Update on Kang Nam

If you are about done with Michael Jackson, you may be interested to hear that the Kang Nam has turned around. This ship, which is suspected of carrying illegal materials, has been shadowed by the U.S.S. John McCain for weeks now. The ship, believed to have been bound for Burma, seemed to be running critically low on fuel. No one is sure why the Kang Nam, or 강남 for you Volgiphiles, turned around.

The North Koreans have warned that dire consequences would follow the interception of any DPRK ship; however, we may have no other choice. We continue to watch this bizarre story with interest.

Venereal Interests

If you aren’t up on these things, the planet Venus is shrouded under dense, lethal clouds. As a result, humans have never really seen what it looks like. Do not be fooled: we have maps and topographies and all sorts of neat, orangey-brown looking things—but these are simulations of the surface based on radar data and liberal use of a coloring pen.

In fact, we know very little about the appearance of Venus’ surface. The Soviets managed to get a few of their Venera probes to take some photographs of it before they melted. But the Soviets were not the best imagers, and the very best of their stuff produced a distorted mess like this:



Recently, retired Microsoft research scientist Don P. Mitchell got hold of that original image data, and by combining that data with Photoshop CS2 and some pretty advanced knowledge of image transformation, he managed to correct some of these pictures.

The result is stunning, and the most astonishing pictures of Venus ever seen. Check out this sample:



It actually looks like a real place. The Czar is confused as to why this is not making more news. Check out how much work and genius went into it.

Czar's Cry For Help

After a hard night on the town, Czar returns home a bit likkered up and starts landscaping his neighbor's yard. Unfortunately for the Czar, his neighbor had not requested assistance in landscaping, and the local constabulary arrived in force.

Not reported in the police report is that Czar was attempting to carve a secret Gormogons sign visible from space.

Just another example of The Man trying to keep your Gormogons down.

Update on MJ

Washington Post reports that “Michael Jackson’s body will be driven to his Neverland Valley Ranch in central California as early as Thursday....”

This is what the Czar pictures.

Big Step Forward

Congratulations to the team at Yale that made a breakthrough recently in creating the first electronic quantum processor. While it's rather basic, it represents a huge step forward in computing. Quantum computing is the next major leap in computer processing - likely to yield exponential increases in speed and capacity. This next leap is still in our future but these steps hold promise. Read more here.

Royal Bargain

AFP reports that each Brit will pay the equivalent of $1.15 to support the royal family this year.

The Czar lost count, but how much will the average American pay more this year since the Obamas came into the White House? It’s a substantial bit more than that.

Obama, Honduras & Iran

So…well, well, well. All your Volgi’s giving the president the benefit of the doubt on his potential strategic reasons for not commenting on Iran seems to be in vain, given his intemperate and despicable “meddling” in the situation in Honduras. Mr. President, when you end up on the same side as Hugo Chávez and Fidel Castro, grab the parking brake and hang a bootlegger reverse.

The situation in Honduras is unfortunate, to be sure, but given the fact that the Supreme Court ordered the military to intervene, we are not dealing with the run-of-the-mill Latin American generalissimo-bids-for-power coup d’état. Indeed, the most obvious superficial analogy may be the military coups in Turkey in defense of the Atatürkist order. Answers will arrive sooner or later. As much as the President—and many European foreign ministries—may think that the defense of procedural democracy is the defense of institutional democracy, history teaches otherwise. To violate Mr. Godwin’s law, if the German military had moved on Hitler in 1933 when he passed the Ermächtigungsgesetz effectively abrogating the Weimar constitution, it might not have been such a bad thing. Similarly, the Atatürkist coups d’état in Turkey—regrettable in many, many ways—may have preserved a republic—albeit a very, very imperfect and weird republic—in a neighborhood where they’re rather scarce on the ground.

Why would Obama do this? Unless he’s entirely following State Department-type politics of procedure, the juxtaposition of his not-so-masterful inaction on Iran and his quick jump to the defense of Señor (maybe still Presidente) Zelaya strongly suggest Obama’s instincts are those of Jimmy Carter: in any foreign crisis, find the most anti-American side and take it.

Why this might be so is suggested in the article the Mandarin, with uncharacteristic scrutability, posted below characterizing Obama as an “African Colonial,” that is, one who’s internalized a European political ideology and wants to level any traditional structures in its way. There’s a kernel of truth here, but it leans entirely too heavily on Obama’s African roots. Obama, in his own Afrikanikos-Amerikanos Agonistes memoir, describes his first visit to Kenya—in 1988 when he was twenty-seven years old. It is too much to claim that he was shaped by an African ethos. Africa the metaphor, however, seems to be crucial.

Obama seems to have been shaped by a combination of hero worship (ultimately bitterly disappointed) of his absent Kenyan father—and a dedication to his “dreams,” among which standard-issue left-wing economics and anti-colonialism feature prominently—and the left-wing, anti-American academic ethos in which his mother, a perpetual Ph.D. student who married foreign men, stated America was “not” her country, and spent her life outside the U.S.—even refusing to return with her fifth-grade son when he went to Hawaii to live with her parents and get his education at the élite Punahou School.

From his grandparents, to Grandpa’s commie friend Frank Marshall Davis, through his education at Occidental and Columbia, it’s likely Obama’s left-wing worldview was continually reinforced. And what was a huge portion of left-wing concerns back in the late-’70s and early ’80s? Tiersmondisme. Third-Worldism. After the national-liberation movements of the ’50s and ’60s and the enthusiasm of the New Left for them, the discipline of defining the anti-Western side as that of the angels became central to the engagé curriculum. Obama himself, writing at the remove of years specifically invokes some of their totems:

To avoid being mistaken for a sellout, I chose my friends carefully… At night, in the dorms, we discussed neocolonialism, Franz [sic] Fanon, Eurocentrism, and patriarchy. —Dreams from My Father, p. 100

Obama’s faintly ironic tone here doesn’t belie the self-seriousness of the narrative, and nowhere does he show any evidence that these ideas struck him as incorrect, much less that he learned of their insufficiency.

Consequently, rather than an “African Colonial,” I think it’s more fair to say that Obama seems to be a “Third-Worldist Intellectual.” He appears to approach the world with the paradigm of a 1980s grad student: find the encoded master narrative of «Кто—Кого?» (Lenin’s famous Who/Whom?) where кто = Evil Colonialists of Pallor and кого = Their Swarthy Victims. Ergo, anyone who opposes the ECP is the good guy. Iranian revolutionaries? Well, the Shah was trying to modernize Iran. So Khomeini’s the good guy (see Foucault on this point). Meanwhile, in Honduras, the chavista Zelaya regularly denounces el Norte like Chávez and Castro, so any move against him is perforce in the service of Evil and its Pale Purveyors (whom you owe the barest civility and, indeed, maybe an iPod full of your own words to raise their consciousness).

I exaggerate for effect and I certainly hope it’s not the case. But given Obama’s background surrounded by hard Leftists for whom the above is probably not merely uncontroversial but insufficiently vigorous, it‘s hard not to wonder if he’s got this junk rattling around in his intellectual baggage and if it’s not shaping his thinking, at least on a gut level.

Most Inconvenient Facts

The Czar has been waiting for this. Back in March, he commented on Obama’s dubious promise that his administration would follow science, not politics. After all, it was the Evil Bush who suppressed science in order to further political objective, and that he would never, never, never tolerate such intolerable intolerance from happening. And so on.

And yet, in time for Waxman, we learn that the EPA has done exactly what Bush 43 was accused of: burying a report that conflicts with the President’s political needs. Specifically, that carbon dioxide studies do not support the goals of legislation, and that (Gormogons get ready!) there isn’t enough data to support a plan of action like Cap and Trade.

Indeed, as the Czar reads the bulleted findings of this report...whoa. It seems to undo most of An Inconvenient Truth. Rather, its wording makes one wonder whence the authors might have gotten some of their wording. Not accusing; just saying.

And so we see that POTUS Obama has yet to fulfill his mandate of Hope and Change. Indeed, he managed to find the last thing that infuriated the Czar with Bush 43 and replicate it exactly, along with the stimulus mistake, and lapses into detached, dismissive behavior. The difference? Obama has only been president for six months. Imagine what will happen tomorrow.

Socialized Luggage?

Economy in collapse, unemployment up, political instability in Iran and Honduras, and the largest tax on Americans (Cap and Trade) on the horizon, but have no fear because once we get that darn airline carry-on baggage problem addressed everything else will just fall into place.

Once again you have a politician trying to run a private industry. Government should concentrate on running its own operations (i.e., the US Postal Service, IRS, USDA, FDA, etc.) before trying to help run the airline industry. Your Mandarin just can’t see how this will help the airlines become more efficient or benefit the passengers.

Colonial Williamsburg This Isn't

Here is an interesting article from the June 25th, 2009 American Thinker web site by L.E. Ikenga that focuses on President Obama’s identification with the cultural and political mindset of postcolonial Africa.

One can easily identify the policies and politics that are currently being employed by the current administration to what has been or is currently going on in Africa today. Good-bye freedom and the American way, hello third-world standard of living.

Last night I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I dunno.

We took some pictures of the native girls, but they weren't developed. But we're going back again in a couple of weeks. - Groucho Marx as Captain Jeffrey T. Spaulding in Animal Crackers

Crazy President!

The Czar has not been following the Honduran coup situation closely enough for his tastes. He wishes there was more coverage on it, and is ashamed to admit this caught him by surprise.

And the Czar assumes you have not been following it, either. So let him try to explain why the people turned against him.

—The President has assumed a near dictator-like attitude, with subtle and sometimes not-so-subtle oppression of dissenting attitudes and reporting.

—He has abused his constitutional authority by assuming powers and abilities not granted to him, or specifically against the intent of the constitution.

—He has alienated the populace by palling around with dangerous Marxists like Hugo Chavez, and even openly promoting some of those ideas.

—He has pressured the Congress to pass bills that were not properly promoted, without wording even finished, and prevented opposition groups from reading, reacting, or responding to it under the assumption that the majority of citizens would oppose it...effectively usurping responsible legislative due process.

—He has broken promise after promise, alienating his support group but dismissing their concerns to take on positions that are not appreciated or supported by either side.

If the reader is shocked and horrified by this abuse here in the US by our President, imagine how bad it must be in Honduras.

For The Wages of Sin Is Death

As St. Paul so aptly wrote in Romans 6:23.

Today, Mr. Bernard Madoff was sentenced to 150 years in prison for swindling folks out of their life savings. Whether the money came from the rich, the poor, Blacks, Whites, union workers, or white collar administrators. None of that mattered to Mr. Madoff. Mr. Madoff cared solely about feeding his insatiable greed, a deadly sin.

The United States District Court's sentencing is an effective death warrant for Mr. Madoff, currently 71 years old. And a potent warning for each of us not to give in to our darker side, for the wages of sin is death.

*'Puter could, and should, write a post concerning the greed of many of Mr. Madoff's victims. The victims' greed blinded them to a deal on its face "too good to be true."

The Man in the Mirror

Wow, remember a hundred years ago when all that bad stuff was happening in Iran? Thank goodness that all ended, somehow. Because we need to talk about Michael Jackson!

The entire weekend seems to have been Michael Jackson! Michael Jackson! Michael Jackson! Michael Jackson! Billy Mays? ...err.... Michael Jackson! Michael Jackson! Michael Jackson!

The news media once again shows incredible irresponsibility and a total inability to grasp the bigger picture. The Czar agrees that MJ was a major phenomenon 25 years ago, and was a bit of a series of smaller news stories 15 years ago. He warrants his hour on the news this weekend.

But the incessant coverage, the interviews with people who knew him no better than a valet who parks your car, the blatantly manufactured groups of people massing in the streets (the Czar hated the implication that thousands of people in every city of the world were massing together to celebrate his life and music...and loved the sweeping crane shot on one major network, showing crowds of people singing with the two fatal words file footage at the bottom of the screen), and the looped images of him on various red carpets—all these have prompted people to ask the Czar why?

Let us not be sugar-coated here. Jackson was not a glorious figure. He was far from the most talented singer, he couldn’t really play any instrument, took credit for dance moves developed by paid choreographers, and his songs generally consisted of basic spins on simple R&B riffs. His genius consisted of exploting the recording industry to make millions. Seriously: you could hand Michael a dead raccoon, and he would find a way to get fifty million for it from MTV. This is not to humiliate him: this is to acknowledge that he was gifted in controlling the industry to an unprecendented degree (Madonna came close).

But he was also a frightening travesty of humanity: he physically deformed himself, suffered from no end of self-inflicted disorders, had no ability to discern between friends and dangerous people, or discern between smart actions and dangerous ones. He was appalling, insulated from help, and landed somewhere between criminal and somewhat malevolent: time will tell. For each person celebrating his life with dancing and music, there are perhaps fifty people who think “That pitiful SOB needed a good punch in the face.”

So why is the media obsessing about him? Follow along.

—The media obsesses over anything that is more popular than they are. MJ trumps Ed McMahon and David Carradine for that reason.

—The media was unprepared. They had all their video montages and scrapbooks ready for Farrah Fawcett because her passing was so clearly imminent. But MJ caught them off guard and they had nothing ready. So MJ trumps Farrah.

—The producers and anchors think they knew Michael. They listed to his music, danced to his moves, and some of them may have even interviewed him. Iran is a million miles away, and they probably speak some other language there. Some non-English-speaking person dying in the street? Can’t relate to her, but sure remember where I was when “Bad” came out. So MJ trumps Iran.

See the pattern? It’s okay if you don’t—it’s quite subtle. Basically, all three points share the idea that the news media are a bunch of self-absorbed pricks. They worry about anyone or anything that has more followers, like the 14-year-old freshman girl who obsesses over the popular cheerleader clique, and what they think or say. The news media was embarrassed that they weren’t right on top of MJ. They took their eyes off him for a second, and pow: Jackson dies. They have to make up for it, because They Were In Charge, and They Failed to Call It. Omigod, the freshman girl says, I can’t believe he died. Omigod. And three, they don’t care what you think, or what you feel is important. Only what they, in their vain, shallow, and selfish way, care. Consider again that 14-year-old freshman girl—parents are fighting over dad’s lost job, and she’s angrily staring in the mirror at this zit that just showed up the day before class pictures. Ask her what the worst thing is she can think of, and she will point right to the mirror.

Once again, this stopped being about Jackson around...maybe...5:00 on Thursday afternoon. Since then, it has all been about the news media gazing into its mirror. Yes, you feel annoyed and even disgusted with the endlessly fawning coverage (cough, cough, Barack?), and why? Because it is the news media themselves becoming the story.

Facts Choose No Sides in Global Warming

The Czar waits to see the spin on this. Specifically, he wonders when both sides of the climate change free-for-all will each claim conclusive evidence on a recent study. But let us back up a step.

Climatologists have long known that earth has gone through periods of warming and cooling: some have been quite significant, and by various methods these climatologists have noticed a pattern (actually, patterns within patterns) in which the temperature of the earth fluctuates gradually over certain cycle. This cycle and its inherent epicycles seems to repeat in 140 million year intervals. To be clear, these patterns go down to as few as a tens of thousands of years, but the whole bit seems to reboot and start over every 140 million years.

In another department down the hall of Human Knowledge, astronomers realized that the sun kind of surfs up and down as it revolves around the galaxy. As it does so, it passes through the plane of the galaxy down, and up, and down, and up through clouds of gas and dust. Heck, from what we can tell of the size and shape of our galaxy, this appears to occur every 140 million years.

That caught the climatologists’s attention. Coincidences? In science? Fairly rare. The climatologists asked the astronomers if it was plausible that the heating and cooling cycles could be tied to the sun (and earth) passing through the plane of the galaxy. The astronomers agreed it was quite possible, but frankly, we do not have very good data yet as to exactly when the sun goes through, or exactly when those cycles start and end. But certainly, there could be various mechanisms that could tie the two events together.

People on the “there is no anthropogenic global warming!” side (the anti-AGW crowd) were not surprised by this, and tried to use this as proof that global warming is a hoax—you see, this can explain away every aspect of your so-called global warming nonsense. The people on the “manking is cooking away the surface of the earth” crowd (the AGW crowd) disagree: you cannot claim that this cycle accounts for all of it.

The third group, to which the Gormogons belong, says “Not so fast. All this shows is that periodic temperature fluctuations are common on a long and short scale, and that we do not have nearly the evidence necessary to make conclusive claims yet for either position.”

Meanwhile, the astronomers have been busy. New infrared technology and the impressive Spitzer Space Telescope have shown that the Milky Way (that’s where most of us live) is a barred spiral galaxy. And our galaxy is much bigger than we thought. And it is much more massive. All these things were big surprises, by the way.

So the new study said “Wait a minute.” If our sun is now moving through a bigger, more massive spiral galaxy, we need to recalculate the frequency through which we go through that cycle. And based on the most reliable information, guess what? There is no correlation between galactic plane crossings and temperature fluctuations on Earth. No matter how they try to line it up, it ain’t there. And as data become more accurate, the correlation looks even less reliable.

So the Czar makes this prediction: the AGW crowd will say “See? The study shows we are right: that this does not explain away manmade warming!” The anti-AGW crowd will say “See? There are even more factors causing historical changes than you realize!”

Meanwhile, the study actually seems to say “Not so fast. All this shows is that periodic temperature fluctuations are common on a long and short scale, and that we do not have nearly the evidence necessary to make conclusive claims yet for either position.” Trust only in your Gormogons.

Billy Mays, We Hardly Knew Ye [updated]

The Czar offers to put NBC News up against his special “photography” wall, for their decision—in lieu of any evidence or autopsy findings—that Billy Mays clearly died as a result of luggage hitting him in the head on a botched landing in Florida. This includes bringing an unspecified doctor on the show to demonstrate on a plastic brain how the luggage killed him exactly like Natasha Richardson died (the Czar recalls her circumstances being utterly different), and how air travellers might protect themselves from a similar fate.

The Czar taps his fingers, waiting for the news that the late Mr. Mays died of something totally unrelated to the US Air landing in Florida. Tap, tap, tap.

Update: Looks like the Czar knows something. Heart failure, no link to the head bump. NBC News, could you line up along that bullet-ridden wall for a brief photo?

Race Based Employment Decisions (Still) Wrong

The Supreme Court in a 5-4 decision in Ricci v. DeStefano, 555 U.S. ____ (2009), today held thus:

We hold only that, under Title VII, before an employer can engage in intentional discrimination for the asserted purpose of avoiding or remedying an unintentional disparate impact, the employer must have a strong basis in evidence to believe it will be subject to disparate-impact liability if it fails to take the race-conscious, discriminatory action.

In keeping with the conservative wing's predilection (and likely to get Justice Kennedy's fifth vote), the majority narrowly decided the case. The majority only stated that on the record submitted, the City of New Haven could not/did not meet the Court's "strong basis in evidence" standard. The majority explicitly did not touch on any Constitutional issues whatsoever.

In a nutshell, the Court gave effect to the Civil Rights Act's intent: if you're going to openly racially discriminate, you'd better have a reason so good its merit is inarguable. 'Puter can't think of such a reason, and neither could the City of New Haven, or, apparently, the majority.

Problems to the South

The situation in Honduras is starting to get some attention. Unfortunately, I'm not convinced it's the right kind of attention. Simply put, the Honduran military unseated the current president, Mel Zelaya, for his abuses of their national constitution. Apparently, some of the military didn't care for his view of democracy, especially when it started to appear more like a dictatorship. Not surprising, considering that Mr. Zelaya pals around with Hugo Chávez. Re-writing of the Honduran Constitution can only be achieved through a constituent assembly authorized by the Congress. The Honduran Supreme Court declared Mr. Zelaya's attempts unconstitutional and ordered the military not to execute the logistics of the vote. Infighting continuing with Mr. Zelaya firing the top military commander after he said that he would comply with the Supreme Court. The Supreme Court reinstated the commander and the former president fled to Costa Rica. There are outbreaks of support for this move in the streets of Honduras with cheers for the promise of more freedom, development and peace.

So what's the problem you may ask? Support for Mr. Zelaya is rising. Mr. Chávez has pledged to overthrow the resulting government, Fidel Castro has condemned the actions of the Honduran military and Supreme Court, and our very own Secretary of State, Mrs. Clinton has accused Honduras of violating "the precepts of the Interamerican Democratic Charter" and called for a condemnation of the actions.

After President Obama's lame and/or timid response to the events in Iran, this reaction by his administration is of no real surprise to your Gormogons. However, we feel that these actions should begin to serve as a wake up call to Americans. This wake up call should ask each and every one of us: what do we, as a country, stad for? In the past, it would be an easy answer: Freedom. Country after country has looked to the United States as an example of a successful democracy (technically a representative democracy). They look to our Constitution as a guideline. They model their governments after our governmental structure. So what do we stand for now? Is it so easy to answer anymore?

What Bush did right

Abe Greenwald documents Bush’s Iran policy, which looks pretty good at this remove.

OxiClean Kills Again!

Noooooo!!

How come only the good die young?!? Who will now yell at 'Puter throughout commercial breaks!?! From whom will 'Puter learn of amazing new products?!?

Ed, Michael, Farrah and now Billy, too? 'Puter must go make sense of this now.

Captain FakeTan Got One Right

House Minority Leader John Boehner (R-OH) is not 'Puter's favorite Congressman, although 'Puter greatly admires Mr. Boehner's fake tan and 3 pack-a-day habit.

But Mr. Boehner gets it exactly right when he refers to Speaker Pelosi's "climate change" bill ( see also, cap and tax bill; economic destruction bill) as a "pile of shit." 'Puter's only beef is that "steaming" should have been part of Mr. Boehner's description as well.

Good for John Boehner for speaking the blunt truth about this economy-crippling legislation. Maybe there is some hope for Republicans after all.

WaPo tries to nudge Democrats out of isolationist stupor and Obama from his “neutrality”

They headline their Saturday editorial:

Iran's Lessons
Shouldn't 'realism' mandate regime change?

And they conclude:

Still, by now it ought to be clear that the best chance to protect what Mr. Obama calls "core U.S. security interests" lies in a victory for the Iranian opposition. That may look unlikely for now. But it is considerably more probable than a turn toward detente by those now engaged in murdering young women. There may not be much that can be done to help the opposition, though some tangible steps -- more money for broadcasting into the country, for example -- are readily available. But at the least, nothing should be done that would harm the cause of change. That is not just the moral course; it is the most pragmatic and realistic.

Yep. Not that any of these arguments will be unfamiliar to the Gormogons’ readership.

“You know, in a situation like this, there’s a high potentiality for the common motherfucker to bitch out.”

Quoth Maurice “Snoopy” Miller in Steven Soderbergh’s brilliant adaptation of Elmore Leonard’s Out of Sight (1998). And, indeed, unlike the film’s anti-ish hero, Jack Foley, and despite his heretofore increasingly vocal criticism and defiance of the régime, Mîr-Ḥusayn Mûsavî hath indeed bitched out.

The Œc. Vol. doesn’t want to claim the mantle of prophecy, but he will note that if you’d been following the Gormogons’ coverage of Iran, you’d have run across the following sentiment:

Also, there’s a lot of talk about the person of Mûsavî. He is only important insofar as his being robbed was the inciting incident here. He’s a régime-picked stooge, though a saner, more hygenic one than Ahmadî-Nezhâd. Anyone who hangs hopes on him is a fool. If things continue to be unstable, the government is toppled, and he ends up on top, most likely he’ll not be Boris Yeltsin but either a Thermidorian figure or a ten-minute man like Abo’l-Hasan Banî-Sadr. Remember him? I didn’t think so.

Et voilà. Or as we say in Persian, اینك…

Mousavi, who claims he actually won the vote, says he will seek official permission for any future rallies, effectively ending his role in street protests.

The opposition may have little opportunity to keep momentum going within the limits of the law, and the international attention that appeared to bolster their morale could be waning. Also, Mousavi's Web site, his primary means for communicating with supporters, remained down on Saturday; an aide told the Associated Press Friday that the site had been hacked.

Mousavi said he would seek official permission for any future rallies, effectively ending his role in street protests organized by supporters who insist he won the election.

"The problem is we have no one to lead us," a 30-year-old resident of Isfahan told AP on Saturday on condition of anonymity because he feared government reprisal. "We are waiting for a new message, but Mousavi does not want to continue, because after all he is part of the system."

"People are angry and afraid," he said. "They are afraid of the future and angry because they failed to achieve change with their ballots."

People continue to resist the government oppression, he said, although very few dare to defy the government on the streets due to massive police presence.

But they continue to shout from the rooftops at night in Tehran and Isfahan, he said. The shouting was particularly loud after ruling clerics accused protesters Friday of challenging and opposing God with their dissent.

Mousavi alleges he was robbed of victory through widespread and systematic fraud. The regime rejects the claim, refusing to consider new balloting, and on Friday, the Guardian Council—Iran's top electoral body—proclaimed the vote the "healthiest" held since the revolution.

آه. Which is to say, sigh.

Boomstick Review

Your Czar and the Mandarin spent a gloriously sunny day in not unscenic Bonfield, Illinois, taking in the Illinois State Rifle Association’s open house. Nice event: everything from handguns to rifles to shotguns to muzzle loaders to archery...if it shoots, it’s here.

Your Czar was able to try out the new Remington M887 Nitromag 12-gauge shotgun. Remington was pushing these pretty heavily, touting its amazing features which included a synthetic skin that prevents corrosion and fouling, recoil reduction, and the ability to heal the sick from long ranges.

That sounds great, but does it feel good? The first thing the Czar noticed is that it feels surprisingly heavy, despite its comparatively lower weight. The forearm is quite thick to the palm, and that synthetic surface is actually a bit rough on the skin. The trigger actually scratches a bit into the finger pad, and the slide release requires you to dig around to find it. No, that doesn’t sound like much, but trudging around for eight hours a day in a field shootin’ critters? You won’t like it.

That sounds fair, but does it shoot well? Your Czar does not claim to be a great shot with a shotgun, but he missed all ten clays. The Mandarin winged one or two, but missed the rest; then, inscrutably, he figured out the trick—do not use the integrated sights. Simply let the muzzle eclipse the clay and pull the trigger. With this method—decidedly unconventional and probably bad hunting form since you need to keep the weapon shouldered continuously and you literally have to take your eyes off the target to hit it—the Mandarin took after another ten clays, and popped eight of them easily. To be fair, the Mandarin usually can hit ten out of ten with a standard 870, so missing two is still concerning. Your Czar should be able to hit 7 or 8 but got none, so in all, this seemed like a heavy, plodding weapon.

To be fair, another shooter (whom we did not know and would probably not like to) was popping clays with ease using this beast, so it can be a valid shooter. But shooting ten or twenty clays is different than tracking through fields of pheasant for a day or two: good luck, especially trying to hit the slide release for your second shot (with gloves on? Not likely). That said, the recoil was much lighter that your usual 12 gauge: a good, solid thump...but not that crunching shock you get with other twelves. The Czar feels only a little tightness in his shoulder, and that is likely more from the Garand he fired later than the Remington.

Like? No. Hate? No...but stick to an 870 for dependability. Hey, Mandarin...what was that exotic rifle you were running around with?

Night Follows Day, Etc.

Just a little update to 'Puter's earlier anti-union screeds.

The U.S. Senate is preparing to tax everyone's health care benefits. Unless, of course, you're a federal employee or a union member. Yes sirree! Voting Democrat certainly ushered in the most ethical Congress in history.

Remind 'Puter again why he gets up in the morning and goes to work for a company he (partially) owns? Wouldn't it be more rational to get a state job, or quit altogether and live off New York's gold plated welfare system?

A Modest Proposal

New York state is facing a huge budget crisis. The state projects a $17.9 billion shortfall in the 2010 fiscal year. The state is increasing taxes and fees like mad. Leaving aside for the moment the wisdom of continuing runaway spending and raising taxes in the teeth of a recession, 'Puter's got a proposal for the state.

Start taxing state pension payouts. The state income tax is 6.85% (for most -- low end is 4%), not counting some city add-ons (NYC, Yonkers, etc.). There are 350,000 current state retirees. The average annual payout to be approximately $35,000. Some are paid significantly more. In 2008, the pension fund paid out $6.84 billion in benefits. If pensioners paid state income tax on their benefits (like everyone else) the state would have an additional $468 million with which to pay down its debt. And having everyone with income pay income tax would go a long way to reestablishing tax fairness.

When will the state call on its unions to finally start paying their fair share?

It's All About The Kids

Not really. It's all about lining the union pockets, students be damned. Why is it so oppressive to require teachers to pick up a small portion of the tab for their gold-plated pensions? In New York, as mentioned earlier, state pensions are guaranteed by the state constitution. That is, taxpayers are required to make up any shortfall caused by market fluctuations or even flat-out mismanagement. The least the unions could do is pretend to be thankful.

But 'Puter, they've worked hard and deserve a pension. How generous can the pension be? Decide for yourself..

In Tier 4 (the currently effective pension tier), teachers can retire at 55 years of age with 30 years of service. Teachers contribute 3 percent of earnings toward pensions for their first 10 years in the system. (N.B., one just has to be in the system for 10 years, not actively working. You can work for three years, take four off, and work for another three, only paying 3% for six years.) Assuming 30 years of service and 55 years of age, a teacher would receive 60 percent of the average of his highest three years of earnings. State tax free. And for each additional year worked, an additional 1.5 percent is added to your percentage multiplier. If you work until 65, you'd receive 75 percent of the average of your best three years. Additionally, retirees currently receive free health insurance in most districts, although this can be negotiated away. Still think 'Puter's a hater? How does your 401k stack up?

When New York collapses, hot on the heels of California (and perhaps New Jersey), be sure to thank your local politicians and the public sector unions. These NTACs (no talent ass clowns, for those who came in late) are almost solely to blame for the current state budget crises.

Live in the bubble, lose your mind

Writes Mark Steyn.

The real bubble is a consequence of big government. The more the citizenry expect from the state, the more our political class will depend on ever more swollen Gulf Emir-size retinues of staffers hovering at the elbow to steer you from one corner of the fishbowl to another 24/7. "Why are politicians so weird?" a reader asked me after the Sanford news conference. But the majority of people willing to live like this will be, almost by definition, deeply weird. So big government more or less guarantees rule by creeps and misfits. It's just a question of how well they disguise it. Writing about Michael Jackson a few years ago, I suggested that today's A-list celebs were the equivalent of Mad King Ludwig of Bavaria or the loopier Ottoman sultans, the ones it wasn't safe to leave alone with sharp implements. But, as Christopher Hitchens says, politics is show business for ugly people. And a celebrified political culture will inevitably throw up its share of tatty karaoke versions of Britney and Jacko.

i seem to recall that this is also a problem among the very rich—your Doris Dukes, Ross Perots, Howard Hugheses, etc. Essentially, you’re so insulated from the world, your thought processes become disordered as they fail to bump up against the hard truths of life. Something like an induced psychosis, where you have progressively less reality testing.

Caption:

Burns COCKS the GUN.

MR. BURNS

I said, “Get in.”

For Immediate Release

HOLLYWOOD—With the shock of Michael Jackson’s demise now under media control, the music world was pleased to announce that its new King of Pop will be Tom Waits.

No date has been announced for the coronation, which is anticipated to be viewed by millions. King Tom I remained unavailable for comment, but has lurked quietly in the wings of popular music since the early 1970s. It will be his first reign as king of anything.

The King is Dead, Long Live the King.

How ’bout dat ting, dere?

CHICAGO - Chicago White Sox front office spokesman Scott Reifert announced today that fans attending a July 11 twin bill versus the Minnesota Twins at US Cellular Field will receive a free commemorative mini-bat, unlimited ten cent Budweiser, and up to $800 Billion in federal bailout money. Billed as "Recession Demolition Night," Reifert said the giveaway promises to be the "biggest fan attraction since 1979."

The unique cross-promotion was the brainchild of White Sox GM Ken Williams and the Obama Administration, and Reifert said it took nearly 45 minutes of careful planning to work out the details.

"The Administration had $800 billion in unspent stimulus money, and we had a load of unsold tickets," explained Reifert. "I guess you could say it was a real win-win situation."

Read the whole thing at the inimitable Iowahawk. While there, enjoy his send up of our President's exquisitely balanced stance on Iran.

Dysfunctional intel bureaucracy

You know you’ve got to fix something when Joe Biden is arbitrating interagency conflicts.

Pimpin’ ain’t easy, #8

Thank you, Brian Dunbar of space4commerce for linking to the Gormogons in approbation of Ghettoputer’s open-gays-in-the-military suggestion. Welcome to our Blog Pimp Roll.

Apparently Government is the Answer

From TownHall.com

Who Speaks for the Starving Vegetables?

Well, FoxNews.com is reporting that the House of Representatives has passed the Climate Change Bill by a vote of 217 to 205.

The Democrats have demonized CO2 with the help of the useful idiots in the “environmental” movement to pass a bill that essentially will retard economic growth and transfer large sums of money to special interest groups and carbon trading companies like the one owned by Al Gore.

So in the end we are going to outlaw plant food, cause the average American citizen to pay more for energy, force companies to relocate to other countries where energy costs are lower, which in turn will result in more unemployment. And again I ask for what? To quote radio talk show host Quinn, “Liberalism always generates the exact opposite of its stated intent.” It is your Mandarin’s opinion that this bill will do nothing to help the environment, in fact it will cause more harm. By forcing manufacturing out of this country to other countries with more lax environmental standards, the “dreaded” CO2 being dumped into the atmosphere will actually increase, defeating the so called purpose of this bill.

What this really boils down to is not the Democrats’ desire to protect the environment and reverse global warming (which is not happening by the way), but rather to kow-tow to their big donors in the Sierra Club, Greenpeace, and other groups of donors who see this as a way to punish the United States for having the audacity to be the wealthiest country on the planet and level the playing field for less developed countries. Because as we all know it's not their corrupt régimes, failed socialist policies, or lack of innovation that has kept them as third-world dumps, but the policies of the capitalist scourge also known as the United States.

Is Anyone Else Noticing These Things?

Wow. Thank goodness that President Obama is stopping the poisonous effect of lobbyists on legislation.

So he must be pretty ticked that Waxman-Markey Bill was riddled with lobbyist-influenced requirements!

We can rest assured that the President would never support such a bill, as that would make him a hypocritical tool of the lobbyists.

Sleep, citizens, sleep.

Memo: Ben Franklin, To the Iranians

And thus spake Ayatollah Ahmad Khātamī to the Iranian people: “I want the judiciary to punish leading rioters firmly and without showing any mercy to teach everyone a lesson.”

And so said Benjamin Franklin when a similar threat was issued to the Continental Congress: “We must, indeed, all hang together, or most assuredly we shall all hang separately.”

'Puter Busted!

Finally the fuzz caught up to 'Puter, busting both 'Puter and Mrs. 'Puter on a bogus domestic violence rap.

That is, until 'Puter realized he'd ben caught orange handed.

*What kind of genius law enforcement officer writes in his report "at which time Cheetos potato chips were used in the assault"? Cheetos are clearly corn based life forms, with glowing orange skins.

Friday reading

A video and some articles for clicking through if work is slow, or if you find yourself belangoured on the weekend.

• On Pajamas TV, FotG David Frum continues his argument for the GOP’s forming “new majority” by presenting itself differently and picking up some more detailed policies in health care and environmentalist. It’s a challenging topic, and David’s answers may not be congenial to the conservative core of the party, but it’s a necessary exercise, thinking about which ones he’s right and about which ones he’s wrong wrong about rather than merely something one doesn’t want to hear.
• Asia: not the coming global hegemon you may have heard it will be.
• The Ford Foundation falls on hard times. Wipe away your tears (of laughter).
• Thinking about ‘hiking the Appalachian trail?’ Please, think again.
• Revolutions devour their children—Iran’s is no exception.
• Lying his way to socialized medicine.
• And on an upbeat conclusion, the neatest obit I’ve read this side of the pond in years. What a literally marvelous life. (Via the Anchoress.)

Michael Jackson...RIP!?!

The Crown Prince of Whacko...dead?

The Czar did not see this one coming.

Wow. Wish we had chosen a nicer picture under the circumstances.

Intercepted Twits

A great deal is being made about the role Twitter is playing in the Iranian turmoil. The Czar quickly decided to investigate how great this role is. The following dispatch arrived from our okhrana, which makes the Czar wonder if he really is paying these guys to sit around and browse the web all day.

But here is what we have learned in the five minutes of monitoring Twitter traffic:

mirguz says meet @ shiraz ct in 1 hr

tabrus will meet u there. bring banners and sign boards! god help our glorious cause!

flarr just had lima beans for lunch

tabrus asks if flarr had that cool red sauce on them

flarr no, that sauce is too rich;kills taste of lima beans

ghariz spent the last hour cleaning up a three hole punch that opened up on living rm carpet

mirguz says "hate that!"

ghariz yeah but it happenz

hjiur wonders were is everyne? no one at protest?

flarr awesum! new jonas bros song on radio!!

hjiur police on scene rumors that shots fired

tabrus what song flarr? the "baby" one?

flarr no, i cudnt make out what title is! just missed it - is new tho

mirguz luvs the jonas bros!!! sick

hjiur hiding in alcove of bldg; tear gas bad and eyes hurt

flarr jons brs are stoopid!

mirguz wonders if irgc will kill twittr access?

ghariz no @ mirguz; twitter 2 importnt 4 our great cause

hjiur bleeding wonders where is evry1?

tabrus taking nap; tivoing conan obrien

Sigh.

TJIC on Sanford

We haven’t talked too much about Governor Sanford, which makes us once again totally unlke the media (who is talking about him way too much).

The Emir of TJICistan seems to have completely captured the Czar’s thoughts on the matter, from why this is different from Clinton, to why Mrs. Sanford is so darn smart, to the serious political ramifications the governor put in play in a moment of stupidity.

Nice piece of writing and exposition. Next time TJIC is in Muscovy, he will be allowed to walk the streets for one day without any of our secret police following him. Nor will his hotel room be bugged. Enjoy!

Tron, Unplugged?

Your Volgi mocks the Czar, quite openly. One ingenious way he does it: he sends the Czar stories like this, in which a guy who has become an incredibly minor internet phenom for dressing something like a Tron character—except that he, himself, looks nothing like an actor—has evidently run into a bit of a financial shortfall and must now eBay his private plane.

Okay. Yes, the Czar has seen this guy’s pictures before, and rarely in a respectful context. The Czar finds it difficult to feel any sympathy for a computer programmer—not the best paid of technology fields and rarely salaried—who elects to spend chunks of money on making ill-fitting Tron costumes, touring the country extensively to show up at science fiction conventions, and (no small factor) purchasing and maintaining a private plane.

So the Czar agrees with his decision to sell the plane. He might further suggest toning down conference attedence (though he would be welcome at GormogoniCon 2010...or rather, his cash would), and maybe hanging on to last year’s Tron suit.

And that’s just the crap we know about.

Gore Bore?

Some House Democrats are struggling to get an ill-advised energy tax bill passed. Many Dems believe this will unrealistically hike energy taxes. Republicans think it’s bad business and bad for business.

Evidently, they do not have the votes to get this passed. But they were close: they needed something to tip the balance. So House Dems announced that Al “Inconvenient” Gore would participate in a news conference with Nancy Pelosi.

And the number of undecideds, and yessers, announced they would now be voting no.

So Gore and Pelosi were asked to, um, fight the good fight from their homes, please, maybe just among their own friends, and so their conference was cancelled.

Well, not really cancelled: POTUS Obama would be briefing the press and talking to those folks in hopes they would change their vote to yes. Because that’s how important it is. Not because Gore is a climatalogical disaster and Pelosi is persona less grata for non-liberal representatives.

“Pelosi said the number of Democrats undecided on the Waxman-Markey energy and climate change bill had decreased, so Gore’s trip from Tennessee was unnecessary.”

Yeah, the number of undecideds did decrease: they decided on no. And perhaps the word “unnecessary” might be changed to the word “undesirable?”

Farrah Fawcett, RIP

By now, you have heard that actress Farrah Fawcett has passed away, largely as expected from such serious cancer. If this is the first you are hearing this, we support your decision to get your news only from this site.

The Czar could well wax philosophical about how she was so much more than an attractive model from the 1970s, and how she really proved to be a much better actress than people expected from Charlie's Angels, and how she used her struggles with cancer to inspire people with their own trials, with the same quiet strength she displayed.

But the Czar won’t. He still very much enjoys this poster from 1977. And that’s how the Czar will remember her.

Followers

Apparently Microsoft's Internet Explorer 8 is having some issues with the Blogger sites, particularly those that use the "Followers" section. I've temporarily taken down that section in an attempt to allow those with IE8 to continue enjoying the site. From my soapbox - there are web standards that if browser implementations just follow much of this would go away. But, unfortunately, we have sites that are built to work with just IE or other sites built to XHTML standards that IE barfs on. There's plenty of other choices: Firefox, Safari, Opera, and Chrome. each has their own quirks and problems, but by and large, they do a better job at handling websites than IE does.

New Official Gormogons Euphemism

Committing adultery will henceforth be referred to as "hiking the Appalachian Trail."

So let it be written, so let it be done.

What, Me Worry?

With plunging tax revenues, California has stated it will issue IOUs to its creditors, including taxpayers.

'Puter recommends a large Silicon Valley company purchase the IOUs from recipients for pennies on the dollar, then pay its California taxes with the IOUs.

Or, California could just take the Obama Administration's approach and just start printing money.* That's certain to shore up investor confidence in the state.

*'Puter knows states can't print money. Hold the angry email, please.

¡Good Question!

The Spanish professor is puzzled. Why, Gabriel Calzada wonders, is the U.S. president recommending that America emulate the Spanish model for creating "green jobs" in "alternative energy" even though Spain's unemployment rate is 18.1 percent -- more than double the European Union average -- partly because of spending on such jobs?

And for the trifecta

Ford gets into bed with the government.

تيان آن من در تهران؟ Tiananmen in Tehran?

Pray for Iran.

That'll Teach 'Em

In another stunning show of amateurism, the White House is no longer offering invitations for Iranians to visit any July 4th celebrations around the world (see your Volgi, below, for a similar degree of shock). This is in response to the Obama administration’s quite recent discovery that Iran is an unpleasant place.

Incidentally, no one has RSVP’d in the affirmative, anyway. So screw ‘em, right? If they don’t want to come, we say let them stay home! Great plan. Great mixed message. The State Department is one swinging ladder truck away from being the Keystone Kops.


The Czar sees a pattern here; do you?

The Obama administration announces something kooky and fun.

The conservatives retort the idea is stupid and dangerous.

The Obama administration resents the retorts, and says they will go ahead anyway.

A news story occurs.

The Obama administration announces the time is wrong for the idea, and is dropping the whole thing.

Seriously: is anyone else keeping score on this crap?

Three words to prevent this embarrassment: Think. Then. Act.

Let us be more specific:

Iran, kinda like this.	Our Dept. of State, much like this.

No baked beans for you!

The Iranian government’s Fourth-of-July invitations have been rescinded, conveys Mike Goldberg, again with some vociferous commentary.

The hot dog diplomacy was a symbol of this administration's naive faith in the power of diplomacy and in their own power of persuasion. So there is some small consolation in seeing Barack Obama and his supporters mugged by reality. Now let them deal with the Iranian regime as it really is -- a ruthless military dictatorship that sponsors anti-American terrorism around the world and is in desperate pursuit of a nuclear weapon. You might have to negotiate with such a regime, but you don't invite them over for a game of cornhole.

Confucius* says: I will remind Ghettoputer that “cornhole” is what we in D.C. call “bean-bag toss,” not what you’re thinking.

*For those who came in late: Confucius is the Gormogons’ Œcumenical Volgi.

A Most Dangerous Thing

In an open love letter to POTUS Obama, Aaron Colohan of the Richmond Liberal Examiner opines that the President is doing a fine job of managing both Iran and North Korea, even though they are two very different countries.

The Czar is pleased that a Liberal understands that any two countries can be seen as different. In Iran, Colohan believes, “[i]t is...very exciting to imagine the possibilities.” Why imagine? Why not choose one good possibility and begin to implement that? Colohan acknowledges that Iran is important and must not be ignored. “However, to say that more action than rhetoric is needed...is misguided at best. It is not a failure of our president, nor is it a timid approach, that dictates rhetoric over action. It is an understanding that the situation in Iran must be in the hands of the Iranian people to be successful, both nationally and internationally.” That sounds very much like a college freshman answer in PoliSci 101; when the Czar took that course over a century ago, his professor would simply have snorted “Why must it solely be in their hands?”

What happens in Iran is in the United States’s interest, absolutely: however, the people of Iran are not in a position to make this change by themselves, or they would have done so decades ago. Colohan falls under the fallacious mental trap that all countries are the same, and if America can Yes We Can to change, why can’t Iran? He fails to realize that the Iranian people are oppressed, enslaved, and victims of a fulsome regime. The fact that they have the courage to protest by the thousands is a landmark event: they need strong support from the West that they are doing the right thing...that this is worth the risk. Revolution is not as easy as Colohan thinks, and there is every reason to think this effort will fail in Iran. No matter what we do, they are going to hate us if they fail. Our only chance to win their love is to back them on the big play so they win.

Action can include rhetoric, by the way: how about the President calling on the people of Iran to overthrow their yokes? Or calling on the military to join the people? How about promising that a democratic Iran will be fully welcome in the family of nations, and convincing them that their efforts will not be wasted blood? Into which category would Colohan place “Tear down this wall?” Those four words changed history; one has a hard time picturing Reagan saying the Berlin Wall deeply concerned him and later deciding it was outrageous. Reagan did not play the troubled and contemplative hand-wringing course: he spoke out and up, because the people under Communism were not going to vote their way out of it.

Colohan suggests action could consider sanctions (Iran is already under sanctions, to no avail, and that only punishes the people more), vocal ideological support (discussed above), or military action. He then complains that military action would already stress our little army more than it should, and would simply spread support of the Iranian evil to its neighbors by creating an unwelcome American puppet government.

Three points: Military action against whom? The mullahs are the bad guys, not the people. No one is seriously planning to sweep in with the military, are they? Second, our military is nowhere as weak as liberals think. We could easily address a growing Iranian threat if needed, but the need is far-fetched. What would our troops do? Third, Colohan seems to over-estimate the popularity of Iran in the region. Even the Saudis want the present Iranian government to go away. The Czar has reason to believe that the protests are being funded in part by Saudis. And whence the provenance? Does Colohan think Iraq is an unwelcome presence in the region? It is unwelcome by only one country: Iran. Colohan seems to understand neither the people nor the dynamics of the region.

Colohan adds that “our president and his staff must, out of presumptive logic, work on the operating principle that even a new regime in Iran, with reformist ideas, will probably interact with the US initially in the same fashion as the old regime.” See, this is what boggles the mind. The turmoil in Iran is not about Mahmūd Ahmadinezhād defeating Mir-Hossein Mousavi Khameneh. It is about the drive for democracy defeating the evils of the Islamic Republic of Iran. The people of the world are smart enough to know that Ahmadinezhād and Mousavi are the same regime. The new regime we seek, and the Iranians seek, is a functioning (dare one say it?) Iraq-style democracy.

And so Colohan explains that North Korea is different from Iran, and his first point is to explain that our military is too weak to engage North Korea...which is the same argument he used for Iran. Whatever. He continues by explaining that North Korea cannot be transformed like Iraq. Curiously, this reveals the limits of his world view. The Czar suspects that Mr. Colohan does not think that much of Iraq to begin with, and further suspects that a US-led Iraq-style intervention is all he knows. The US would probably go a little further back than 2003 when dealing with North Korea; probably Japan, late-1945, would be the better model. The Czar recalls that was a successful reintegration. Perhaps economically, include lessons learned from Germany 1990?

Colohan does agree that North Korea will still believe it is 1953, and correctly notes that the DPRK has not ever actually fought a hot war since. This is true: but that does not mean we have to match them with Shermans and Garands. The US could realistically snuff out their communications infrastructure in 30 minutes, control their airspace in under five hours, secure the DMZ in less than two or three days, and halt their military in two weeks without nuclear detonation. The Czar suspects we are already, inadvertently, taking out their navy.

That said, the Czar agrees that the situation is painfully volatile and many options must be reviewed in detail. But the Czar must regret that Colohan’s suggestion that the UN is the logical solution to all things North Korea indicates that someone has not been keeping score on the UN’s game lately: how’s Darfur playing out? Zimbabwe? Iran? The United Nations are precisely the frat brothers you don’t want around.

Colohan makes another observation about the North Koreans: the men with any real military experience are elderly and unreliable; the majority of their military is young, untested, and the product of mass propaganda education with no outside correcting influences. As he puts it, “[i]t is a most dangerous thing to have power in the hands of the inexperienced and poorly advised.”

The Czar wonders if, in his fawning for Obama, Colohan sees the stunning irony in that truth.

Alan Greenspan, Sax Man

The best article you’ll read all month and the best thing Joe Queenan has written in years.

One of the great what-ifs in recent history involves Alan Greenspan. Complicit in one of the greatest economic collapses ever, Greenspan has now been exposed as utterly bereft of the skills needed to helm the Federal Reserve. He was too indulgent, took too many risks, suffered from too much self-confidence and perhaps even hubris. Yet few Americans are aware that a career forecasting GDP and setting interest rates and tamping down the nation's money supply was not Greenspan's dream as a child. Rather, he dreamed of growing up to be a jazz musician.

And he did. A very, very, very good one. What happened? Read on.

Paranoid, much?

In this WSJ article, Ms. Gorman discusses the plan by the current administration to kill an initiative started by President Bush to make use of government "spy" satellite data for domestic use. Let me first get my gripe out: the author's title is misleading. The White House isn't abandoning a spy-satellite program it is abandoning a spy-satellite usage policy program. Maybe a minor nit and maybe the WSJ didn't have room for the extra words.

The main goal of the program was to expand the availability of classified satellite imagery to federal, state and local officials to assist with emergency response, homeland security and other limited usages. Democrat legislators argued (dating back for 2 years since the start of the program) that it would lead to domestic spying.

Instead, these officials with paltry budgets will have to request this data (or similar declassified or unclassified data) from the DHS. At the size of the federal government that we're heading for, I wouldn't be holding my breath if I were posing such a request. Fundamentally, the federal government has a difficulat time communicating with other parts of the government, let alone state or local officials. With the added overhead of the DHS "gatekeeper" to this data, the response times for the frontliners will increase.

It is too bad that the Obama Administration and the current Congress is taking this tact. This is useful data, and if well organized and made available in an approprriate way, could really help support border patrols, police, fire and rescue efforts.

But, of course, the President doesn't really know what the NGA is and I doubt many on the hill get what the real potential here could be.

Can't Spell "Oklahoma" Without The "Ho"

'Puter's waiting for Julia Roberts to reprise her role as a prostitute in this lovely little story.

The setting? Oklahoma City. Characters? Lahoma Sue Smith*, hooker. Unnamed man, john.

The plot? Man has marital difficulties, so naturally, he goes trolling for hookers. Man finds aforementioned hooker. Man is short on cash, negotiations over price for services begin. All parties agree on a price: a $30 flat of Frito-Lay products. Undercover cops swoop in, arrest hooker, let john go.

Prostitution never looked classier.

*And what jackass parents decided to name their precious newborn daughter Lahoma? Did they want to be able to say, "OK, Lahoma" then giggle at their word play? Jerk monkeys.

An Unheavenly Conjunction

The Czar thought it was creepy a while back when Natalie Cole did a duet with her late father.

You know what could be an even weirder duet?

Buzz Aldrin and Snoop Dog.

If you have the sort of mind that wonders what that could be like, well, wonder no more.

The Czar likes Buzz Aldrin, especially because he awesomely punched lunatic Bart Sibrel in the mouth when the latter accused the former of faking the moon landings.

And that gives him way more str33t cred than Snoop.

Ed McMahon, RIP

A full-bird Marine colonel with 85 combat missions who taught carrier landings. Bet you didn't know that.

Let’s hope he’s gone to the Party Machine in the sky.



Fast forward to 3:57 on the counter for the reference, possibly GorT’s favorite ten seconds of television in history. Also, all you damn kids who don’t get either part of the parody…scram, you’re making us feel old.

Payback against the soccer players…

…who dared to wear green wristbands.

Obama & Iran: Better late than never?

Maybe, but Mike Goldfarb says, “Why the hell can’t he get it right the first time? Again?!”

Obama & Iran: Better & Better

More credit where it’s due.

Afghanistan: Not a winning strategy.

PR trumps war-fighting? Hearts and minds are very important, but killing the enemy is more important. Plus, you make this call, and immediately every Taliban stronghold will be surrounded by a ring of hostages. They’ll strap babies to their chests and shoot around them, to be only a little hyperbolic. Obviously: avoid civilian casualties whenever possible, but doing so at all costs isn’t wise. One of those costs will likely be victory.

Remember what former NVA General Staff member Bùi Tin told the WSJ in 1995:

We had the impression that American commanders had their hands tied by political factors. Your generals could never deploy a maximum force for greatest military effect.

All Barack Channel Health Care Extravaganza

'Puter thinks that there's one thing and one thing only that could make ABC's visual mash note to President Obama's health care agenda tolerable.

Have Jake Tapper, and maybe John Stossel, run the entire interview. These two gentlemen would certainly make the show worth watching.

'Puter would love to see Messrs. Tapper and Stossel pull off a "the emperor has no clothes" moment on national television.