Patience is a virtue

So I sit here in my wife's office (a few minutes down the road from our house) on New Years' Eve as we are currently without power thanks to the high winds hitting our area. I would spend some time in this post bemoaning our above-ground power lines and Pepco's limited tree management (granted they get a bunch of push back from people who want the trees to remain) but that won't get any of us very far.

Anyway, while I'm sitting here, hours away from 2009, I came across some interesting tech-stuff. In reading about this, one wonders why we're investing so much money in inferior and more dangerous technology. Specifically I'm talking about lighting - CFLs (Compact Fluorescent Lightbulbs) vs. LEDs (Light Emitting Diodes). To date, LED technology hasn't been economical or sufficient to supplant other lighting solutions for the home or office. But in reading this article, it appears that within a few years, we'll be there...with a solution that doesn't have an 11-step EPA dictated cleanup process. So, instead, tons of consumers are buying these CFLs at higher prices than standard incandescent lightbulbs and we'll be left with all of these CFLs with mercury in them. Maybe not dangerous in small quantities, but taken as a whole, we're creating a situation that with a little patience in technology, would have been avoided.

Be safe, and have a happy new year!

Obama & Abortion

Depressing look at the transition’s published abortion agenda. He concludes:

So, buckle up. As the size and scope of government continues to bloat under Obama, look for the size and scale of the abortion industry to follow suit. And evangelicals are partly to thank.

You can even more convincingly substitute “Catholics” for “evangelicals,” more’s the pity.

Are we in for four years of this?

Apparently when a republican president has a exercise routine that most of us are probably envious of, it's a bad thing.  So bad, we get commentary from the media like: "What I mean is the fact that Bush has an obsession with exercise that borders on the creepy" (Jonathan Chait, LA Times on Bush running 3½ miles a day and encouraging more cross training to a judge).   Even the elder Bush was attacked for placing Arnold Schwarzenegger as the chairman of the Presidental Council on Physical Fitness and Sports.  But when a democrat has a rigorous workout regimen, the praise is lauded to the point of a romance novel with quotes like, "The sun glinted off chiseled pectorals sculpted during four weightlifting sessions each week, and a body toned by regular treadmill runs and basketball games." (Eli Zaslow, WaPo).  As pointed out by Michelle Malkin: 

Chait argued that Bush’s passionate devotion to exercise was a dereliction of duty. “Does the leader of the free world need to attain that level of physical achievement?” he jeered. “It’s nice for Bush that he can take an hour or two out of every day to run, bike or pump iron. Unfortunately, most of us have more demanding jobs than he does.”

Does this magically not apply to President Elect Obama?  Ms. Malkin goes on to point out that Chair's piece isn't alone in criticizing Bush's exercising schedule - other journalists have written similarly and the noted protester Cindy Sheehan has as well.  

Will the bloom come off the rose?  Are some in the mainstream media so invested in Obama's success that they will continue to blatantly sugar coat every report and toss up softball questions?  Where is the Fourth Estate?

The last roundup

Meanwhile, the supervillain plots his revenge.



Congratulations to the Eagles, whose fan base is in self-loathing withdrawal....

Tintin on the way

Sony/Paramount seem to have figured out how to get these movies made, as the Gormogons advised.

All this is prologue to recommending this terrific essay on Tintin and Hergé from the Economist.

The Phoenix PD gets a merry Christmas...

...from an unlikely though decidedly elfin benefactor.

Natale hilare de Gormogonis

Meanwhile the universe denies Ghettoputer...

...his dearest Christmas wish:
Via Film Drunk.

Required reading: National defense.

Stuart Koehl & Martin Feldstein.

Sorry for the light posting. Your Volgi is beat and running around like a madman due to various family obligations. But you need to read these items.

NICE!

This is a “great” “blog.”

Yurtta kargaşa, dünyada kargaşa

Friend of the Gormogons Claire Berlinski pens a terrific, terrific article on some deep fault lines in Turkish government and society that may be headed for a crisis. Read it now.

Riddle me this, Batman

How is P.E. Obama going to reconcile his support from the far left with the reality he is facing and the programs he is pitching. Let's take a specific domain that's prominent in the news: the auto industry.
The auto industry is suffering from two issues, in my opinion. First, a lack of innovation and adoption of new technology. Maybe they fell into a greed-induced coma where they figured that the American public was satisfied with the cars rolling off of the American car manufacturer's assembly lines. Second, the industry is beholden to the United Auto Workers (UAW). When all is said and done, these workers (some of which aren't working) are earning $70-80 per hour to turn out these cars (which some auto executives have claimed have lagged behind foreign car innovations). This is comparison to auto workers overseas who earn roughly half that amount per hour to do similar work. But it's not all gloomy for the American manufacturers - look at this video highlighting what Ford is doing in Brazil. Watch until then end so you can hear why we don't have plants like this in the U.S. We could...but we'd rather this high-tech innovative and flexible solution be implemented overseas.
President-elect Obama has said that the U.S. needs to be innovative in order to create new jobs and rescue the economy.
So, the crux of this riddle, Batman, is whether Obama will take on the UAW in an effort to re-innovate the American automotive industry. In my opinion, there is no reason why any of these companies shouldn't be able to (a) build a plant like the Brazil Ford plant in the United States, and (b) innovate and produce better cars with more fuel efficiency and out-of-the-box partnering of other solutions from other traditionally non-automotive companies (think On-Star as an example of the marriage of GPS and cellular technologies applied to the automotive industry). But it's going to have to start with a fight. A fight, that it looks like Bush is dodging by authorizing the bailout instead of allowing bankruptcy to take its course.

Josef Vissarionovich Stalin, né Jugashvili...

...the Great Omelette Maker. Russia begins sinking back into a miasma of lies.

America’s greatest living novelist…

…Mark Helprin fires off another jeremiad on America’s neglect of her own defenses and her political class’s incompetence in prosecuting the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq.

Quinn the Eskimo, Godot and Barack Obama

Are the same person. Discuss.

Here's what we know about Bob Dylan's Quinn the Eskimo a/k/a The Mighty Quinn (and don't even pull that Manfred Mann version crap on 'Puter): "Ev'rybody's in despair, Ev'ry girl and boy, But when Quinn the Eskimo gets here, Ev'rybody's gonna jump for joy."

Here's what we know about the unseen Godot from Beckett's En Attendant Godot. His two claimed compatriots spend much of the play speaking of Godot, but "in fact hardly know him, admitting that they would not recognise him were they to see him." Eventually, the two compatriots descend into despair, knowing they will not see the Godot they expect.

Here's what we know about P.E. Obama. He was a Rorschach Blot prior to election, in which people saw what their minds predetermined he ought be. On the basis of his actions post election but prior to O-nauguration, the people who claim to have known him best now claim not to recognize him at all. Gays are furious because Obama does not support gay marriage (and by extension on Proposition 8), and now because Rick Warren is providing a benediction at the O-nauguration. The Leftie Wingnuts are irate because Obama has made "centrist" (actually, center-left) appointments to his Cabinet, foreshadowing continuing on in Iraq.

Short answer, Quinn the Eskimo is Obama in all his pre-election (pre-doing-anything-at-all) Hope and Changeyness, where Obama sat back and let people think they knew what he would do. Just ask the lady who thought if Obama was elected, she wouldn't have to pay her mortgage or for gasoline anymore. Paraphrasing, "When O the Savior's in D.C., Everybody's gonna ride for free!" Godot is the long expected Obama who never shows up. Ask the gays and lefties described above.

Who is Obama really? Neither fully Quinn the Eskimo nor fully Godot, that much is apparent already. We're just going to have to wait for Obama to start governing to find out.

Welcome to the Real D.C., Media Vixen

D.C. has a problem with crime, including muggings? No way! How could that happen now with the dawning of the Obama Change-a-lot era in D.C? Why were we caught unawares that D.C. is a city sharply divided along race and class lines, with a large crime problem destroying "neighborhoods" just over the horizon from The Mall, The Smithsonian and the federal government building enclaves?

Maybe someone should report on this, like, you know, MSNBC reporter Mika Brzezinski, who was in fact the muggee in the above scenario?

And no, 'Puter's not insensitive. He was mugged at least three times during high school in the glory days of Mayor for Life Marion Barry's crack fueled administration. Once, on a Metro platform while the Metro "workers" in the kiosks looked on, amused.

Pithy Commentary on N.Y.'s Budget

The ever delightful Ramirez in the New York Post submits this political cartoon this morning.

A picture is truly worth a thousand words.

Greatest football player ever, RIP

Sammy Baugh is dead at 94. For those who would doubt the assertion in the subject line, consider the following (insert "arguably" if you want to be a pedant).

• Baugh invented the modern quarterback position. He led the league in passing as a rookie. He put up over 21,000 yards passing in when the game was still dominated by runners (he was drafted as single-wing tailback). He remains (with Steve Young) the record-holder for most seasons leading the league in passing, and is the sole record holder for most seasons with the fewest interceptions. The Hall of Fame notes “Baugh still ranks second in numerous other statistical marks such as most seasons leading the league in pass attempts, most seasons leading in completions, most seasons leading the league in completion percentage and is tied for second for most seasons leading the league in passing yardage.” In 1945, his 109.9 passer rating was just slightly above the league average of 47.4 (the second-most dominant season by that measure).
• He was the greatest punter in NFL history, retiring with a career (1937–52) average of 45.1 yards-per-punt (only surpassed by an active player, Shane Lechler (2000–)). He averaged 51.4 yds./punt in 1940 (never surpassed), 48.7 in 1941 (third all-time), and 48.2 in 1942.
• He was a dominating defensive back.
• Baugh's 1945 completion percentage, 70.33%, stood as the NFL's record until the pass-happy year of 1982, when Ken Anderson surpassed it by a whopping 0.22%.
• In 1943, he led the league in passing, punting, and interceptions.

Baugh was an obvious choice for the Hall of Fame's first class and is routinely named one of the top pro and college players of his time and all-time. He also had a sense of humor and irony. When asked after the Redskins’ 73–0 destruction in the NFL championship by their arch-rival Bears (using Clark Shaughnessy's revolutionary T formation), if the touchdown Charlie Malone, one of his receivers, dropped early on would have made a difference in the outcome, had it been caught, he replied in his Texan drawl, “Sure. It would have made it 73–7.”

On a personal note, the Volgi’s step-uncle caught a pass from Baugh in 1948 when the Redskins’ star visited the city champion Central [now Cardozo] High School team. Now 80, he says he can still feel how much his hands hurt. (Central beat Gonzaga, for those keeping score in D.C.)

Rest in peace.

Obituaries in the Washington Post, Washington Times, AP, ESPN, Dallas Morning News, redskins.com, The Sporting News (2). Sparty & Friends concur with us. Wilbon. Boswell. Daly.

School Fundraising

'Puter guesses this is one way for a school PTA's head of fundraising to raise money in order to "fill the till," so to speak, in anticipation of Gov. Paterson's budget cuts. There's a PTA mom who's completely committed to keeping the student body happy.

'Puter prefers the school fair fundraising method, with dunking booths, cake walks, arts and crafts and silly games. But 'Puter guesses they just do things differently Downstate on Lawn Guyland.

Are these sort of shenanigans (i.e., mom-on-boy statutory rapes) just happening more now, or are we just hearing about them more now?

Caught In Pittsburgh's Orbit

What has finger guns and loves the Pittsburgh Steelers?

These girls.

Ah, Kissing Suzy Kolber, is there any site that can take down an entire city's sports loving populace as thoroughly as you? (Warning: PROFANITY).

Pennsylvania Nazis.

I hate Pennsylvania Nazis.

Upstate

(a) Upstate New Yorkers, like Ohioans, ARE Midwesterners, even if it’d crush their remaining aspirations towards East Coast sophistication to admit it. But guess what, folks, if the Great Lakes are your “ocean,” you're a Midwesterner.

(b) You guys went to Niagara?! And didn't even tell me about it?! Thanks an effing lot!

’Puterjr.: Advice for the Perplexed

You remember the IBM PCjr, right? Well, what you didn’t know is that there’s a Ghettoputerjr, as well. And he's a chip off the old fatherboard. Mr. & Mrs. ’Puter were at a parent-teacher conference when the -teacher party bushwhacked the parent- party with their ten-year-old, fifth-grade prodigy’s essay on human nature, the dance between the sexes, etc.

Oddly, it was not received well. Turns out the harridan of a shrew of a misandrist crone* of a teacher isn’t “exactly the biggest fan of boys in general, and ’Puterjr in particular, so this really sent her over the edge.” While the ’Puters will be speaking to their son about the appropriateness of the content, we thought we'd share it here as an advice column. Many are the pale, friendless boys on the internet who’ll greedily accept the advice of ’Puterjr, the Love Doctor, whose name has been redacted “to protect the guilty.” Click on the pages if you need a larger copy.

*N.B., The Volgi’s characterization based on her sexism. ’Puter may love her. Or have taken his clan to Niagara with her and her family. Who the hell knows at this point?

New York Budget Woes

New York is in an awful hole. Years of overspending coupled with a shortsighted reliance on Wall Street revenues has led to New York's penury.

'Puter's no liberal Democrat, but he must respectfully concede that Gov. Paterson has successfully identified and stated for all to hear the problem. New York spends too much, taxes too much, and is now spending more than it can take in. However, Gov. Paterson's new budget does not address the root of the problem. Spending actually increases 1.1% over last year's budget (if cuts to the current year are included, spending decreases 0.5%). Real, meaningful cuts are necessary. Here's some freebies.

Paterson's budget proposes to set up a new pension tier, rather than calling on amending the Constitution to permit the government to amend all its pension tiers. Under New York's bizarre pension law (and Constitutional amendment), the state cannot take away pension benefits once offered, it can only add to them for existing employees. 'Puter's not advocating changing the pensions of current retirees, but it is fair to change the pension deal current employees have on a forward going basis. That is, New York should be able to say to its employees, you get to keep the benefits you've already accrued, but you're moving into a defined contribution plan going forward. No more defined benefit plans. So, if an employee has already garnered full pension benefits, she gets to keep them. If not, she keeps what she has (20 years, etc.), and then the state starts kicking in to a 403(b) for them. Welcome to the real world.

Also, Paterson should be cutting government employees. He mentions "rightsizing," but this appears to be a smokescreen, as the jobs he proposes to cut will be destroyed through attrition. Paterson should tell everyone whose job can be automated that they should start looking for work. This is a surprising number of people in many departments. New York has done a lousy job of using internet services for government transactions. See, e.g., the secretary of state's division of corporations. Paterson should also identify critical government functions and non-critical functions, and start laying off non-critical workers.

No one wants to cut health care and education. But how can you balance a budget if you effectively declare two-thirds of it sacrosanct? Paterson can make the easy argument that it's not debilitating to the poor to bring New York's Medicaid benefits into line with California's, which would be about a one-third cut. And for education, Paterson could take the appealing position that spending money on education is fine, but we need results, and the means to measure and incentivize the results. If as the unions claim, more money were the answer, every public school student in NYC would be geniuses. Insist on accountability for greater funding.

Paterson deserves immense credit for stating the truth. It's a start. However, his budget should have put the truth into operation. 'Puter will never have a socially conservative governor. It would be nice to have a fiscally conservative governor, though.

How about it, Dave?

Upstate Goodness

'Puter feels badly. He's always bashing Upstate because of its soul-crushing taxes and intrusive (and omnipresent) government.

But there are some really great things about Upstate. The people are fantastic, as nice as Midwesterners for the most part. And, for six months of the year, the weather really can't be beat. If you like winter sports, it's great the other six months as well. Here's some places and events to consider next time you're passing through Upstate on the ridiculously overpriced New York State Thruway.

Try the Corning Museum of Glass in Corning, NY (free for kids under 19!). It's absolutely fascinating, and the downtown has an 1930s small village vibe about it.

Or, if Christmas is your deal, try Skaneatles, NY's Dickens Christmas. Beautiful little village, near Syracuse, NY, on a Finger Lake.

In warmer weather, try one of the Finger Lakes region's wine trails. Here's the Seneca Lake wine trail, and here's the Cayuga Lake wine trail. The scenery is gorgeous, with rolling hills and long, narrow lakes. Rent a bus or limo, and go with friends, as there will be much drinking afoot.

For skiing, skating, luging and any other winter sport you can imagine, try the Lake Placid, NY area in the Adirondacks. Home of the 1980 Winter Olympics, where we beat those danged Rooskies in hockey.

And no trip Upstate is complete without a stop at Niagara Falls, NY (actually, Ontario side is better). GorT, 'Puter and families went for a visit recently, and it's truly a world wonder. Ride the Maid of the Mist! ('Puter met and had a conversation with a veteran member of Patton's Third Army who helped rescue our men at Bastogne last time he was there, but that's another story entirely.).

So, this is 'Puter's feeble attempt to make up for all the Upstate and New York bashing he does. Upstate's a great place, and you should visit it. Often.

Now, back to the regularly scheduled bashing with the much anticipated special interest caterwauling that will accompany Governor Paterson's soon-to-be-announced bare bones state budget for next year. "The children! The poor! The elderly! Your cuts will kill them all!"

Beginning of the end for Google?

Hard to imagine their brand going down, but look what they did to Yahoo! But here, they admit their search engine's primary merit, algorithm-based objectivity, is false.

Time to move to ask.com?

Via Buttle's World.

The 'Puter has been sailing again

Two explorers have found a dagger-board schooner in Lake Ontario just west of Rochester, NY. It is apparently fairly well intact and sitting upright on the lake floor about 500 feet underwater. The mystery is that there have been no reports found of a dagger-board type schooner sinking in the lake. These ships were in use in the early 1800s. Oddly, the video surveillance of the ship from the exploration team shows that it appears that the ship has been stripped of all useable items. Aside from the case of beer that Puter left behind as the ship went down.

Obit follow-ups

Read

• Jody Bottom's definitive obituary for Cardinal Dulles in the Times of London.
  
  
• Stephen Hunter's wonderful tribute to Bettie Page, with just the right tincture of jaundice, in the Washington Post.

And, yes, this post may mark the only time Avery Cardinal Dulles and Bettie Page are ever linked in print.

Requiescant in pace.

Bettie Page, RIP (con't.)

Be sure to check out ’Puter's distaff Canuck soulmate in spleen, Kathy Shaidle, who's as great on the late Ms. Page as I expected she'd be when I considered holding my obit for her post last night.

Bawl more

As Washingtonians, the Gormogons are required to endorse—heartily—this beautiful piece of Baltimore-bashing by Mike “Christmas Ape” Tunison (of Silver Spring) over at KSK.

While we all enjoy Old Bay on our fries, loved to watch Homicide, and at least one of us rooted for the Orioles (before they were bought by the Devil Hisself, Peter Fallen Angelos), we all have inherited the attitude from our parents and grandparents that the nicest thing the people of Balmer, Murlin, ever did for the people of Warshington was to build a tunnel under themselves.

Oh, and before y’all go dissing D.C.—we’re multi-generation lifers, punks. Everything you hate about D.C.* is because the rest of the damn country sends all their student-council suck-up power-hungry ass-wipes to our town. We mostly ignore them.

*Except the weather in August. That's just vile no matter who you are.

FotG Jeff Gedmin on RFE/RL

Great interview. Read the whole thing.

We just had a reporter kidnapped and then released after four days in captivity with the Taliban in southern Afghanistan. Our man was moved around during that period of time. What he encountered was astonishing. He witnessed time and again how local villagers, community and tribal leaders all urged the Taliban to release him. They all said the same thing to the kidnappers, This reporter works for the most respected, most trusted radio station in the country.

Around the Church

Avery Cardinal Dulles, S.J., the American Church’s greatest theologian this century—indeed, made a Prince of the Church for his writings—has died at the age of 90. Requiescat in pace.

First Things and America both post archives of his work for them. Profoundly recommended for Catholics, and recommended even for non-Catholics (and non-Christians) interested in intellect of the highest level.

While Cardinal Dulles’s reward is doubtless eternal, for the here and now, the release of Dignitas Personæ is of tremendous urgency. It stands as perhaps the single best attempt at providing a moral framework for biological research yet to appear. Don't believe me? How about Yuval Levin, no Catholic he:

One of the great ironies of the stem cell debates of the last few years has been that some of the most serious attention to scientific detail and reality has come from Catholic circles, while some of the most wide-eyed messianic faith-healing talk has come from liberal political (and sometimes even scientific) circles. There is another example of the former today, with a new Vatican document about reproductive technologies and bioethics. I’m not a Catholic and am in no position to speak to the theological components of the document, and I don’t agree with all of its conclusions (on IVF, for instance) but its treatment of the latest scientific developments and of the related ethical questions is exceptionally good, and its attitude—very pro-science and very clear about ethical boundaries and the reasons for them, with arguments that reach well beyond Catholic theology—is very impressive.

Re: Willful ignorance

Confucius* says, “Ha.”

Sorry, ’Puter, with card-check a-comin’ in the Transformation into Obama Nation, you're going to see more and more unionization, with more and more parts of public life coming under the sway of the thugs who can pay off pols to keep them from having to work competitively. Join up early, man. It’s your only hope.

St. James of Hoffa, ora pro nobis.

*For those who came in late: Confucius (孔夫子) is the given name of the Gormogons’ Œcumenical Volgi.

Willful Ignorance

The United Auto Workers reached a new low today. After scotching the Big 3 Bailout, Mr. Gettelfinger, mustachioed union flack, turned around and blamed Republican senators. After all, Republicans must be at fault, because they insisted that UAW members share some of the hardship required to turn their failing(ed?) companies around in exchange for a bailout. Perhaps Mr. Gettelfinger should talk with Mr. Urbanski, the head of an Upstate teachers' union, who is rumored to have said, "If we kill the cow, no one gets any milk."

Mind you, Republicans only asked the UAW to concede to take wages similar to those earned by their non-union counterparts at successful auto manufacturers in America, such as Toyota. No way, no how, no deal.

In a just world, for its stunning arrogance, the UAW and all its workers would be out of a job because of their shortsighted refusal to compromise, replaced by workers happy to take their jobs at the required wage concession, and the turned-around auto companies would thrive, building cars Americans actually wanted, and not the CAFE-stunted Demo-buggies the greenies want. 'Puter loves hisself the run on sentence.

In all likelihood, because unions have bought and paid for the Democrat party, the Big 3 will get their taxpayer funded bailout, the UAW will make no meaningful concessions whatsoever, Congress will continue to pretend the American automobile manufacturing business model is worth saving, the Big 3 will churn out bad cars and we'll all meet back in Washington in March, when the money runs out again.

'Puter's vain hope is that the good to come from this economic crisis will be the death of this iteration of union, in both the public and the private sector.

Our Thanks Are Insufficient

Check out this story from of all places the Washington Post.

It is easy to forget our troops and the incredible deeds they do each day to protect us and our freedom.

It reads like the script of a Hollywood blockbuster. Twelve man special forces team? Check. High altitude night drop into enemy territory? Check. Fighting twenty times their number? Check. Surrounded by an enemy fighting from elevated positions? Check. On an exposed mountaintop? Check. Harrowing back and forth battle, including "danger close" air strikes? Check. The good guys win? Check.

Heck, as The Gormogons have argued many times amonst themselves, Hollywood should start making unrepentantly patriotic war movies again. It's got to be better than the anti-war excrement Hollywood made during the Bush administration. Here's a good place to start.

The Thirteen Days of Christmas

On the thirteenth day of Christmas, my GorT made for me, an animatronic woman substitute because I'm a lonely freakshow Canuck afraid of commitment and completely unattractive to the opposite sex!

And a partridge in a pear tree!

Bettie Page, RIP

Along with Forrie Ackerman, another iconic cult figure passes from the scene. Bettie Page 1950s pin-up, Playmate, and under-the-counter-nudie-pix goddess has died at 85.

When Page left the public eye in the 1960s and became a devout Baptist, a "whatever happened to?" mystery built around her and she became celebrated in all sorts of underground media in the ’70s and ’80s, perhaps most famously in the character of cheesecake model "Betty Page" late Dave Stevens’ comic The Rocketeer.

Page herself apparently remained unaware of her fame as an icon of ’50s underground sexuality until 1993, at the age of 70, when an interview with Robin Leach and an Entertainment Tonight segment on her opened her eyes to the virtual subculture which had grown up around her. A biography that appeared four years later alleged that she had at least a few episodes of serious, violent mental illness in midlife, but Page disputed the author's characterization of the incidents vigorously (not least in the 1998 interview at bottom here).

Although she preferred not to be photographed to preserve the image of her younger self, Page remained a beautiful woman into her ’80s and died following a heart attack. Rest in peace.

And now a public-service announcement

Courtesy of the Beast.

Pimpin’ ain’t easy, #2

Thanks for the link, JJV at Potpourri for $500, a stylin’ group blog the Gormogons hereby endorse.

And, hey, if you like us too, stick us on your blog and we'll return the favor. Right over there! Under Blogpimpin’. Unless your blog is all homoerotic vampire art. In which case, Ghettoputer will read it religiously, but we're not linking to it.

Descent into Madness

“Subbasement Thirteen, paranoid delusions of seventh-grade-girl conspiracies. Enjoy your stay, Mr. Owens.”

Great Moments In Teaching, Episode #42,727

Returning to a familiar, if hackneyed, theme. There's comfort in familiarity in these trying times. So, kudos to you, seven horndogs at Spirit Creek Middle School outside of Augusta, Georgia!

Not content to merely have love triangles with other faculty members, you decided to get your freak on at school in the public safety office on an inflatable mattress during school hours.

Oh, and there's a reported love child. Diana Ross would be so happy, in her worn, torn dress that somebody threw out ('body threw out!).

'Puter wonders whether the inflatable mattress was a union-negotiated benefit, to prevent rug burn.

Finance Industry Humor

Best bond risk disclosure ever. H/T to 'Puter's pretend girlfriend, Megan McArdle.

Random 'Puter thought for the day. How soon will "Blagojevich" become a verb, and what will it mean?

Others picking up on us?

Looks like one of our favorites, Michelle Malkin, is vibing on the same thread as my earlier post. For a better written and thought-out piece, check her out here. Hat tip to her for pointing out that the 30th annual COGEL (Council on Governmental Ethics Laws) Conference is taking place in Chicago this month. Yes, snort-worthy indeed. Worth noting while this Blajo deal is going down is that the House Ethics Committee is expanding an investigation of Rep. Charles Rangel (one of 'Puters favorite representatives from his state). It's amusing to note that the investigation concerns whether Rangel protected an oil company from a big tax bill when the head of the company pledged a $1M (that's million, 'Puter) donation to a college center named after said represetative. A democrat protecting an OIL company from having to pay a TAX bill. Right? Right.

The Gormogons endorse Kirk Lazarus

Vocative particle, vocative particle, vocative particle!

In Other News ...

Three month U.S. T-bills traded at a negative rate today. For the first time since 1940.

Yup. This is going to end well.

MSM Sketch Artists: MSNBC Edition

MSNBC certainly knows how to kick up a story with some fancy graphics. At right is the current cover page picture on the Blagojevich saga on MSNBC's intertube place. 'Puter will not dignify it with a link.

Check out this winning sketch done by Mrs. 'Puter's 6th grade advanced art students using highlighters and grease pencils they swiped from Burger King.

C'mon, MSNBC. Even your own in the tank for the Democrats Prospective-United-States-Senate-Candidate-From-Pennsylvania-and-President-Elect-Obama-[Boot]licker Chris Matthews thinks this drawing stinks. For the love of Pete, the "artist" didn't even finish the judge's bench. 'Puter's seen more intricate Ziggy cartoons.

Have a little self-respect.

Live from Chicago—Follow-up

Our correspondent expands:

Rodomir and Barack... not the best of pals. In fact, what much of the national media seems to be missing is that Rodomir is almost universally hated by Dems and GOP alike. He is a man, bereft of allies, who is too stubborn to admit he's screwed everything up for himself. Generally, it's the Tribune's fault, which is the source of his hatred of that paper and the subsequent extortion of them.

Barack has consistently distanced himself from Rocket Rod. Obama is closely tied with Mayor Daley, but Daley himself spends very little time dealing with Rod. Here's Rod's involvement with the Chicago machine: his father-in-law is Alderman Überman Dick Mell. Dick basically championed Rod all the way into the gubernatorial office in hope that Chicago—particularly "Dick Mell's Chicago"—would have greater power in Springfield, which has long had a hostility of all things Chicago. And has not always worked in Chicago's best interests, but in the State's. All well and good, except that Blagojevich publically alienated Mell, and when Rod turned on Dick, Dick turned on Rod.

Point: there is no way this will make Barack look bad. Blago was clearly a "controlled flight into terrain" years ago, and Obama never got within stink's distance of him.

Also: criminally stupid? No—the feeling here is that Rod is delusional.

Press Conference Questions We'd Like to See (But Never Will)

Here's a free one that's been buzzing around in my head related to the Republic Windows sit-in wackiness. Now with groovy follow up questions!

"President Elect Obama, prominent Democrats from your hometown of Chicago support forcing Bank of America to pay Republic Windows' alleged debt to unionized workers illegally occupying Republic Windows' property, despite the fact that Bank of America has no liability to Republic Window's workers. Do you support government intervention requiring lenders to pay the debts of their borrowers for which the lenders are in no way liable in order to achieve a government determined "social good?"

Free follow up questions if President Elect Obama answers in the affirmative: "Isn't this a form of redistribution of wealth?" and "Why do you think banks will continue to lend to businesses under these arbitrary government imposed conditions?"

Tim Russert would've asked the question. When will one of his colleagues strap on a pair and start asking hard questions?

Live from Chicago

One of the Gormogons' many collaborators on the ground (we're everywhere) reports in on Rocket Rod Blagojevic's spectacular flameout, worth of the great corrupt Chicago pols of the past:

As you can imagine, it's a zippity-do-day here for me.

Not sure what news you're getting, but CNN basically skimmed the story.

Here's what happened.

I found out about this Sunday night: my mother-in-law's best friend came over for dinner. She's a legal secretary, and said that one of their attorneys managed to get something Blago said on tape. It was "big," whatever it was, and that the Governor would be arrested within 72 hours. It was so serious, in fact, that the attorney resigned because his pro-Blago employers would crush him like a bug. The law firm, indeed, just hired Dick "Divine" DeVine for a massive but undisclosed sum in hopes that Blago, once arrested, would hire this DeVine and this firm.

Boy, was she right about it being big.

There are basically three things. You already know he was shopping the Senate position to the highest bidder, or else he would just take it himself to avoid impeachment and springboard a rebranded Blago for the Presidency in 2016.

Of issue was the Children's Memorial Hospital shakedown, too: thank goodness the CEO of CMH reported it and never paid the bribe.

But the trigger was actually the Chicago Tribune extortion case. When the Trib declared bankruptcy yesterday, there was an expectation of massive layoffs... and if the editorial board that Blago threatened was part of the layoffs, there would be no way to protect them as victims because, hey, they were just laid off. Not because the Trib was threatened. If they wanted to get Blago for extortion, they had to move before anyone was let go at the Trib.

Gosh, this is great. World's-most-honest-politician-ever Jim Edgar, former Gov of Illinois, was shocked. He said he knew Rod was bad, but no idea it was this horrific.

Best analogy I heard on WGN radio: "He basically stuck out his jaw [when he said on Monday 'Go ahead and tape me, you got nothing on me'], and FitzGerald laid him cold with one punch."

Blagojevich and Republic Windows: A Chicago Morality Tale

'Puter was going to post on Gov. Rod Blagojevich's (D-IL) ridiculous statements that (1) Illinois will no longer do business with Bank of America ("BoA")and (2) BoA must pay former Republic Windows workers for lost wages. Gov. Blagojevich's twisted logic goes because BoA's borrower Republic Windows has failed to make the payments, BoA, as a bystanding third party with deep pockets must do so. Or else. (Reminds 'Puter of Frank Nitti attempting to intimidate Eliot Ness at his family home in The Untouchables, "Nice house. I said, nice house." Nitti was smoother.) But Powerline beat 'Puter to the punch.

While 'Puter was mulling over his post on Gov. Blagojevich's economic blackmail tactics, Gov. Blagojevich went and got hisself indicted for trying to sell President Elect Obama's vacant Senate seat. At this moment, 'Puter realized that Gov. Blagojevich is not merely stupid, he's criminally stupid. Attempting to strongarm an international banking entity in the press is foolish enough [ed. -- it frequently works in ChicagObamaLand]. Trying to sell a United State Senate seat is colossally foolish. The losing bidder is certain to rat you out. Additionally, Gov. Blagojevich was under federal investigation for unrelated improprieties at the time, and he knew it.

On a side note, how many people who ran in the same circles as President Elect Obama are going to have to get indicted before the mainstream press starts doing some real digging?

As 'Puter's Scotsman buddy says, "You fly with the crows, you get shot with the crows." Those Scotsmen have a way with words.

** Gov. Blagojevich's hair could not be reached for comment.

UPDATE: D'oh! GorT beat 'Puter to the punch!

More Chicagobama Politics?

As mentioned below by the 'Puter, all the Chicago / Illinois politicians are making visits on the Republic Doors & Windows sit-in. That is, all but Gov. Blagojevich (D). He's enjoying a little stay behind bars for trying to sell the about-to-be-vacant Senate seat previous held by P.E. Obama. read more here. Is this the kind of "open, honest and ethical" government that Pelosi and company touted would be coming with the rise of the democrats to power in Congress? (at least Rep. Jefferson (cold, hard, cash Jefferson) is facing justice of sorts as Anh “Joseph” Cao (R) beat him in his failed re-election attempt). Maybe as the honeymoon wears thin, the hoopla over the P.E. "who is he really" Obama will open other people's eyes as well and maybe some of his connections back to Chicago politics will come back to haunt him.

I Got Your Moral Hazard Right Here

The union-led farce taking place at Republic Windows and Doors mentioned below is quickly metastasizing, and may ultimately threaten our ailing financial system. Every Illinois politician is visiting the barricaded workers to convey support and sympathy, along with every news crew in the greater ChicagObamaLand metroplex. Even President Elect Obama himself chimed in in support of the trespassing workers, stating that "they're absolutely right."

As mentioned previously, Bank of America cut off Republic's line of credit when it became apparent Republic would be unable to meet the terms and conditions of its line. This caused Republic to shut its doors, allegedly in violation of WARN, which requires 60 days notice or back pay when a firm of more than 100 employees makes layoffs. The workers are now blaming Bank of America for the shutdown, arguing that Bank of America should make payment to them instead of Republic, as Bank of America allegedly caused the shutdown (and more likely because Bank of America actually has money). And people seem to be buying this logic, including such bright lights of economic theory such as Rep. Gutierrez (D-IL) and Rep. Schakowsky (D-IL). There's a special place in Hell for politicians who sell America's long term well-being to improve their reelection prospects.

You want to see the credit crisis go nuclear? Watch what happens when Congress or the incoming Obama administration attempts to force Bank of America to pay funds to workers to satisfy the obligations of insolvent employers to whom Bank of America lends. Banks will pull back so quickly on business credit, it will make your head spin. Banks would be unable to calculate their risk of lending, and prudently would refuse to lend, which would cause more businesses to fail.

As tempting as it must be for our incoming redistributor-in-chief, changing the rules in the middle of the game is suicide. Our financial system relies on the rule of law when it lends out money. If the rule of law changes on the whims of politicians, risk becomes too great, and credit dries up. Just ask Russian businessmen.

If you think that forcing Bank of America to pick up a borrower's debts just because Bank of America can, 'Puter knows a place where you can see for yourself the real world impact of such policies. Zimbabwe.

Never Forget

Mr. Vice President, Mr. Speaker, Members of the Senate, and of the House of Representatives:

Yesterday, December 7th, 1941 -- a date which will live in infamy -- the United States of America was suddenly and deliberately attacked by naval and air forces of the Empire of Japan.

The United States was at peace with that nation and, at the solicitation of Japan, was still in conversation with its government and its emperor looking toward the maintenance of peace in the Pacific.

Indeed, one hour after Japanese air squadrons had commenced bombing in the American island of Oahu, the Japanese ambassador to the United States and his colleague delivered to our Secretary of State a formal reply to a recent American message. And while this reply stated that it seemed useless to continue the existing diplomatic negotiations, it contained no threat or hint of war or of armed attack.

It will be recorded that the distance of Hawaii from Japan makes it obvious that the attack was deliberately planned many days or even weeks ago. During the intervening time, the Japanese government has deliberately sought to deceive the United States by false statements and expressions of hope for continued peace.

The attack yesterday on the Hawaiian islands has caused severe damage to American naval and military forces. I regret to tell you that very many American lives have been lost. In addition, American ships have been reported torpedoed on the high seas between San Francisco and Honolulu.

Yesterday, the Japanese government also launched an attack against Malaya.

Last night, Japanese forces attacked Hong Kong.

Last night, Japanese forces attacked Guam.

Last night, Japanese forces attacked the Philippine Islands.

Last night, the Japanese attacked Wake Island.

And this morning, the Japanese attacked Midway Island.

Japan has, therefore, undertaken a surprise offensive extending throughout the Pacific area. The facts of yesterday and today speak for themselves. The people of the United States have already formed their opinions and well understand the implications to the very life and safety of our nation.

As commander in chief of the Army and Navy, I have directed that all measures be taken for our defense. But always will our whole nation remember the character of the onslaught against us.

No matter how long it may take us to overcome this premeditated invasion, the American people in their righteous might will win through to absolute victory.

I believe that I interpret the will of the Congress and of the people when I assert that we will not only defend ourselves to the uttermost, but will make it very certain that this form of treachery shall never again endanger us.

Hostilities exist. There is no blinking at the fact that our people, our territory, and our interests are in grave danger.

With confidence in our armed forces, with the unbounding determination of our people, we will gain the inevitable triumph -- so help us God.

I ask that the Congress declare that since the unprovoked and dastardly attack by Japan on Sunday, December 7th, 1941, a state of war has existed between the United States and the Japanese empire.

Caroline Kennedy

Is singularly unqualified to be appointed a United States Senator from New York, or from any other state for that matter.  The doorman at her swanky Manhattan apartment is at least as qualified.

There.  Someone had to say it.

And can we all agree that the Kennedy "politics is in their genes" meme has long ago run its course?  The Kennedy fortune was the result of criminal enterprise.  JFK stole his election.  Ted is a murderer.  It took JFK, Jr. three tries to pass the New York Bar Exam. Ambien and Patrick Kennedy do not mix well.  Joe Kennedy II, like his Nazi loving namesake, supports anti-democratic leaders.  THE KENNEDYS HAVE NO SECRET POWERS.

Governor Paterson, please, please, please appoint someone whose qualifications do not include "to the manor born."  

Bye, Bye, Bye

Goodbye, Buffalo Bills.  In part one of the long goodbye, the Bills play their first regular season game in Toronto, Ontario, Canadia (motto: We've Got Yer Constitutional Crisis Right Here, Buddy!).

On the upside, the Bills will be playing indoors in Toronto, where it will be comfy cozy.  In Orchard Park today, where the Toronto Bills play outdoors at Ralph Wilson Stadium, the forecast is for 3-5 inches of lake effect snow, with temperatures dropping through the teens, and winds ranging from 15-25 miles per hour and gusting.

Ah, Upstate.  When will you stop being everyone's beeoch?

Woodie Guthrie, Where Are You?

Unions.  Gotta love them.  Down is up and up is down to these folks.  In ChicagObama, Republic Windows and Doors shut down its factory after its lender Bank of America refused to make further disbursements on Republic's operating line of credit.  Republic's monthly sales have tanked from $4 million to $2.9 million.  Faced with the lack of operating funds, Republic closed its doors.

Now the plant workers' union, United Electrical Workers, has occupied the building, claiming they are owed pay and vacation, and that somehow this is Bank of America's fault for being forced to take place in the financial sector bailout.  "'We're going to stay her until we win justice," said Blanca Funes, 55, of Chicag[Obama], after occupying the building for several hours."  Ms. Funes does not speak English the report goes on to note.

Interestingly, the report, after quoting an AFSCME representative extolling the rich Chicago labor movement history, mentions in passing the Haymarket Riot where union folks just happened to toss a pipe bomb into a crowd of policemen sparking a riot that ultimately delayed acceptance of the standard eight hour work day.

Will someone please explain to 'Puter what the heck is "just" about a union taking over private property and demanding Bank of America (with whom they have no relationship) continue to fund a failed business, just so they can keep their jobs producing unprofitable goods?  Has Ms. Funes been listening to the Big Three's testimony before the House and Senate this week?  On Univision of course.  If this is Big Labor's position, and if this position is accepted by the Obama Administration, then we are in for a very long recession indeed.  

Forrest J. Ackerman (1916–2008), RIP.

A good and, within a tiny subculture, great man has died.

I hadn't even finished the tribute issue of Rue Morgue I picked up just because of the cover with him on it. I was never a devoted FM reader, but I had a few copies and enjoyed the heck out of them.

GorT will be interested to learn (if he didn't already know) that Forrie coined the term "sci-fi."

Ripozu en paco.

Caption: The first issue I ever bought, in Ocean City, Maryland, in the summer of 1978.

On the Road With Volgi

Poor Volgi. The Gormogons wish you a speedy recovery from your unfortunate Malaysian karaoke injury.

It's a little known fact that Volgi's favorite passtime is to travel to foreign lands, karaoke in the native language, and pick fights with the locals. With his Mongol ancestry, that's just how he rolls. If you see a yurt and a guy drinking fermented mare's milk, steer clear. It's Volgi on vacation.

Seriously though, Volgi. Best wishes, and keep reaching for those rainbows ... at the Copa! Copacabana!

I'll Have What He's Having

Today, E.J. Dionne in the Washington Post proves once again that he is hitting the pipe. In this lovely piece of work, Mr. Dionne posits that P.E. Obama will be able to recklessly spend on the entire liberal Democrat wish list because -- wait for it -- we're already broke. We apparently must spend and spend and spend nonexistent funds in order to get over this, and everyone, whether liberal or conservative agrees.

Middle-class tax cuts? Practically a done deal. New investments in green technologies? No problem. "Smart" meters to help households save on energy costs, plus a new electricity grid? A natural. Universal broadband? It's about future growth. Investments in medical information technologies? Good for jobs now; good later for cost containment, better treatment and health insurance reform.

[Snip]

But this view is shortsighted. If the government has to spend a lot of money, why not use it for programs that can lift the economy now and also deliver a long-term payoff? Insisting on the same old approach to a stimulus means demanding only backward-looking investments that leave us with the same old problems once the spending spree ends.

Of course, the stimulus should include some tried-and-true measures. There is nothing wrong with spending on roads, bridges and mass transit, along with school construction and rehabilitation. It's a good time to make up for our long-standing underinvestment in infrastructure, that boring but hugely important word. State and local governments also need fiscal help if they are to avoid retrenchment that would only negate federal stimulus efforts.

And as a recent report by Sharon Parrott of the Center on Budget and Policy Priorities warned, the downturn "is likely to cause significant increases both in the number of Americans who are poor and the number living in 'deep poverty,' with incomes below half of the poverty line." The poor should have
first call on the new spending. They need help -- and they will spend the money quickly because they have to.

So, to recap, spend our nonexistent tax revenues (or our newly printed inflationary dollars) on the poor, because that's the best way to turn the economy around. The poor are well known by economists to be the economic engine of America, with their massive job creation and stellar work ethic. And also, throw in large infrastructure projects run by the government, funded out of thin air, and just watch the economy turn around. ['Puter does agree that the infrastructure needs work, starting with the electric grid.] It worked so well in the Great Depression. Oh, and don't forget bailing out the profligate state governments who spent their way into insolvency. 'Puter's looking at you New York and California.

What could possibly go wrong? Uh, Mr. Dionne? Ever heard of runaway inflation with zero growth, or its far more evil cousin, deflation?

'Puter's going to take a nap now. He's got a headache from trying to wrap his mind around the sheer inanity of Mr. Dionne's prescription.

Confucius* says...

...octopuses are freakin' awesome.

*For those who came in late: Confucius (孔夫子) is the given name of the Gormogons’ Œcumenical Volgi.

Kids Am Stupid

And their parents may be the prime cause. This may also be a recurring theme at The Gormogons.

At least two genius cheerleaders in scenic Bothell, Washington took pictures of themselves nude and sent them to their boyfriends. The pictures were then "accidentally" distributed throughout the school. The school to its credit promptly tossed the girls off the cheer squad. The school did not otherwise discipline the girls. Nor did the school discipline the recipients. And, like day follows night, the girls' parents sued, alleging the girls were denied due process.

OK. So your little princesses decided to send nude photos of themselves to boys. The pictures got around. And now this is the school's fault? 'Puter's no fan of America's education system, particularly its union masters, but Holy Baby Jesus in the Manger! This is no one's fault except for these girls. Whoring yourself out to boys to garner attention is wrong and should be punished. The school did right here and should be congratulated, not sued. The girls should thank the aforementioned S.B.J.I.T.M. that they are not 'Puter's kids. They'd be done for, and 'Puter'd likely be the subject of a Division of Family Services investigation.

Moron or Second Amendment Posterboy

According to David Kopel writing in the Wall Street Journal, the answer is both. While admitting that Plaxico Burress displayed an astonishing lack of common sense in drinking alcohol while carrying a loaded handgun in his sweatpants waistband, Mr. Kopel notes that NYC's handgun laws are most likely unconstitutional.

As an Upstater, 'Puter can speak with some authority on the meaningless and byzantine requirements of New York State's handgun laws, and NYC's are even more restrictive. 'Puter's had his concealed carry permit application on his desk for five years now. It's an absolute mess of a process. One cannot legally possess a handgun in New York without a concealed carry permit, even if one has no intention of using the handgun for other than home defense purposes.

First, one has to pay $5.00 to the county clerk to get the application. You can't get the application any place else. You have to be fingerprinted. But only by the county sheriff, and only on certain days during work hours, in one inconvenient downtown location (the county jail). And you get to pay for the privilege, about $10. You may not get fingerprinted even by New York accredited local police departments. You must pay a fee by money order only, approximately $100. You must have four county residents who have known you for years attest to your good character and sign your application. You must state the reason(s) you wish to own a handgun. The permit is then filed, again with only the county clerk. The state runs a criminal background check, and a mental health check. The state calls your spouse to make certain she knows you're getting a gun. Assuming all goes well and the state bureaucracy signs off on your application, it still must be signed by a county judge, who may refuse to do so for any reason that may strike her fancy. The process is mandated by law to take no more than six months. It routinely takes 12-18 months to get approved or rejected.

In NYC, it is effectively impossible for an average citizen to secure a concealed carry permit. This means only ex-cops and current criminals have handguns.

'Puter thinks that neither New York State's laws nor NYC's laws pass constitutional muster. They are uniquely calculated to prevent citizens from exercising their Second Amendment rights by placing unreasonable and onerous burdens on our rights to keep and bear arms.

'Puter does not have a conceptual problem with concealed carry permitting, so long as it the law is drafted as "shall issue," not "may issue." But 'Puter cannot now legally purchase or possess an handgun in New York for home defense or hunting without going through the concealed carry permitting process. This is wrong, and hopefully the laws will be successfully challenged.

None of this takes away from Mr. Burress' stupidity. Or the pretty picture of Mr. Burress' .40 caliber Glock.

iGor-mogons

A long time poking between the Gormogons is over computer equipment. Back in the day, GorT was sporting a Atari 800 with 64K RAM (non-standard memory cards used) and the Volgi was styling with an Apple ][e. Today I run a variety of machines in the house (including a PowerMac G5) but I find both Apple's mocking ads of Vista and anything mocking Apple pretty funny. Well, one of the kings of mocking is in on the action. For your viewing pleasure:

So good on so many levels. iLaugh.

Obama's First International Challenge?

It is being reported today that Israel is preparing plans to attack Iran's nuclear facilities without U.S. backing. While this might prove difficult as the U.S. controls the Iraqi airspace through which the Israeli attack fighter/bombers would have to fly, it isn't impossible. How will P.E. Obama deal with such a situation if/when it occurs under his watch as Commander-in-Chief? We might know if some intrepid reporter or seasoned journalist had asked Sen. Obama but alas, we know not.

Iran is waving this off as part of Israel's psychological and diplomatic warfare. Regardless, this could be quite the international crisis if it materializes. And how would our new President deal with it will be interesting to see.

America, fearsome enemy, unreliable friend.

“One Arab ambassador told me recently that the Iranians are reminding Arab leaders that America didn’t help Fuad Siniora, the prime minister of Lebanon, or Mikheil Saakashvili, the president of Georgia, when they got into trouble—that in fact Washington left them high and dry. Iran, by contrast, is close by and not going anywhere. If the Iranians are throwing their weight around now, imagine what will happen if they go nuclear.”

More here.

Amen!

More from Holy Taco here, including the First Church of Jesus Christ, Greatest American Hero: