugging/granola-chewing/global warming alarmism, et al., the festival has always embraced, the only real act of rebellion within a Sundance context would be to present a smart film that questioned any of these positions. I honestly cannot remember ever seeing what could remotely be described as a conservative documentary at Sundance. Granted, not many are made, and I would frankly be amazed if any would be accepted if submitted. But I, for one, would love to see a genuinely critical examination of the many blunders and chicken-hearted actions of the United Nations; a documentary holding up for scrutiny the many wild prophecies of the esteemed Paul Ehrlich, whose doom-ridden predictions about population growth were the first words I heard out of any professor's mouth as a university freshman, or a film that looked with unbiased clear eyes into the extent of Soviet communist infiltration and financing of American unions, academia, social organizations and other institutions from the 1930s onward. There are many potent unmade films.

It Would Be Funny If It Weren't Totally True

From our perspective, totally spot on and brilliant. The Czar cannot begin to ennumerate all the things that are exactly correct in this video.



Hat tip to Big Journalism for finding this gem.

Whoops!

Wednesday: In State of the Union address, President Obama humiliates and embarrasses all nine Supreme Court judges in front of millions of Americans for their decision to overturn McCain-Feingold.

Thurday: In surprise ruling, Supreme Court justices rule 9-0 that President Obama’s 2008 election was sudddenly unconstitutional for a variety of strange reasons, and he is to vacate office immediately. Curiously, the decision, written by Justice Alito, reminds the reader that all SCOTUS decisions are final.

Friday, January 29, 2010

Re: Board Games on the iPad

The Czar endorses the idea of porting old-timey board games to networked tablets.

One game he would very much like to see is Stratego, which has entertained the Czar for decades.

He is also wickedly good at it, and has not suffered an uncontested loss since 1976. He did lose a game against a PC version of it set to maximum difficulty in 2008...but the Czar found clear evidence of cheating on behalf of the programming, as it systematically nailed his key pieces one after the other with *exactly* the right combination of pieces, while avoiding the Czar’s lesser ranks entirely. Because maximum difficulty can evidently only be achieved by the AI knowing exactly which pieces were which.

So the Czar prefers human intelligence as a competitor. Although you may not wish to challenge him; the Czar once pulled the arms off a wookie when he (almost) lost.

The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

As I was completely entertained by the Volgi's documentary of my recent trip back to the mid 1940s, I thought I'd provide a few other items on the iPad.

First, the good: this is an interesting take on the iPad In recent conversations around the campfire in the Castle (no seriously, 'Puter loves to shoot some game, splay and impale it on a spit and barbecue it right in the middle of the all-purpose room), the Volgi and I agreed that the iPad is a strong candidate in the displacement of print media, particularly with its color capabilities and greater processing power than the Kindle and other e-Readers.  southern operative, JM, chimed in similarly with,
"Similar to the introductory versions of the iPhone and the iPod, the iPad is the 1.0 device and only 85% ready for Primetime. Furthermore, it’s a toy to act as the ‘Kindle-killer.’"
  Agreed, and thanks for the mail - unfortunately, I don't have an iPad to send as a thank you.  The people that love being on the leading and bleeding edge of technology with coin to spare will buy it.  The rest (including me) will likely wait for Generation 2 iPads.  But to the point of the linked story for this paragraph - while I wouldn't call it a "Jumanji" platform, the article correctly points out that this could really open up "board games" for the future.  Imagine placing one on your coffee table and playing chess with someone online, real-time, with moving pieces.  Or a virtual poker table.  Or any number of play-in person games that have largely had problems translating into the play online, play by mail or play by email genres.  This alone might win me over, by the way.  Although I share the sentiments of the video below.

Second, the bad: there are alternatives lining up to chase Apple's iPad.  They will likely lack the sleek and stylishness of the Apple devices but sometimes functionality overcomes form.  Given that this one debuts within six months of the iPad release and has additional capabilities such as a camera, interfaces and a more open operating system/platform, it probably warrants a pause before leaping head first into the iPad realm.

Third, the ugly: I spoke of this before and again recently, AT&T is having a terrible time with their networks.  Now they are admitting it publicly.  Again, I question why Apple went with the company when others have clearly invested more into their networks in recent months, including T-Mobile and Verizon.  I'm sure both of these companies have plans to 3G enable other tablet computers much like they've done with competing products to the iPhone.

So if Hasbro, Milton-Bradley or Steven Jackson Games needs a developer to help advance the market with the point in the first paragraph above, drop me a line.

GorT goes back and informs the Führer of the bad news

Biden Doppelganger

Pick the dummy.  Don't worry.  There's no wrong answer.Eagle-eyed Gormogon operative FJR sends the following comparison mash-up, right. FJR notes that Vice President Biden bears an uncanny resemblance to Jeff Dunham's dummy Walter. Coincidence?

'Puter may have to reconsider his theorem that V.P. Biden has been replaced by a Fembot. It's far more likely, and ironic (and hilarious), that he would be replaced by a dummy.

*Sorry for the picture quality, but 'Puter's working from a 4k dial up modem. Maybe GorT can fix it.

Social Justice In Action Inaction

The Czar defines “social justice” (a term being used like a weapon all around academia these days) as getting something that belongs to someone else.

All right, here is a poser. You are the director of Chicago State University’s financial aid program, and you’re taking a walk through some of the innermost areas of the univeristy when you come across a 400-pound bronze scuplture of an African slave in some nameless storage room. You realize this sculpture is really beautiful, with striking lines and a slightly larger-than-life size. What a shame that such a noble piece of artwork is stuck back here with broken furniture and boxes, rather than be in a place where everyone can admire it!

Do you: (a) Ask the facilities director why the statue was in storage, rather than on display, and start a student petition to find a home for it somewhere prominent where the public can admire it? Or (b) sneak it out of the storage room, transport it across the city, and give it to your girlfriend, Illinois State Representative Monique Davis (D-Chicago, unsurprisingly)?

Evidently, Arnold Jordan chose the latter. After all, no one knew or even cared about the statue, so what the hell, right? Except CSU auditors did know about the $25,000 statue, and they discovered it missing in less than two months. And then it became clear that the statue was now on display in Rep. Davis’ office, renamed Defiance, and described glowingly as her own personal Statue of Liberty.

CSU president Wayne Watson believes differently; he thinks that Arnold Jordan knew about the statue because he purchased it for the school out of state grants he helped secure. He knew it was in storage, as did everyone else, and knew that the school was still working out what to do with it. Yes, it used to be on display outside the president’s office, but was temporarily moved to storage. Why? Arnold Jordan has an intriguing possibility: racism.

You read that right. Watson, who is black, took a statue at a largely black state university, and temporarily located in storage because, evidently to Jordan, Watson and the school are a bunch of racists. Jordan then claimed he took the statue with full permission of the school (thereby confirming he knew it was school property).

The school disputes this, saying they would not have then reacted as if it had been stolen. Jordan said that since the statue was paid for by state funds, Rep. Davis (his girlfriend, don’t forget) has just as much right to have it in her office as the university.

Rep. Davis admitted that she probably should not have accepted the statue, and concedes it should be returned to its rightful owner. The university agrees, and wants to know why the hell is it still sitting in her office half a year later. Davis said she is not entirely sure it belongs to the school, despite the clear evidence admitted by her boyfiend that he helped obtain it for the school, so she will happily return it as soon as we figure out this complex issue. Defiance, indeed.

Actually, it seems to the Czar, this issue is a bit simpler. Posit: Jordan knew the statue was in storage, knew the school was still considering what to do with it, and then stole it, gave it to his sweetie pie, and hoped no one would catch it. And when they did, which was inevitable, he would play the race card so that she could keep it.

Davis, in turn, should be highly suspicious when her boytoy suddenly produces a $25,000, 400-pound bronze statue as a gift. Most guys just give nice earrings, not industrial weight scuplture. She should also know that while she is a state representative, and that she receives pay from state treasuries, that does not qualify her as a state property than can receive and display assets paid with state funds on her own property.

Simple solution? Davis pays, with her own funds, to have the sculpture carefully returned to the university, and her boyfriend goes before a judge to answer charges of felony theft. Because that is how social justice should work.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Mailcall: The Doublewide

Your Czarness:

Once again your humble correspondent is indebted to Your Czarness for sacrificing his time and, potentially, his mental health. I refer, of course, to your handy-dandy “State of the State of the Union” post.

And served with a heapin’ helpin’ of Czarish snarkability, thoughtfully posted in Red Letters, much like the words of Jesus in my King James version of the New Testament.

Coincidence? I wonder.

But last evening a very important and exciting basketball game required my attention, and so the TV here at the Doublewide was not tuned in to hear our President’s address. My team won (yeah!) AND I was spared roughly 80 minutes of speechifyin’, so I count that as an excellent evening all around!

But first thing this morning, right after my moonshine-and-BC powder, I checked your posting. Whew, did POTUS ever go on ...and on. Your Czarness really took one for the team sitting through it all.

There was at least one point of the speech that seems innocuous enough when read, and yet takes on a very different feel when seen in video, and that is the section where the President dresses down the Supreme Court for striking down large parts of McCain-Feingold. When I read it, it did not stand out from the rest of the speech. However, the video shows something that I found quite disturbing.

You can clearly see Justice Samuel Alito silently mouthing “not true” in response to the accusation that the decision opens the door to foreign governments influencing our elections. Then the Democrats rise in unison behind and around the Justices, who remain seated and impassive. You can see Justice Ginsberg, lean forward a bit, and I had the impression that a muscle in her jaw twitched. The Dems are cheering and clapping. The President paused for the applause, of course.
I found it mean. Like watching a bully on the playground with his gang ringing his next lunch-money victim.

I wonder what Justice Ginsburg could have been thinking. Here is somebody’s grandmother, who is obviously still plenty spunky, but who is clearly not in the best of health. Furthermore, she dissented from the majority opinion. And yet she is still subjected to a public dressing down, complete with cheering Dem-bots.

How tacky.

Mr. President, the members of the Supreme Court who show up for the State of the Union address are just like the military officers seated down front. They serve the country, not you. The Supremes don’t answer to you. They don’t applaud you. They’re not supposed to. Agree with their opinions or don’t, but try to show some respect.

Yours from the Doublewide,

JAB
Thanks again, JAB, for your ongoing support. The Czar received quite a bit of fan mail, and he replied to each and every one personally. Except yours: he wants to address a point or two.

The use of red letters was merely to draw attention and not meant to imply any kinship to the KJV. One might suggest coincidence (heck, you did), but there is every possibility someone did it intentionally. But it was not us.

Regarding the slam of the SCOTUS on live television, there is not much more to say that has not been around the conservo-sphere already. Bad taste? Absolutely, especially when Justice Alito was right and the President could not have been more incorrect. One might say the President “acted... stupidly.” He really needs to spend more than a second thinking before he speaks. But while he was trying to win points with his fading liberal electorate by echoing what they are probably all thinking (wrongly), he wound up demonstrating that he knows astonishingly little about the US Constitution. He would not have passed Ms. Hall’s seventh grade civics class in Muscovy, we assure you.

But more than that was his introduction to that: “with all due deference to the separation of powers....” That is, to the Czar, as hollow as someone saying “with all due respect.” You know that whatever follows will not be respectful at all.

Indeed, he is showing his progressive irritation with the idea of a Congress and the Supreme Court. Things would be so much better for his authority if he could just get rid of those outdated branches of government.

More on the iPad

More details were released later yesterday on the iPad and I spent a bit more time this morning reading about it. My interest is waning quickly on the unit and I think Jobs might be overselling this as such a dramatic change-enabling device. Maybe if they applied a bit more thought into it. For example, there are no USB connections nor FireWire/IEEE-1394. No real way for external connectivity aside from the AT&T provided 3G access and 802.11n wireless. There are adapters to load from SD memory cards but that's about it. So it's either a reduced functionality laptop (and there are a number of laptops that are thin and have screens that swivel and drop into tablet configurations - heck my doctor's office uses one for medical records) or it's a larger footprint iTouch/iPhone. I'm not convinced that it's that ground breaking and therefore I am not surprised at the price point. In fact, it might be slightly high for what you get. The interesting thing to monitor going forward is to see how prescient the Simpsons episode really is concerning the Apple faithful. It could be that people turn out in droves to get the iLatest and iGreatest from iStephen iJobs. Perhaps. But I think there are bigger game changers that are coming with innovations in wearable computers, OLED and other advances in display technologies, and deeper thought leadership into what would truly advance the computing industry vis a vis the consumer marketplace. Things like the partnership of Nintendo and Microsoft with Netflix for movie streaming to internet connected game consoles are good innovations. I suspect that the iPad will fizzle quicker than Apple hopes unfortunately.

Republican Fail

Cassandra apparently took literally 'Showtime at (for) the Apollo.'In his SOTU address last night, President Obama stated his intention to press for repeal of the military's "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy.

It's really too bad the Republicans didn't listen to 'Puter back in June 2009, when he advocated exactly this tack. A Republican push for a partial repeal of DADT, similar to that advocated by 'Puter, would've made President Obama and the Democrats look like even bigger hypocrites. It also would have taken the "Party of No" meme parroted by every liberal talking head right the heck off the table. It could have even blunted criticism of Republicans as hating haters that hate everyone, especially [insert name of victim group/constituency the liberal speaker is whoring himelf out to here].

But, alas. 'Puter is fated to be the Cassandra of the Gormogons. That's what 'Puter gets for refusing to put out for Apollo.

Progressive Field Trip

According to this article from the Mail Online, the children of working parents were banned from attending mid-term break field trips.

What disqualified these students from attending trips to Knowsley Safari Park, soccer sessions with the Manchester United Foundation, and a trip to an indoor ski resort? Well they were banned from the trip because their parents work. That’s right, their parents are not on the government dole. And even if the parents of these children were willing to pay for them to attend these activities, they were told that their children were restricted.

Margaret Woodhouse, from the Trafford Council’s children and young people’s service gave the following reasoning behind the decision, “It was a government requirement the money be used to support children from ‘economically disadvantaged’ families within the area. Trafford Council chose to follow guidance from the Training and Development Agency – responsible for allocating funding on the government’s behalf – and use free school meals as its criteria.”

In response to this the Department for Children, Schools and Families stated, “Our guidance is crystal clear that no child should be left out. Activities should be available to all children – with those who can afford it being able to pay and take part. The scheme should encourage those who can afford to pay to do so, while using the subsidy to make particular efforts to encourage the participation of those who are unable to pay. It is down to schools to use their professional judgments in deciding who is or is not eligible for a subsidy.”

And what does your Mandarin find offensive about this story – well, a number of things come to mind.

First, we have a scheme that is rewarding those who are not contributing to society. Your Mandarin has no issue with giving these children free lunches – it is not their fault that their parents are not working – but I do have an issue with taxpayers paying for vacation trips that your Mandarin (who does work and pay taxes) could not afford to go on.

Second, we have a bunch of progressives left to their own devices to, as quoted above, “…use their professional judgments…” The problem with this is that their professional judgment, in your Mandarin’s opinion, has no basis in the real world. It is obvious that these administrators were using their “judgment” to not only reward those who are disadvantaged, but to punish those who are doing well. Here is a prime example of a redistribution of wealth. When government becomes the arbiter of who can and cannot attend based on income level, or some other perceived victim status, this signals the end of individual freedom and choice.

The One's Nation, Under God ...

The Washington Post's website headline right now is a quote from President Obama's State of the Union address last evening. That quote? "We were sent here to serve our citizens."

Now, mayhaps 'Puter's being hypersensitive on the issue, but he's fairly certain he is now, and always has been, a citizen of the United States of America, not the Democratic People's Republic of the One. 'Puter has taken many government service oaths in his day, but never recalls pledging to protect and defend the President and Congress of the United States. It's usually some crazy, right-wing notion about protecting and defending the Constitution of the United States. Apparently, that's all changed now, and we must pledge fealty to our elected betters.

The quote taken in isolation is not a big deal, likely a mistatement. But when examined in the context of President Obama's first year in office, it is an attitudinal marker. A dog whistle for those who can hear. It shows the stunning arrogance of the Obama Administration. The quote betrays the Adminstration's unspoken mindset: the people of the United States are wards of the government, required to serve it, rather than the other way round.

And that, 'Puter's friends, is the core problem with this Administration.

Image graciously provided courtesy of our friends the Zelda-erotica artists at Art of Obama.

The State of the State of the Union Speech

Miss the President’s State of MY Union speech? Saw but want to relive it with the Czar? Follow along with the entire text of the speech. The Czar offers his snark and reactions in red text throughout.

Overall, the President really came off as a condescending politician. You can tell he thought this speech was critical, and that he used his best campaign speech writers on it. The entire thing is one more rehash of candidate Obama trying to run against what appears to be George Bush’s third term. And the overly simplistic lectures on why he actually did very well in his first year, but that we just couldn’t figure out his higher powers, really oozed with the contempt of a professor being sent to teach remedial math at a community college. It grew rank, fast. And stayed with us throughout.

Scroll down for more.

Madame Speaker, Vice President Biden, Members of Congress, distinguished guests, and fellow Americans:

Our Constitution declares that from time to time, the President shall give to Congress information about the state of our union. Ah. Thank goodness you’ve finally read it. Did you get to the part where it doesn’t mention czars? For two hundred and twenty years, our leaders have fulfilled this duty. They have done so during periods of prosperity and tranquility. And they have done so in the midst of war and depression; at moments of great strife and great struggle.

It’s tempting to look back on these moments and assume that our progress was inevitable—that America was always destined to succeed. But when the Union was turned back at Bull Run and the Allies first landed at Omaha Beach, victory was very much in doubt. When the market crashed on Black Tuesday and civil rights marchers were beaten on Bloody Sunday, the future was anything but certain. Wow. Great lead in. Nothing says how good things are here like you going on about how bad it all seems. These were times that tested the courage of our convictions, and the strength of our union. And despite all our divisions and disagreements; our hesitations and our fears; America prevailed because we chose to move forward as one nation, and one people. We were one nation, one people in the Civil War? We were one nation, one people under FDR, when almost half the country hated him? We were one nation, one people when we had segregation? The Czar has said it before: it won’t hurt ya to crack open a history book.

Again, we are tested. And again, we must answer history’s call.

One year ago, I took office amid two wars, an economy rocked by severe recession, a financial system on the verge of collapse, and a government deeply in debt. Yes, and it accelerated worse when you took power. Quit blaming Bush for things the Democrats fueled to get you elected. Experts from across the political spectrum warned that if we did not act, we might face a second depression. So we acted—immediately and aggressively. And one year later, the worst of the storm has passed. If by passed, you mean possibly not even halfway through, yes.

But the devastation remains. One in ten Americans still cannot find work. Many businesses have shuttered. Home values have declined. Small towns and rural communities have been hit especially hard. For those who had already known poverty, life has become that much harder. This isn’t your fault. You inherited this mess from Hoover.

This recession has also compounded the burdens that America’s families have been dealing with for decades—the burden of working harder and longer for less; of being unable to save enough to retire or help kids with college.

So I know the anxieties that are out there right now. They’re not new. These struggles are the reason I ran for President. These struggles are what I’ve witnessed for years in places like Elkhart, Indiana, and Galesburg, Illinois. The Czar spoke to some people in Elkhart back in 2008. They feel totally betrayed by you. I hear about them in the letters that I read each night. The toughest to read are those written by children—asking why they have to move from their home, or when their mom or dad will be able to go back to work. Cheap theater, but what president doesn’t do this schmaltz?

For these Americans and so many others, change has not come fast enough. Some are frustrated; some are angry. Check your polls. It’s actually most. They don’t understand why it seems like bad behavior on Wall Street is rewarded but hard work on Main Street isn’t; or why Washington has been unable or unwilling to solve any of our problems. They are tired of the partisanship and the shouting and the pettiness. They know we can’t afford it. Not now. Yes, and they are taking it out on you. Now how about it?

So we face big and difficult challenges. And what the American people hope—what they deserve—is for all of us, Democrats and Republicans, to work through our differences; to overcome the numbing weight of our politics. For while the people who sent us here have different backgrounds, different stories and different beliefs, the anxieties they face are the same. The aspirations they hold are shared. A job that pays the bills. A chance to get ahead. Most of all, the ability to give their children a better life.

You know what else they share? A gnawing disappointment with your administration? They share a stubborn resilience in the face of adversity. After one of the most difficult years in our history,Which the next president will inherit from you, right? they remain busy building cars and teaching kids; starting businesses and going back to school. They’re coaching little league and helping their neighbors. As one woman wrote me, "We are strained but hopeful, struggling but encouraged." Americans sure ain’t about to sit around waiting for you to get to work.

It is because of this spirit—this great decency and great strength—that I have never been more hopeful about America’s future than I am tonight. Well, Scott Brown did get elected. Despite our hardships, our union is strong. We do not give up. We do not quit. We do not allow fear or division to break our spirit. In this new decade, it’s time the American people get a government that matches their decency; that embodies their strength. You mean we don’t need to wait until 2012?

And tonight, I’d like to talk about how together, we can deliver on that promise.

It begins with our economy.

Our most urgent task upon taking office was to shore up the same banks that helped cause this crisis. Wait—what? We want to help out the guys that screwed us? What? It was not easy to do. True: it can be hard to donate money to a guy that mugged you an hour earlier. And if there’s one thing that has unified Democrats and Republicans, it’s that we all hated the bank bailout. I hated it. You hated it. Yeah, but you did it. It was about as popular as a root canal. Pause for laugh track.

But when I ran for President, I promised I wouldn’t just do what was popular—I would do what was necessary. Yes, and now we know what you meant by that. And if we had allowed the meltdown of the financial system, unemployment might be double what it is today. More businesses would certainly have closed. More homes would have surely been lost. Question from the back! How so? Please show your math. There is a good chance we might have recovered sooner, too.

So I supported the last administration’s efforts to create the financial rescue program. Something else you inherited, eh? And when we took the program over, we made it more transparent and accountable(...in ways you will never see...) . As a result, the markets are now stabilized, and we have recovered most of the money we spent on the banks. Great. Would like back now.

To recover the rest, I have proposed a fee on the biggest banks. I know Wall Street isn’t keen on this idea, but if these firms can afford to hand out big bonuses again, they can afford a modest fee to pay back the taxpayers who rescued them in their time of need. Except that fee gets passed onto the banking customers; so in effect, your plan is to get us to pay ourselves back on your bad debt? Interesting....The Czar wonders: could that work?

As we stabilized the financial system, we also took steps to get our economy growing again, save as many jobs as possible, and help Americans who had become unemployed. We look forward to your results.

That’s why we extended or increased unemployment benefits for more than 18 million Americans; made health insurance 65% cheaper for families who get their coverage through COBRA; and passed 25 different tax cuts.

Let me repeat: we cut taxes. We cut taxes for 95% of working families. We cut taxes for small businesses. We cut taxes for first-time homebuyers. We cut taxes for parents trying to care for their children. We cut taxes for 8 million Americans paying for college. As a result, millions of Americans had more to spend on gas, and food, and other necessities, all of which helped businesses keep more workers. And we haven’t raised income taxes by a single dime on a single person. Not a single dime. The Czar eagerly awaits to see the vetting of these claims. Except one: it is very probable that some folks have only one single dime left.

Because of the steps we took, there are about two million Americans working right now who would otherwise be unemployed. 200,000 work in construction and clean energy. 300,000 are teachers and other education workers. Tens of thousands are cops, firefighters, correctional officers, and first responders. And all these are union jobs, by the way. And we are on track to add another one and a half million jobs to this total by the end of the year. And that’s in your administration alone.

The plan that has made all of this possible, from the tax cuts to the jobs, is the Recovery Act. That’s right—the Recovery Act, also known as the Stimulus Bill. Economists on the left and the right say that this bill has helped saved jobs and avert disaster. But you don’t have to take their word for it. The Czar notices that the President keeps trying to reassure people quite defensively that he isn’t a screw up, and this isn’t a joke. Tiresome isn’t the word...scary is.

Talk to the small business in Phoenix that will triple its workforce because of the Recovery Act. Not the one-hundred and twenty-five that closed their doors?

Talk to the window manufacturer in Philadelphia who said he used to be skeptical about the Recovery Act, until he had to add two more work shifts just because of the business it created. That will be slight comfort to the thousands of unemployed Phillies who did not get hired.

Talk to the single teacher raising two kids who was told by her principal in the last week of school that because of the Recovery Act, she wouldn’t be laid off after all.

There are stories like this all across America. Yes, anecdotes, all of which you are taking credit for. Feel free to take credit for the unemployment numbers you spat out at the start of your speech. And after two years of recession, the economy is growing again. Retirement funds have started to gain back some of their value. Businesses are beginning to invest again, and slowly some are starting to hire again. This part is true. The Czar gives no beef here.

But I realize that for every success story, there are other stories, of men and women who wake up with the anguish of not knowing where their next paycheck will come from; who send out resumes week after week and hear nothing in response. And where is your credit-taking now? That is why jobs must be our number one focus in 2010, and that is why I am calling for a new jobs bill tonight.

Now, the true engine of job creation in this country will always be America’s businesses. But government can create the conditions necessary for businesses to expand and hire more workers. Yes, they are called the November elections.

We should start where most new jobs do—in small businesses, companies that begin when an entrepreneur takes a chance on a dream, or a worker decides its time she became her own boss.

Through sheer grit and determination, these companies have weathered the recession and are ready to grow. But when you talk to small business owners in places like Allentown, Pennsylvania or Elyria, Ohio, you find out that even though banks on Wall Street are lending again, they are mostly lending to bigger companies. But financing remains difficult for small business owners across the country.

So tonight, I’m proposing that we take $30 billion of the money Wall Street banks have repaid (that’s our money; we would like it back) and use it to help community banks give small businesses the credit they need to stay afloat. But the community banks did not suffer the way the big commercial banks did. They have the money to loan—what hurts the small lenders are the low interest rates. I am also proposing a new small business tax credit—one that will go to over one million small businesses who hire new workers or raise wages. While we’re at it, let’s also eliminate all capital gains taxes on small business investment; and provide a tax incentive for all businesses, large and small, to invest in new plants and equipment. We need to see details. Why not eliminate capital gains taxes for all businesses? This is all pipedream stuff. The Czar is willing to offer a full apology, once any of this becomes reality.

Next, we can put Americans to work today building the infrastructure of tomorrow. From the first railroads to the interstate highway system, our nation has always been built to compete. There’s no reason Europe or China should have the fastest trains, or the new factories that manufacture clean energy products. But there are practical reasons America does not. Fast trains have never proven profitable or economically advantageous. If they were, we would have them and not highly socialized governments. And you can ask Spain how well their clean energy manufacturing programs are going.

Tomorrow, I’ll visit Tampa, Florida, where workers will soon break ground on a new high-speed railroad funded by the Recovery Act. Just what Tampa needs, by the way: another easy way out of it. How about helping out the Bucs on their recovery? There are projects like that all across this country that will create jobs and help our nation move goods, services, and information. Then name another. We should put more Americans to work building clean energy facilities (no reason why you couldn’t have done this already.), and give rebates to Americans who make their homes more energy efficient (we have this already), which supports clean energy jobs. And to encourage these and other businesses to stay within our borders, it’s time to finally slash the tax breaks for companies that ship our jobs overseas and give those tax breaks to companies that create jobs in the United States of America. Here’s a great idea. Start dismantling the unions that inflate hourly wages to the point where jobs are shipped overseas to non-union countries. The labor is killing us, not the $20 they pay extra in taxes.

The House has passed a jobs bill that includes some of these steps. As the first order of business this year, I urge the Senate to do the same. People are out of work. They are hurting. They need our help. And I want a jobs bill on my desk without delay. Always without delay, this one.

But the truth is, these steps still won’t make up for the seven million jobs we’ve lost over the last two years. The Czar’s point exactly, thank you. The only way to move to full employment is to lay a new foundation for long-term economic growth, and finally address the problems that America’s families have confronted for years. Grandma’s stashing pills in the attic?

We cannot afford another so-called economic "expansion" like the one from last decade—what some call the "lost decade"—where jobs grew more slowly than during any prior expansion; where the income of the average American household declined while the cost of health care and tuition reached record highs; where prosperity was built on a housing bubble and financial speculation. Ah yes, another dig at Bush. Except his economic record is waaayyyy better than yours. Slow job growth? Better than 10% unemployment.

From the day I took office, I have been told that addressing our larger challenges is too ambitious—that such efforts would be too contentious, that our political system is too gridlocked, and that we should just put things on hold for awhile. Who said that? What was his name? What did he wear that day? Was this Rahm?

For those who make these claims, I have one simple question:

How long should we wait? How long should America put its future on hold?

You see, Washington has been telling us to wait for decades, even as the problems have grown worse. No, you’ve played this card too many times, Mr. President. No one is saying this to you. What we are saying is, we have had enough of your leftist theory and professorial lecturing. Meanwhile, China’s not waiting to revamp its economy. Germany’s not waiting. India’s not waiting. These nations aren’t standing still. These nations aren’t playing for second place. They’re putting more emphasis on math and science. They’re rebuilding their infrastructure. They are making serious investments in clean energy because they want those jobs.

Well I do not accept second-place for the United States of America. No, we’re last place, right? As hard as it may be, as uncomfortable and contentious as the debates may be, it’s time to get serious about fixing the problems that are hampering our growth. Yeah, but what a great time the last year was. Nothin’ but net, baby.

One place to start is serious financial reform. Look, I am not interested in punishing banks, I’m interested in protecting our economy. But what if... what if you could do both? That’d be cool, eh? A strong, healthy financial market makes it possible for businesses to access credit and create new jobs. It channels the savings of families into investments that raise incomes. But that can only happen if we guard against the same recklessness that nearly brought down our entire economy. Yes, and the weeding out of Democratic incumbents is already under way!

The House has already passed financial reform with many of these changes. And the lobbyists are already trying to kill it. Well, we cannot let them win this fight. Lobbyist influence has soared under your administration. Forgive us our skepticism. And if the bill that ends up on my desk does not meet the test of real reform, I will send it back. And C-Span won’t hear a word about it!

Next, we need to encourage American innovation. Last year, we made the largest investment in basic research funding in history—an investment that could lead to the world’s cheapest solar cells or treatment that kills cancer cells but leaves healthy ones untouched. And no area is more ripe for such innovation than energy. You can see the results of last year’s investment in clean energy—in the North Carolina company that will create 1200 jobs nationwide helping to make advanced batteries; or in the California business that will put 1,000 people to work making solar panels. Cough, cough. Bush spent more on science and research than you plan to. Cough, cough. Still time to change this.

Warning: Cap and Trade cheerleading follows! But to create more of these clean energy jobs, we need more production, more efficiency, more incentives. That means building a new generation of safe, clean nuclear power plants in this country. It means making tough decisions about opening new offshore areas for oil and gas development. It means continued investment in advanced biofuels and clean coal technologies. And yes, it means passing a comprehensive energy and climate bill with incentives that will finally make clean energy the profitable kind of energy in America.

I am grateful to the House for passing such a bill last year. There it is! This year, I am eager to help advance the bipartisan effort in the Senate. It’s already dead in the Senate, Mr. President. I know there have been questions about whether we can afford such changes in a tough economy; and I know that there are those who disagree with the overwhelming scientific evidence on climate change. But even if you doubt the evidence, providing incentives for energy efficiency and clean energy are the right thing to do for our future—because the nation that leads the clean energy economy will be the nation that leads the global economy. And America must be that nation. Didn’t you just say our nation is hurting, and that Congress can’t screw around anymore? Which is it? Getting Americans their money, or taking it from them? Make up your mind!

Third, we need to export more of our goods. Because the more products we make and sell to other countries, the more jobs we support right here in America. So tonight, we set a new goal: We will double our exports over the next five years, an increase that will support two million jobs in America. To help meet this goal, we’re launching a National Export Initiative that will help farmers and small businesses increase their exports, and reform export controls consistent with national security. This is classic campaign nonsense. Double what exports? From what to what? You could take any benchmark and claim it doubled. This means nothing. And what two million jobs? Where? In what industries?

We have to seek new markets aggressively, just as our competitors are. If America sits on the sidelines while other nations sign trade deals, we will lose the chance to create jobs on our shores. But realizing those benefits also means enforcing those agreements so our trading partners play by the rules. And that’s why we will continue to shape a Doha trade agreement that opens global markets, and why we will strengthen our trade relations in Asia and with key partners like South Korea, Panama, and Colombia. Doha trade agreements have failed every year since 2001. Forget it.

Fourth, we need to invest in the skills and education of our people.

This year, we have broken through the stalemate between left and right by launching a national competition to improve our schools. The idea here is simple: instead of rewarding failure, we only reward success. Instead of funding the status quo, we only invest in reform—reform that raises student achievement, inspires students to excel in math and science, and turns around failing schools that steal the future of too many young Americans, from rural communities to inner-cities. In the 21st century, one of the best anti-poverty programs is a world-class education. In this country, the success of our children cannot depend more on where they live than their potential. ‘Puter, take note! The President is throwing out the unions! At least, he must be. How else will he achieve this?

When we renew the Elementary and Secondary Education Act, we will work with Congress to expand these reforms to all fifty states. Still, in this economy, a high school diploma no longer guarantees a good job. I urge the Senate to follow the House and pass a bill that will revitalize our community colleges, which are a career pathway to the children of so many working families. To make college more affordable, this bill will finally end the unwarranted taxpayer-subsidies that go to banks for student loans. Boy, he’s got us really hating those evil bankers, eh? Think he’s ever been in one? Instead, let’s take that money and give families a $10,000 tax credit for four years of college and increase Pell Grants. And let’s tell another one million students that when they graduate, they will be required to pay only ten percent of their income on student loans, and all of their debt will be forgiven after twenty years—and forgiven after ten years if they choose a career in public service. Yeah, let’s tell them that. What we won’t tell them is that they wind up paying more in the long run because they will become taxpayers paying into another increasing entitlement system like social security. Hear it out: if you forgive all these debts, who pays for them? You increase the number of people who will go into public service (and you really should say more government jobs, because that’s what you mean), which increases the value for the next batch...and so on, until you have a burgeoning system of write offs. The tax payers go broke trying to fund a system that will never pay itself off, just like social security or welfare. Because in the United States of America, no one should go broke because they chose to go to college. And it’s time for colleges and universities to get serious about cutting their own costs—because they too have a responsibility to help solve this problem. Except, sir, that’s market forces at work. They keep raising their tuition because we keep paying these outrageous amounts. If they cut costs, they only increase profit...I think they’re already way ahead of you on this one.

Now, the price of college tuition is just one of the burdens facing the middle-class. That’s why last year I asked Vice President Biden to chair a task force on Middle-Class Families. Wow. Great choice. Because no one understands the pain of a middle class family with four college-bound kids like a wealthy white guy suffering chronic job aptitude problems. That’s why we’re nearly doubling the child care tax credit, and making it easier to save for retirement by giving every worker access to a retirement account and expanding the tax credit for those who start a nest egg. That’s why we’re working to lift the value of a family’s single largest investment—their home. The steps we took last year to shore up the housing market have allowed millions of Americans to take out new loans and save an average of $1,500 on mortgage payments. Yes, and all these were the high risk mortgagors who caused the bubble in the first place. This year, we will step up re-financing so that homeowners can move into more affordable mortgages. And it is precisely to relieve the burden on middle-class families that we still need health insurance reform. We actually expected this sooner.

You’ve played this card too many times, Mr. President. No one is saying this to you. What we are saying is, we have had enough of your leftist theory and professorial lecturing.Now let’s be clear—I did not choose to tackle this issue to get some legislative victory under my belt. Good thing, because you failed. And by now it should be fairly obvious that I didn’t take on health care because it was good politics. Evidently you have seen your polling numbers.

I took on health care because of the stories I’ve heard from Americans with pre-existing conditions whose lives depend on getting coverage; patients who’ve been denied coverage; and families—even those with insurance—who are just one illness away from financial ruin. Stories from a small number of Americans—less than eight percent—who decided the other 92% of you should foot their bill. Because under this presidency, the majority has no power.

After nearly a century of trying, (Ah, good: he acknowledges all he learned from Woodrow Wilson) we are closer than ever to bringing more security to the lives of so many Americans. The approach we’ve taken would protect every American from the worst practices of the insurance industry. Like free-market capitalism. It would give small businesses and uninsured Americans a chance to choose an affordable health care plan in a competitive market. It would require every insurance plan to cover preventive care. And by the way, I want to acknowledge our First Lady, Michelle Obama, who this year is creating a national movement to tackle the epidemic of childhood obesity and make our kids healthier. Pause for laugh track.

Our approach would preserve the right of Americans who have insurance to keep their doctor and their plan. It would reduce costs and premiums for millions of families and businesses. And according to the Congressional Budget Office—the independent organization that both parties have cited as the official scorekeeper for Congress—our approach would bring down the deficit by as much as $1 trillion over the next two decades. Holy crap, give it a rest. You gave this speech already, and it bombed! You lost. Plain and simple. Americans do not believe you.

Still, this is a complex issue, and the longer it was debated, the more skeptical people became. I take my share of the blame for not explaining it more clearly to the American people. And your share is, evidently, 58% according to Rasmussen. And I know that with all the lobbying and horse-trading, this process left most Americans wondering what’s in it for them. No, we wondered what’s next.

But I also know this problem is not going away. By the time I’m finished speaking tonight, more Americans will have lost their health insurance. Millions will lose it this year. Through unemployment. Our deficit will grow. And the Mandarin said the President would never admit this! Premiums will go up. Patients will be denied the care they need. Small business owners will continue to drop coverage altogether. I will not walk away from these Americans, and neither should the people in this chamber. Pause for laugh track.

As temperatures cool, I want everyone to take another look at the plan we’ve proposed. There’s a reason why many doctors, nurses, and health care experts who know our system best consider this approach a vast improvement over the status quo. Many, yes: but far from most. Most medical professionals want this reform annihilated. Not amended. Not tweaked. Annihilated. Reduced to nothing. Gone. The Czar hears them. But if anyone from either party has a better approach that will bring down premiums, bring down the deficit, cover the uninsured, strengthen Medicare for seniors, and stop insurance company abuses, let me know. Yes, the GOP submitted just such a plan about six months ago that the CBO endorsed. You refused to consider it. Here’s what I ask of Congress, though: Do not walk away from reform. Not now. Not when we are so close. Let us find a way to come together and finish the job for the American people. The American people spoke when Massachusetts voted.

Now, even as health care reform would reduce our deficit, it’s not enough to dig us out of a massive fiscal hole in which we find ourselves. It’s a challenge that makes all others that much harder to solve, and one that’s been subject to a lot of political posturing. This entire paragraph makes no sense. What?

So let me start the discussion of government spending by setting the record straight. At the beginning of the last decade, America had a budget surplus of over $200 billion. By the time I took office, we had a one year deficit of over $1 trillion and projected deficits of $8 trillion over the next decade. Most of this was the result of not paying for two wars, two tax cuts, and an expensive prescription drug program. On top of that, the effects of the recession put a $3 trillion hole in our budget. That was before I walked in the door. Yes, Bush was a spender. And you quadrupled it. He would bow to the master.

Now if we had taken office in ordinary times, I would have liked nothing more than to start bringing down the deficit. But we took office amid a crisis, and our efforts to prevent a second Depression have added another $1 trillion to our national debt. But your efforts to “fix” healthcare would have added $3 trillion at least. So which is it?

I am absolutely convinced that was the right thing to do. The Czar is convinced it was the Left thing to do. But families across the country are tightening their belts and making tough decisions. The federal government should do the same. So tonight, I’m proposing specific steps to pay for the $1 trillion that it took to rescue the economy last year.

Starting in 2011, we are prepared to freeze government spending for three years. Spending related to our national security, Medicare, Medicaid, and Social Security will not be affected. But all other discretionary government programs will. Like any cash-strapped family, we will work within a budget to invest in what we need and sacrifice what we don’t. And if I have to enforce this discipline by veto, I will. Hey NASA; remember when you cheered last month when he promised to add funding to space technology and research? Just kidding.

We will continue to go through the budget line by line to eliminate programs that we can’t afford and don’t work. Feel free to email us for our list of recommendations. You will be delighted at our ability to dissolve about six cabinet departments instantly. We’ve already identified $20 billion in savings for next year. To help working families, we will extend our middle-class tax cuts. But at a time of record deficits, we will not continue tax cuts for oil companies, investment fund managers, and those making over $250,000 a year. We just can’t afford it. But they can, you see, because they are rich and therefore evil. By the way, the President makes more than $250,000 a year.

Now, even after paying for what we spent on my watch, we will still face the massive deficit we had when I took office. More importantly, the cost of Medicare, Medicaid, and Social Security will continue to skyrocket. That’s why I’ve called for a bipartisan, Fiscal Commission, modeled on a proposal by Republican Judd Gregg and Democrat Kent Conrad. This can’t be one of those Washington gimmicks that lets us pretend we solved a problem. (Obama-Biden) The Commission will have to provide a specific set of solutions by a certain deadline. Yesterday, the Senate blocked a bill that would have created this commission. So I will issue an executive order that will allow us to go forward, because I refuse to pass this problem on to another generation of Americans. Because if there is one thing that really annoys a Progressive leftist, it’s that pesky representational republic idea called Congress. And when the vote comes tomorrow, the Senate should restore the pay-as-you-go law that was a big reason why we had record surpluses in the 1990s. Uh, no. The record surpluses in the 1990s were from the massive increase in tax revenues caused by skyrocketing salaries that resulted from a dangerously over-inflated tech bubble in the stock market. Check out what happened in mid-to-late 2000...also on Clinton’s watch.

I know that some in my own party will argue that we cannot address the deficit or freeze government spending when so many are still hurting. Right. So scrap cap and trade and scrap healthcare. You can’t keep going back and forth on this. I agree, which is why this freeze will not take effect until next year, when the economy is stronger. But understand—if we do not take meaningful steps to rein in our debt, it could damage our markets, increase the cost of borrowing, and jeopardize our recovery—all of which could have an even worse effect on our job growth and family incomes. Don’t talk to us like we’re morons. It sounds more like you’re reassuring yourself what’s supposed to play out...like a college kid repeating textbook phrases an hour before the exam.

From some on the right, I expect we’ll hear a different argument—that if we just make fewer investments in our people, extend tax cuts for wealthier Americans, eliminate more regulations, and maintain the status quo on health care, our deficits will go away. The problem is, that’s what we did for eight years. Yeah, eight years under Reagan. And it led to a massive economic boom. What happened under Bush was reckless spending to promote pseudo-bipartisanship when the Democrats got into office in 2006. That’s what helped lead us into this crisis. It’s what helped lead to these deficits. And we cannot do it again. Well, we’ll see about this in 10 months.

Rather than fight the same tired battles that have dominated Washington for decades, it’s time to try something new. Let’s invest in our people without leaving them a mountain of debt. Let’s meet our responsibility to the citizens who sent us here. Let’s try common sense. Wait, no one is chanting four more years? Hold the cue cards up higher.

To do that, we have to recognize that we face more than a deficit of dollars right now. We face a deficit of trust—deep and corrosive doubts about how Washington works that have been growing for years. To close that credibility gap we must take action on both ends of Pennsylvania Avenue to end the outsized influence of lobbyists; to do our work openly; and to give our people the government they deserve. Nope, no chanting. Perhaps they don’t understand what you’re doing?

That’s what I came to Washington to do. That’s why—for the first time in history—my Administration posts our White House visitors online. And that’s why we’ve excluded lobbyists from policy-making jobs or seats on federal boards and commissions. Don’t they get it? Don’t they see?

But we can’t stop there. It’s time to require lobbyists to disclose each contact they make on behalf of a client with my Administration or Congress. And it’s time to put strict limits on the contributions that lobbyists give to candidates for federal office. Don’t these people realize you’re giving a campaign speech? Where’s the chanting? Last week, the Supreme Court reversed a century of law to open the floodgates for special interests—including foreign corporations—to spend without limit in our elections. Well I don’t think American elections should be bankrolled by America’s most powerful interests, or worse, by foreign entities. No, because it turns out that Republicans tend to get elected. They should be decided by the American people, and that’s why I’m urging Democrats and Republicans to pass a bill that helps to right this wrong. Right! Screw the Supreme Court. Who are they to decide what’s unconstitutional? Say, what kind of lawyer were you anyhow? If a law is struck down by SCOTUS, it won’t help to pass the same law again.

I’m also calling on Congress to continue down the path of earmark reform. You have trimmed some of this spending and embraced some meaningful change. But restoring the public trust demands more. For example, some members of Congress post some earmark requests online. Tonight, I’m calling on Congress to publish all earmark requests on a single website (www.gormogons.com) before there’s a vote so that the American people can see how their money is being spent. God bless transparency! Say, when will this actually start up? We still are waiting on your coming clean about our money.

Of course, none of these reforms will even happen if we don’t also reform how we work with one another.

Now, I am not naïve. I never thought the mere fact of my election would usher in peace, harmony, and some post-partisan era. No, but you did promise it. I knew that both parties have fed divisions that are deeply entrenched. And on some issues, there are simply philosophical differences that will always cause us to part ways. These disagreements, about the role of government in our lives, about our national priorities and our national security, have been taking place for over two hundred years. They are the very essence of our democracy.

But what frustrates the American people is a Washington where every day is Election Day. And every speech a campaign speech. We cannot wage a perpetual campaign where the only goal is to see who can get the most embarrassing headlines about their opponent—a belief that if you lose, I win. Neither party should delay or obstruct every single bill just because they can. No, they do it because of the very fundamental belief differences you mentioned a second ago. It’s your speech: stay with it. The confirmation of well-qualified public servants should not be held hostage to the pet projects or grudges of a few individual Senators. Washington may think that saying anything about the other side, no matter how false, is just part of the game. But it is precisely such politics that has stopped either party from helping the American people. Worse yet, it is sowing further division among our citizens and further distrust in our government. Seconds to go until he addresses the Brown victory...

So no, I will not give up on changing the tone of our politics. I know it’s an election year. And after last week, it is clear that campaign fever has come even earlier than usual. Ding! And there it is! But we still need to govern. To Democrats, I would remind you that we still have the largest majority in decades, and the people expect us to solve some problems, not run for the hills. Yes, you’ve wasted four complete years. Time to show up for work on your last week before unemployment. And if the Republican leadership is going to insist that sixty votes in the Senate are required to do any business at all in this town, then the responsibility to govern is now yours as well. Actually, this is an excellent line! And the GOP should take it to heart. Just saying no to everything may be good short-term politics, but it’s not leadership. Also true. GOP: he’s giving you time to hone your campaign strategies. We were sent here to serve our citizens, not our ambitions. So let’s show the American people that we can do it together. This week, I’ll be addressing a meeting of the House Republicans. And I would like to begin monthly meetings with both the Democratic and Republican leadership. I know you can’t wait. Wait: there was no laugh track here. Why is everyone giggling?

Throughout our history, no issue has united this country more than our security. Sadly, some of the unity we felt after 9/11 has dissipated. Yeah, we miss the good old days of intense national sorrow and disgust. We can argue all we want about who’s to blame for this, but I am not interested in re-litigating the past (especially when it’s looking more and more like your party’s fault). I know that all of us love this country. All of us are committed to its defense. So let’s put aside the schoolyard taunts about who is tough. Let’s reject the false choice between protecting our people and upholding our values. Let’s leave behind the fear and division, and do what it takes to defend our nation and forge a more hopeful future—for America and the world. Actually, the criticism has been pretty much directed solely at you. Like the schoolyard schmuck who says “Let’s not fight” as the tough kids start throwing punches. Yeah, that tends to work only when the tough kids say it.

That is the work we began last year. Since the day I took office, we have renewed our focus on the terrorists who threaten our nation. We have made substantial investments in our homeland security and disrupted plots that threatened to take American lives. Evidently the system worked again? Because it seems like your investment was a Dutch guy who knew how to hit. We are filling unacceptable gaps revealed by the failed Christmas attack, with better airline security, and swifter action on our intelligence. Somehow, your use of the present tense fills us with little confidence. We have prohibited torture and strengthened partnerships from the Pacific to South Asia to the Arabian Peninsula. Heck, yeah: we’re the largest Muslim country in the world! And in the last year, hundreds of Al Qaeda’s fighters and affiliates, including many senior leaders, have been captured or killed—far more than in 2008. And those captured are being read their Miranda rights as the US citizens we believe they are.

In Afghanistan, we are increasing our troops and training Afghan Security Forces so they can begin to take the lead in July of 2011, and our troops can begin to come home. We will reward good governance, reduce corruption, and support the rights of all Afghans—men and women alike. We are joined by allies and partners who have increased their own commitment, and who will come together tomorrow in London to reaffirm our common purpose. There will be difficult days ahead. But I am confident we will succeed. ...with this GOP plan.

As we take the fight to al Qaeda, we are responsibly leaving Iraq to its people. As a candidate, I promised that I would end this war, and that is what I am doing as President. We will have all of our combat troops out of Iraq by the end of this August. We will support the Iraqi government as they hold elections, and continue to partner with the Iraqi people to promote regional peace and prosperity. But make no mistake: this war is ending, and all of our troops are coming home. Thank goodness for the surge!

Tonight, all of our men and women in uniform—in Iraq, Afghanistan, and around the world—must know that they have our respect, our gratitude, and our full support. And just as they must have the resources they need in war, we all have a responsibility to support them when they come home. That is why we made the largest increase in investments for veterans in decades. That is why we are building a 21st century VA. And that is why Michelle has joined with Jill Biden to forge a national commitment to support military families. Let us give the President our support and credit here. Certainly, can you remotely imagine President Clinton doing anything like this?

Even as we prosecute two wars, we are also confronting perhaps the greatest danger to the American people—the threat of nuclear weapons. I have embraced the vision of John F. Kennedy and Ronald Reagan (yeah, they both would have loved you) through a strategy that reverses the spread of these weapons, and seeks a world without them. To reduce our stockpiles and launchers, while ensuring our deterrent, the United States and Russia are completing negotiations on the farthest-reaching arms control treaty in nearly two decades. And at April’s Nuclear Security Summit, we will bring forty-four nations together behind a clear goal: securing all vulnerable nuclear materials around the world in four years, so that they never fall into the hands of terrorists. And how many of these 44 countries have them? Will Iran be there? North Korea? China? Lotsa luck.

These diplomatic efforts have also strengthened our hand in dealing with those nations that insist on violating international agreements in pursuit of these weapons. That is why North Korea now faces increased isolation, and stronger sanctions—sanctions that are being vigorously enforced. They are so grounded. That is why the international community is more united, and the Islamic Republic of Iran is more isolated. No texting, no cell phones, and NO TV! And as Iran’s leaders continue to ignore their obligations, there should be no doubt: they, too, will face growing consequences. What they oughta face is US support for the growing democratic revolution struggling to take form. Yet another opportunity missed. Seriously, do you not read this website?

That is the leadership that we are providing—engagement that advances the common security and prosperity of all people. We are working through the G-20 to sustain a lasting global recovery. We are working with Muslim communities around the world to promote science, education and innovation. We assume that’s a one-way promotion. We have gone from a bystander to a leader in the fight against climate change. You bet we have. We are actively fighting the climate change folks.Google Borepatch, why doncha? We are helping developing countries to feed themselves, and continuing the fight against HIV/AIDS. And we are launching a new initiative that will give us the capacity to respond faster and more effectively to bio-terrorism or an infectious disease—a plan that will counter threats at home, and strengthen public health abroad.

As we have for over sixty years, America takes these actions because our destiny is connected to those beyond our shores. But we also do it because it is right. That is why, as we meet here tonight, over 10,000 Americans are working with many nations to help the people of Haiti recover and rebuild. That is why we stand with the girl who yearns to go to school in Afghanistan; we support the human rights of the women marching through the streets of Iran; and we advocate for the young man denied a job by corruption in Guinea. For America must always stand on the side of freedom and human dignity. Do you think he knows about these things, or is just reading what a speechwriter put in? Seriously, can he explain the differences between Guinea and Guinea-Bissau?

Abroad, America’s greatest source of strength has always been our ideals. The same is true at home. We find unity in our incredible diversity, drawing on the promise enshrined in our Constitution: the notion that we are all created equal, (Whoops. That’s the Declaration of Independence, folks. Slight mistake.) that no matter who you are or what you look like, if you abide by the law you should be protected by it; that if you adhere to our common values you should be treated no different than anyone else. And that the right to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed.

We must continually renew this promise. My Administration has a Civil Rights Division that is once again prosecuting civil rights violations and employment discrimination. We finally strengthened our laws to protect against crimes driven by hate. Sigh. And still nothing about crimes driven by ♥♥♥love♥♥♥ This year, I will work with Congress and our military to finally repeal the law that denies gay Americans the right to serve the country they love because of who they are. We are going to crack down on violations of equal pay laws—so that women get equal pay for an equal day’s work. And we should continue the work of fixing our broken immigration system—to secure our borders, enforce our laws, and ensure that everyone who plays by the rules can contribute to our economy and enrich our nations. And there you have it. A one-term president.

In the end, it is our ideals, our values, that built America—values that allowed us to forge a nation made up of immigrants from every corner of the globe; values that drive our citizens still. Every day, Americans meet their responsibilities to their families and their employers. Time and again, they lend a hand to their neighbors and give back to their country. They take pride in their labor, and are generous in spirit. These aren’t Republican values or Democratic values they’re living by; business values or labor values. They are American values. No good campaigning for your second term now.

Unfortunately, too many of our citizens have lost faith that our biggest institutions—our corporations, our media, and yes, our government—still reflect these same values. Mostly our government. Each of these institutions are full of honorable men and women doing important work that helps our country prosper. But each time a CEO rewards himself for failure, or a banker puts the rest of us at risk for his own selfish gain, people’s doubts grow. Damn those bankers! Each time lobbyists game the system or politicians tear each other down instead of lifting this country up, we lose faith. The more that TV pundits reduce serious debates into silly arguments, and big issues into sound bites, our citizens turn away. Take that, Olbermann!

No wonder there’s so much cynicism out there.

No wonder there’s so much disappointment. If you missed the speech on television, this is where the President looked into a mirror.

I campaigned on the promise of change—change we can believe in, the slogan went. And right now, I know there are many Americans who aren’t sure if they still believe we can change—or at least, that I can deliver it. Especially since about an hour ago, you claimed you never thought for a second you could.

But remember this—I never suggested that change would be easy, or that I can do it alone. No, in fact, you said you had no intention of it at all. Democracy in a nation of three hundred million people can be noisy and messy and complicated. And when you try to do big things and make big changes, it stirs passions and controversy. That’s just how it is. He’s talking to us like we’re morons again.

Those of us in public office can respond to this reality by playing it safe and avoid telling hard truths. We can do what’s necessary to keep our poll numbers high, and get through the next election instead of doing what’s best for the next generation. Well, it worked for Clinton.

But I also know this: if people had made that decision fifty years ago or one hundred years ago or two hundred years ago, we wouldn’t be here tonight. yeah, thanks a helluva lot, guys. What were you thinking? The only reason we are is because generations of Americans were unafraid to do what was hard; to do what was needed even when success was uncertain; to do what it took to keep the dream of this nation alive for their children and grandchildren.

Our administration has had some political setbacks this year, and some of them were deserved. That’s mighty big of you. But I wake up every day knowing that they are nothing compared to the setbacks that families all across this country have faced this year. And what keeps me going—what keeps me fighting—is that despite all these setbacks, that spirit of determination and optimism—that fundamental decency that has always been at the core of the American people—lives on. Now let’s list your successes. Ready? Go! All right... done.

It lives on in the struggling small business owner who wrote to me of his company, "None of us," he said, "…are willing to consider, even slightly, that we might fail."

It lives on in the woman who said that even though she and her neighbors have felt the pain of recession, "We are strong. We are resilient. We are American."

It lives on in the 8-year old boy in Louisiana, who just sent me his allowance and asked if I would give it to the people of Haiti. And what did you say? And it lives on in all the Americans who’ve dropped everything to go some place they’ve never been and pull people they’ve never known from rubble, prompting chants of "U.S.A.! U.S.A.! U.S.A!" when another life was saved. No kidding. Now the rest of the world can apologize to us.

The spirit that has sustained this nation for more than two centuries lives on in you, its people.

We have finished a difficult year. We have come through a difficult decade. But a new year has come. A new decade stretches before us. We don’t quit. I don’t quit. Sorry, ‘Puter. You had your hopes up, didn’t you? Let’s seize this moment—to start anew, to carry the dream forward, and to strengthen our union once more.

Thank you. God Bless You. And God Bless the United States of America. Amen. Because we really need it after last year.