Canadia, Our Suburb to the North

Now I'm fired up. Canadia hates America? That's like the fat boy in high school who couldn't get a date to the prom and blamed all his personal problems on the jocks who had girls draped all over them like a flesh tuxedo. Wait, I was that fat kid. Nevermind. Where was I? Oh, Canadia.

After reading Notorious OEV's linked article, I decided to set U.S.-Canadian relations back about to the War of 1812 level.

Let's be honest. The national characters of the U.S. and Canadia are different because of the way the nations were formed. The United States told King George III to get to packing and then tossed England's armies the heck out (with some help from the French), because we knew best how to rule our own danged selves, thank you very much. Canadia didn't so much mind being toadies to the British Crown, and weren't granted Dominion status by the British Parliament until 1867. Canadia still has allegiance to the Crown, and even has the comely lass Queen Elizabeth II on its currency.

In sum, America decides what it wants to do and then does it. Canadia waits for someone to decide what they should do, then waits for a ruler to grant them permission to do so. Or, even more succinctly: American individualism versus Canadian statism. That pretty much nails down the viewpoint differences between America and Our Northern Suburbs. And don't even get me started on Canadia's entertaining French as a language coequal with English.

Now, to be fair, Canadia has traditionally had an exceptional military, carrying more than its fair share of the burden in World War II. And, notably, fighting America to a draw in 1812. Also, as Ghettoputer understands, Canadia's special forces remain exceptional to this day, particularly in sniping. And poutine rules. OEV knows far more about this sort of stuff than Ghettoputer, so Ghettoputer defers.

Also, your invading hordes of resident Canadia Geese are much appreciated by golf course water hazards and shopping mall retention ponds everywhere in America.

The one area in which Canadia clearly has America licked is in the national anthem. The Star Spangled Banner is well-nigh unsingable to anyone except trained musicians with its one-and-a-half octave range. Whereas O, Canada has great lyrics and is emninently singable.

So, good on Canadia, America's Fifty First State! Motto: Slightly More Popular Than North Dakota.